Thanks HB! You mentioned that "getting married" doesnt mean they are OUT. I did NOT know that it did in the first place. Yes she was pregnant right off the bat! Her first child died in a car, her mom forgot him there.......horrible death! He was two yrs. old. My ex had told someone that she (his new wife), was crazy and he wouldnt be with her very long, (or something like that). I guess he changed his mind huh? My ex told me after he left that he wanted to PLAY! He said he was tired of being married. He tried to date alot of different women, mostly young women. I guess he realized he better grab this one,,,,,to him it was better than being alone. He told me after she moved in that she grew on him. What a basis for a marriage! Anyway I dont try to contact him, the last time I tried, as soon as he heard my voice he hung up!!!! I had called to try and get my sons ss# for life insurance purposes. I was need to talk to my ex about our home debt, something very important,,,,,,,but NO EAY will he give me time to breathe on the phone until he hangs up? Why is this do you think? Why couldnt he speak to me fro a few mins. She is not around and would not have to know, I need to get this debt settled. (long story). I hope my son comes around, he is NOW acting just like his dad as far as talking to me. I am so glad your son as done well ofr himself. You have a right to be very proud! I wish Snodderly would chime in. She tried to help me many times and I wouldnt listen. I hope she is NOT upset with me, I would love to hear from her!
I was need to talk to my ex about our home debt, something very important,,,,,,,but NO EAY will he give me time to breathe on the phone until he hangs up? Why is this do you think? Why couldnt he speak to me fro a few mins. She is not around and would not have to know, I need to get this debt settled. (long story).
If the debt is in HIS name, too; you may have to take him to court to get it settled.
That might be the ONLY way you would get this settled.
Like you say, he's trying to wipe your existence off the face of the earth...and from what you describe in his new wife; it looks like he has jumped straight out of the frying pan, and into a very hot fire.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
HB I dont have the money to take him to court so I dont know what I am gonna do. Most of the MLCers on here seem to at least communicate with their ex if needed. It's been two yrs. and the hate is STILL there, I guess I just dont understand why still? I know and you know he has jumped into a HOT fire, but he seems to be happy from what I have heard. I dont get why he gave up fishing though, that is the one thing he LOVED to do. He was always getting into tournaments and calling me to come to the weigh in and fished at least 3 times a wk. He doesnt fish at all now, follows her around like a puppy dog. From what I read they try to reclaim there youth. She, I am sure makes him feel young again. I dont know why i am even talking about him. I have my own problems right now. I guess I just figured in two yrs. he would have calmed down a little. Losing his job sent him over the hedge it seems.
As for me, I am in a relationship with a great guy and love him dearly, but he says he is no where near ready to settle down. We have been dating 17 months. He was married once for a yr. and she cheated. They dated for two yrs. He says he rushed into marriage and look how that ended. He says he isnt rushing into it again. We both go to church so we DO NOT cross any lines, although we live together. Its very hard being in a relationship where you can not be intimate. AND on top of everything he says he is not near ready to settle down. He told me if i respected and loved him i would wait as long as it took. Any advice for me? Others have given me some advice but I wanted to see what you thought. I know you are a Christian and unless you are a Christian most people dont understand the boundaries.
I am sorry for your situation. My advice to you is to stop living with that man. Christian people don't live together. Living together is crossing the line. Take the high road and show your son a good example. Why would you be in a relationship that is going no where????? You have been victimized by your ML'er, don't be a victim again by a guy who won't commit. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I am just concerned for you.....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Sun, don't let your desire to someday have intimacy and commitment from a man blind you to the fact that this particular man is NOT interested in either. If YOU loved and respected HIM? Come on....it goes both ways. He's cake eating big time, and I bet there's a part of you that already knows that, but is afraid to admit it to yourself. You are very much worthy of having commitment, love and intimacy in your life. Don't sell yourself short or let anyone else tell you "if you really do..". If HE really does....then he needs to step up to the plate, or let you go.
Yes this all does sound harsh...but I think you already realize this on your own, without any of us saying it. And if you do...ponder on that fact.
I wish you all wonderful things Sun. You deserve them.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
Watch it now. DO NOT judge me please. I have my own room. AND as far as my son goes, he doesnt speak to me or see me so he knows nothing about it. Please dont judge me, that is NOT what I was asking for. I am doing nothing wrong. Take your juding somewhere else. You can reply to me if you want BUT I want stand for that. Thank You!!!
Creed how do you get that my bf is NOT interested in me? My post sounded harsher than it was. We love each other but he wants to take things slow. I didnt come here to be judged as a Christian, as I said above. Like I said, unless you are a Christian, you wouldnt understand that boundaries. I wanted support! I tend to rush into things, you all know that from my posts. I just wanted to know how you all felt about him wanting to wait to get married. NO I dont question his Love for me. I just want to move on and he isnt ready.....he is scared. Actually I was hoping HB would chime in because she is a Christian and would understand. Some very realiable people have told me to listen to this man and take my time. YR is one of them, she is very wise. Dont even know why I asked in here????? Some of you assume the worst, always have. Thanks for posting but keep your harshness to yourself! 2 yrs! and you all are still here and still angry. No surprise!
