Need Advice!! Not sure on next move? Part 2

[dixiegal]

Good Afternoon Yall,

So, I had to start a new thread...

This weekend was pretty good for me...who knew?! I didnt even cry. Okay, I teared up once but, that's still very good! I had a wonderful Saturday afternoon/evening w/a girlfriend! I laughed even!! Sunday I went to a Bible Study for Marraiges in trouble. It was really hard (hence the tear up) cause I was the only one w/out a spouse present. But, I felt like I learned a few things...

I have not heard from H in any form since he picked up the Dog last Thursday. So, that's been real hard. I struggle w/the feeling of end of us. As he has never gone dark like this EVER. But, I refrain from contacting him in anyway and hanging tough with the LRT/Going Dark too.

But, it does feel that he just pushed a "Delete Button". Anyways, I have a C appt. this Thursday w/ a new guy. Cause, I felt the other guy was a little odd. Plus, this MC comes highly recommended and his goal is to save Marraiges!

Yall pray for me this week...I'm starting to feel numb about everthing..I'm staying focused on GOD and my own walk. But, its so hard (as yall know). I want my M so much, I know w/what Ive learned, GOD and everything we have gone through that we can have a new Marraige.

Praying for yall everyday!!

Hugs, Dixie

[2stepboogie]

Hey dixie i know the feeling of lost all too well. Even with the exchange my W and I have had I still feel empty. While at work I forget about my W being gone but when I drive home I realize she won't be there but then I think about coming home to u guys and I actually feel better. I have zero doubt that after spending so many yrs together he can hit the delete button that easy. I refuse to believe that he doesn't think about you. I pray for you guys all the time but if you keep doing what you are doing when he comes back you will be the new and improved Dixie stay the course.

[hope2011]

Praying for you every day, Dixie!!!!! I'm glad you made it through the weekend ok. Hats off to you for going to the Bible Study for Marriages alone!!!! WTG!!

[zengypsy]

Good Afternoon Yall,

So, I had to start a new thread...

This weekend was pretty good for me...who knew?! I didnt even cry. Okay, I teared up once but, that's still very good! I had a wonderful Saturday afternoon/evening w/a girlfriend! I laughed even!! Sunday I went to a Bible Study for Marraiges in trouble. It was really hard (hence the tear up) cause I was the only one w/out a spouse present. But, I felt like I learned a few things...

I have not heard from H in any form since he picked up the Dog last Thursday. So, that's been real hard. I struggle w/the feeling of end of us. As he has never gone dark like this EVER. But, I refrain from contacting him in anyway and hanging tough with the LRT/Going Dark too.

But, it does feel that he just pushed a "Delete Button". Anyways, I have a C appt. this Thursday w/ a new guy. Cause, I felt the other guy was a little odd. Plus, this MC comes highly recommended and his goal is to save Marraiges!

Yall pray for me this week...I'm starting to feel numb about everthing..I'm staying focused on GOD and my own walk. But, its so hard (as yall know). I want my M so much, I know w/what Ive learned, GOD and everything we have gone through that we can have a new Marraige.

Praying for yall everyday!!

Hugs, Dixie

DG - You even type with a Southern drawl; LOVE it!

VERY proud of you for going to your Bible Study alone. I'm, sure it was hard, but you did it. I hope that even if some of us have to go thru the sufferings of a D, that can still have a new M with our X's. After all, a D is only a piece of paper and one can marry their X again.

Stay the course DG and keep us in your prayers - we will do the same for you.

[dixiegal]

Thanks Hope, Gypsy & 2Step! Yall are the best! Thanks 4 keeping me going with your words of HOPE! 2Step your right on that...It helps to come home and jump on here to folks that understand & support you!

Yall are awesome & I'm blessed 2 have yall!!!

[Bolt]

we are all here for you DG! Stay the course!

[dixiegal]

UPDATE:

So, I woke up to the sleet hitting the windows @ 4am. But, I wouldve woke up anyways cause, I cant sleep well these days.

Anyways, jumped on FB. So, I see my H has changed his profile pic from the one of us to just him w/the dog. He also commented on a few posts from family. He also posted a few pics. All of himself w/dog.

It made me cry...I mean I know it seems silly. But, when he said he was done a few days before Christmas. He went in to FB and put a pic of us up as his profile pic. I guess it gave me some kind of hope because, everyone saw it kinda thing. Also, since he never really used FB (only did it for me so, he could send me stuff for FV!) and only started after he ended it. He was sending me messages every time he got on like he missed me and stuff. This time he got on FB changed his pic but, didnt send me any message.

I know something so small as this shouldnt make me cry and feel so hopeless....but it does.

I mean, how can someone just walk away and delete you like you never exsisted? How do you go one day from saying ILY to the next done? Its been a month now....H never went this Dark before. I'm so down..........

I pray everyday for one more chance.....

[lostinscared]

Oh, Dixie! It's not silly. Please don't minimize your feelings and think that they are silly. I understand completely why you feel the way that you do. (((hugs)))

Dixie, going dark is your only option right now and you need to stay strong. You must. As far as hope, I can tell you about one of my dear friends who actually divorced his wife. He, too, went dark and was partying up with his friends and other women. Well, one day friend's wife went out on a date and friend DID NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL. Well, that started the road back to recovery and eventually remarriage for the both of them. Now, I'm not telling you to go and date someone. What I am saying is that there is always hope. It's a matter of whether you want to maintain it or not. Life, it's weird, you know? Nothing is static, everything is always changing. Your reality right now can be completely different from your reality a week from now and you won't have a clue what will set that change off. It's like what they say about a butterfly flapping it's wings... it could set off a wind storm later on as it builds momentum. That's what you need right now, a butterfly flapping it's wings.

I'm praying for you. Will you consider getting another dog???

LIS

[dixiegal]

LIS,

Thank you so much. You always say just the right thing to make me feel better. I know that GOD can change anything @ anytime. I just keep praying & being faithful to him.

Your right I need a butterfly flapping its wings! I love that thought...I'm gonna hold on to that!!!

I'm considering another pet...I'm giving it more thought everyday. I miss the dog so much too...she is a Mommies girl too!

When I get real down, I think...I have no idea what GOD is doing in his life right now!? He could be using this time to work on his heart? right?

I'm staying dark LIS. But, so is he....that's was scary...but, he knows I don't want this...it's his choice. I have accept that...I do a bit more everyday....but, it doesnt lessen the hurt, missing him or loving him.

Thank you LIS for supporting me!!!

Dixie

[Redo]

UPDATE:

I know something so small as this shouldnt make me cry and feel so hopeless....but it does.

I mean, how can someone just walk away and delete you like you never exsisted? How do you go one day from saying ILY to the next done? Its been a month now....H never went this Dark before. I'm so down..........

I pray everyday for one more chance.....

I can understand you. A week before my wife filed for the D, she removed my contact info from her yahoo contact list, removed all links of mine from FB. At that time i did not connect the dots to figure out what was coming. But after receiving the D, i felt hurt that my W went to extent of cutting me out like a thorn on her side. It hurts to know that your spouse wants nothing to do with with you anymore after having shared everything with you...unbelievable.