Need Advice!! Not sure on next move? Part 2

[Firstlove]

Dixiegal

I know I have posted this poem before, but I think it bears repeating here with what you are going thru, I know I read it each and everyday and it gives me hope and a plan.


Letting Go
Author unknown
To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I don’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and to cherish the moment.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.

Combining the strength to fear less and love more is in keeping with Winston Churchill's encouragement to the world during WWII to

NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER give up. God has a plan for you Dixiegal, seek His plan and follow Him and He will give you the desires of your heart.

"Peace I leave with you' my peace I give you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid"
- John 14:27

Hang in with God

FL

[MsRae]

DG,

I am so glad that you had a good day.

I went back through all of your old threads. Have you considered going over checking some of the MLC posts? Many of them have been at this as long as you have. Maybe check out seeking answers, Brooklyn, Grace, punkin and goodgirlattitude. Read through the entire thread. They have similar sitchs.

Rae

[MsRae]

Oops! Meant goodattitudegirl!

[dixiegal]

UPDATE!!!!

I just got a call from H!

I took my really off guard. But, I got it together and acted really nice. So, here is how it went down.

H: Hi how are you?

Me: Doing well, How are you?

H: I'm sick. I have the flu and have been in bed for two days.

Me: I'm sorry your feeling bad. I hope you feel better soon.

H: So, what are you doing?

Me: Oh, I just got home from working out for the past few hours.

H: Really, how is that working out for you?

Me: Pretty good, I've lost 27 pounds.

H: Wow, that's good I'm proud of you.

Me: Thanks.

H: (started telling me a story about Dog and etc.)

H: Umm..your kinda quiet.

Me: I was listening to you tell me about Dog.

H: Oh...
H: We'll I was calling about Thursday. I don't know what your plans are. But, I was thinking you could meet me for dinner at say 7pm in Lewisville? (That's halfway between us folks)

Me: (I paused cause I was thinking about my response) That would be fine.

H: We'll if you need it to be later we could meet at 8p?

Me: No, that's fine.

H: So, how is work?

Me: Blah Blah Blah...work talk.

Me: How is the vending machines going and the Casino?

H: Blah Blah Blah....

Me: We'll I better let you go so you can get some rest.

H: Okay, I'll see you Thursday. If you can't make it just let me know.

Me: Okay. Hope you feel better. Bye

H: Bye


Okay Yall, I want to point out that he was not that friendly in his tone. At first, he seemed a little nicer than 1/2 way through his tone changed a bit. Not sure why? ( I also should mention that I posted a few photos from my flight lesson on FB today.)

However, he never mentioned it. But, I thought he is sick and can get real moody when he is. I'm just not sure. So, I'm meeting him this week Thursday at 7p (thats Central Time). I'm so freaked out right now!!!! I'm preparing myself for the worst and praying for the best.

But, his tone made me feel like he had disconnected. I'm so scared yall....I am so afraid he is going to ask for a D. I mean he didnt even mention the fact that he didnt call me when said he was. Wt heck???

Plus, he has me driving and meeting him halfway instead of coming over here by the house? What does that mean???

I miss & love him so much...I need everyone's prayers for GOD to work on both our hearts for Thursday! But, I have to prepare myself for the fact that he may be done and doesnt want me/us. That he just wants to meet to talk about a D.

I need the BITS now...I'm trying to breathe and ground myself abit. I'm What ifs myself to death right now!

Dixie

[Denver_2010]

Dixie - First, you did an absolutely AWESOME job with that conversation... AND with the FB photos. BRAVO!!

Now, here's my advice... call him on Wednesday and cancel. Tell him that you had something come up and can't meet him. Then go do something fun on Thursday night instead... post a photo on FB. I know that this sounds childish, but remember the goal here with your sitch... we need to get your H flustered about how much fun you are having, why you're not pursuing him, and thoughts of losing you!

Next, when you reschedule, tell him that you don't have the time to meet him half way. Tell him to meet you someplace closer to where you live.

Everything that is going on now bw you and your H is about control. Your H HAS had it, he WANTS to keep it, but he feels it slipping away. Wrestle it away from him Dixie!!

BITS
Denver

[2stepboogie]

I gotta say I agree with Denver here. Cancelling the appt will be very hard to deal with from your standpoint but you posted photos and then he calls?

I am going with with Denver on this. I like it

[dixiegal]

UPDATE part II:

Okay yall...I don't think I need to cancel dinner...get this! H just called back!

I was sitting here crying and freaking out...so, I didnt answer it. Got myself together real quick and breathed a bit...

H called again, I was praying and calming down. I didnt answer it.

H called AGAIN! I answered it.

Me: Hello

H: Hey, I was just on FB you did'nt tell me you went flying when I talked to you a little bit ago. I asked you what you had been doing?

Me: We'll, I guess it didn't occur to me. That was yesterday I just wasnt thinking of it when I spoke to you.

H: We'll I mean that's a pretty big deal and you didn't even share it with me. I mean, I'm proud of you. So, tell me about how it went. I mean I just cant believe you didnt tell me...

Me: Blah Blah Blah ..... of course I was real happy talking about it. Said, it was my first lesson and such....

H: We'll good, its sounds like a lot of fun. I'm proud of you.

Me: It was great. I really enjoyed it.

H: We'll it's odd that I can't see your post anymore on FB news feed. Do you have me blocked or something?

Me: No

H: We'll I can see everyone else's but yours.

Me: No, FB has changed some stuff...then I told him how to fix the option to see all his friends.

H: I'm on it now. Let me do that...oh okay I see now. We'll I'm gonna go back to bed. I'm really sick. I just wanted to talk to you about the flying lesson. I'll see ya Thursday.

Me: Okay, hope you feel better

H: Thanks.

Me: Sweet Dreams. Bye

H: Bye


So, brother BITS....what is the word now???? He seemed shocked and freaked out at first. Then he calmed down and acted at the end like I don't care voice thing.

I think if I cancel now. It would be to much....plus honestly I don't think I could go through with it.

Dixie

[Denver_2010]

Dixie, Dixie... You gotta have a killer's instinct here! You have your H on the hook. He's beginning to feel just what you want him to feel... that he's losing control over you!!!!

Dixie, this is why your H feels that he can do whatever, whenever when it comes to his W. He believes that he has, and will continue to have, control over the situation with his W. He believes that he could never, ever possibly lose you.

How long has it been since he lived in your home Dixie? Why do you think that is? It's bc he believes that he doesn't have to buy the cow... get what I mean?

IMO, you have got to take advantage of this opportunity here. Keep pressing this. Cancel the dinner. Your H won't have any idea of what hit him!!!

You're doing great Dixie!!!! Honestly.

BITS
Denver

P.S. I hope that i wasn't too harsh with this post Dixie. I know that this stuff is hard... very, very hard. Just remember, it is easier for us to see the forest from the trees than it is for you bc we are on the outside looking in.

I am in your corner here!!

[2stepboogie]

I still second Denver

[2stepboogie]

You don't want to appear over excited. When he calls and sets a time and date for dinner, well guess what you have a life to and Sh!t happens. Every sitch is different of course but I think denver is right