Dixie, I haven't had to walk where you are yet .... but I can totally understand how agonizing this is for you.
Here's the way I'm trying to approach the sitch ... and I do feel much better than I first did.
Think of right now, as a vacation where you get to do whatever you want to do. I have been looking at some meetup groups that schedule things like hikes, or going out to movies ... and such groups even exist for people who are separated or divorced. Anyway, do something you want to do that you wouldn't have been able to do before. I don't know what that is for you. But, now is a unique opportunity in life. The reset button has been pushed. Even though it isn't what you would've chosen ... it is still an opportunity. Make the best of it!
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
This is EXACTLY right! You do not know what God is doing in his life and with his heart. But what you do understand is what He is doing in yours.
Dixie, I know that you are heartbroken and God knows that too. So, please allow Him those quiet times to speak to you. I need to take that advice sometimes, but let Him do a work on your heart. You just have no idea the wonderful plans that He has for you. And you need to trust Him when you say, "not my will, but Your will be done." This will make it easier in going dark.
You just have such a good heart and a sweet nature. Those qualities are very hard to find in a person these days. Your H is going to learn that. But that isn't your concern right now. Work on YOU because YOU are worth it. And watch for those butterflies!
Now tell me... what kind of dog are you considering??
LIS, that is great! God doesn't want us to be unhappy. He does want us to talk to Him and ask Him for help. That is the part of free will. Sure, God could step in at any time but He only wants to do it when WE ask Him for it.
Be still like LIS says and listen for Him. You'll will hear Him.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
Yall are all so wonderful! I'm iced/snowed in today. So, no work. So, Ive been working on scrapbooking, cleaned the house, laundry. Even organized some more...(Im super organized). Just trying to stay real busy at the house....
I was getting down...thinking about how H didnt even call to check on me in this weather? Then I got on here and read ya'lls sweet words! THANK YOU THANK YOU
I gotta think about what I do have, not what I don't!
"Looking for butterflies"
God bless ya'll & I'm always praying...
Dixie
Ps. MrBond...my FB profile pic is just of me.
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
So, I woke up to the sleet hitting the windows @ 4am. But, I wouldve woke up anyways cause, I cant sleep well these days.
Anyways, jumped on FB. So, I see my H has changed his profile pic from the one of us to just him w/the dog. He also commented on a few posts from family. He also posted a few pics. All of himself w/dog.
It made me cry...I mean I know it seems silly. But, when he said he was done a few days before Christmas. He went in to FB and put a pic of us up as his profile pic. I guess it gave me some kind of hope because, everyone saw it kinda thing. Also, since he never really used FB (only did it for me so, he could send me stuff for FV!) and only started after he ended it. He was sending me messages every time he got on like he missed me and stuff. This time he got on FB changed his pic but, didnt send me any message.
I know something so small as this shouldnt make me cry and feel so hopeless....but it does.
I mean, how can someone just walk away and delete you like you never exsisted? How do you go one day from saying ILY to the next done? Its been a month now....H never went this Dark before. I'm so down..........
I pray everyday for one more chance.....
Not silly at all. My W changed her profile pick of us to just her within a few weeks of her leaving. Crushed me! I returned the favor by changing mine. However her FB still says Married to me. hmmmmmm I check it like once a day. So no not silly at all. Sometimes the smallest things can make you cry. Hang tough you are doing well.
This is why I HATE FB. It is so high school... not even sure I can actually elevate it to that level. In September, before my H's announcement, we both signed up for FB. So I say I'm married to him, FB then sends an e-mail to him to confirm. He ends up not confirming. He said the e-mail was confusing. The only thing, of course, that is confusing is why he had regressed to being a two year-old. The worst part is that on FB we get to live our humiliation in a too public arena. Way too hurtful. And it gives the perfect setting for people to live out their childish behavior so that people like Dixie can take additional blows that are just completely unnecessary.
I agree! I hate the stupid thing I signed up because my nieces begged me for months finally I did. Now I find myself looking at W fb account to see if she is changing her status. I feel like a tard but I've done a lot of things lately that make me feel that way. My W and I never post anything private on there all she ever post every once in awhile is a motivation qoute.
Not silly at all. My W changed her profile pick of us to just her within a few weeks of her leaving. Crushed me! I returned the favor by changing mine. However her FB still says Married to me. hmmmmmm I check it like once a day. So no not silly at all. Sometimes the smallest things can make you cry. Hang tough you are doing well.
Just once per day 2Step?! I check my W's FB profile like every few hours to make sure that I'm still M'd to her! LOL...
It's not irrational to be upset by things like this Dixie. I think everyone here has felt similar about such "little" things. Things like that hurt. Sounds like you are having a better day. I'm happy to hear that.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
She might not post anything private, but when people start changing their statuses, that becomes very public. It's hurtful. And these changing pics, those things are hurtful too. And all of this is done with a huge audience. And like I said, people like Dixie and you, just get hurt more. I don't like it one bit. The last thing these children need is a forum to help their nonsense behavior along. FB caters to people like that! My heart goes out to Dixie and all of you dealing with that nonsense. I know it hurts. Ugh, I gotta get off my soapbox with this FB thing but Dixie was the 2nd person today that fell victim to this FB nonsense in my life today. The other I got to live through out loud (off the internet) and it was so so sad.
Dixie, I am so cheering for you!!! You are awesome and you don't let anyone or anything tell you any different! And I'm a scrapbooker too!!! I knew I liked you
And another thing, we care very deeply that you are home safe out of the ice/snow.
