Her complaints from what I've gathered: That I never focused on her, she always came second. We didn't do enough things together. I kept her from being with her friends, and made her feel bad about going out. That I've controlled her.
What I think she found in the other guys?: They spent recreational time together. She could do whatever she wanted.
I think that spending fun time together, is a HUGE reason we are where we are. I ignored her for a game, and our relationship fell apart.
Well, as I was typing this saying what I thought she felt, I just went ahead and asked her. Here is her exact response:
i don't like that all of the important decisions for my life in the last 4 years have been dictated to me - I HAVE TO move because "I'm married" I HAVE TO buy a house, because that's what married people do, I HAVE TO give you half my paycheck... i'm tired of doing things because other people want me to i just want to be my own person for a while... that may sound selfish to you, and you'd be right, it is. but you know what, i'm ok with being selfish for once
And regarding me: i don't like how skinny you are, i don't like how you force your opinions on people, i hate that you always feel you're justified in everything you do i hate how mean you were to my friends, i hate how you always act superior to everyone else
My wife said yesterday that she tried to call me, and I was in a place that had no reception so she may have. That's two phone calls within a few weeks, which is odd when that would have made only the 4th phone call of the whole trip.
She does want me to go to a local car dealer, and check out a small pickup truck she found online. Should I do this for her?
On a side note, does anyone reply here?
Well, at least we now know why she started contacting you. It looks like she wants something from you.
I would not further entangle yourself financially with someone who is actively talking divorce with you. A kind "Considering where we're at right now, I don't think that's such a good idea" would be a good response, in my opinion.
What are her complaints about you/the marriage? And what do you think might be attractive to her about the other guy?
Sorry, I disagree. "Kind," yes. "Financial rescuing/entanglement," at this stage, not wise.
I personally would not enter into new financial relationships (esp. for major purchases -- car, house, etc.) with someone who was actively talking divorce.
I would not be paying anything for the car. She would buy it herself, it would only be me going to look at it to see what shape it was in. She is oversees and can't do this from there, so she has to trust me to look it over.
Well she scrapped wanted to look at the truck because its not a manual.
We also had a fight. Kinda the first fight of our marriage, and she was on the attack the whole time, trying to do as much damage as she could. The focus was mostly on how I had never listened, or tried. Its only "now that I don't want to try" that I am wanting to work on the marriage. The fight was caused when she accused me of taking money from her private account, which I hadn't. It progressed to cover a whole gamut of things. And ended it by removing me and my entire family from her facebook and then saying she was going to close our joint account.
