Scared, you must stop trying to convince her through R talk. What you do is make your changes and allow time for her to "see" them. Your actions is what will be the proof to her....not the talk.
Have you read any the tips for 180 changes?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
no I have not read those tips, where can I find that info?
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Ok, I have issues with a few of these but overall I do see the point.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Well last night we went out with 2 of my friends and the other woman and my wife click enough that I think that have fun together. Things were playful fun and then when we got home I asked my wife what about if I take a job in Virginia next February. And she replied, "Why are you asking me?" I was shocked again. I thought the evening went well and then she told me, just because you have been nice for a week doesnt mean anything has changed. So anyway, I again took the blow. Should I keep pressing forward with my change to myself and keep treating the family like they deserve and see what happens? She is still not planning on leaving until June when school lets out.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
I asked my wife what about if I take a job in Virginia next February.
This is where you set yourself up for disappointment.
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"Why are you asking me?" I was shocked again
Get over being shocked! She is telling you very clearly that she wants no part of your future.
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I thought the evening went well
Right here......right here is where men mess up. One tiny bit of niceness and they think it is a signal to make a move. Can't she have a nice evening with you and friends without you trying to say something regarding the R or future?
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just because you have been nice for a week doesn't mean anything has changed
True! A WAW has to see more than one week's worth of changes before she's very impressed. Most folks can change for a few days, but won't keep the changes going.
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Should I keep pressing forward with my change to myself and keep treating the family like they deserve
Well, your old way didn't work out, so what do you suggest about treating your family? What do you mean by treating them like they deserve?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I am going to start by doing things around the house I have not done much in my life. I am going to take over kitchen chores such as dishes and counter cleaning. She is an awesome cook so that is a no no. LOL
I am going to take care of the floors best I can, sweeping the steps and vacuum. We have hard wood floor and steps. I am going to think of her when I go to grab a drink or snack to see if she would like anything.
I am going to also intereact more with our children. I want them to know I love spending time with them.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
