She has everything...a beautiful house, a beautiful cottage, unlimited finances, she is beautiful etc. I do believe she is very happy with the situation. She can come and go as she pleases and I am there to take care our our kids....BUT there is nothing in the world that l love more than to take care of and be with my kids. So, I am VERY thankful for that. I am a fantastic father. Something that I grew into.
So, no I don't expect my X to ever come back. All I am doing now is just trying to heal myself by staying away from her.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
sounds like a plan. lucky this didnt happen when you were 60. now you have more time to find someone who actually cares about you. has the boyfriend met the kids yet? and dont say theyre isnt one - there is...just remember its going to be hard for him to compete against you. ive been told multiple time and read in multiple places that if she ever really want you back, its when you really move on and are through with her (not just lip service) - the problem (or not is) that when she wants you back, you really have moved on, and will tell her to jump in the lake! hard to believe, but it will happen, especially when you meet the right person. im not a vengeful person, but to see you really happy with someone will kill her.
No boyfriend that I am aware of. She is the "dating kind" so I am sure there are men around.
My poor little daughter told me the other day "daddy, I don't want you to get a girlfriend because then you and mommy can't get back together" Could just scream at my X !
Ya, I have heard that from a lot of people that the X only wants you back when you have completely moved on.
It has taken me 3 years to get to the stage of just finally starting to move forward. That is why I no longer initiate contact with my X. It is hard, let me tell you. Over the last few weeks I have come so close to sending my X photos of stuff I have done with the kids...but I have resisted.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
dont do it - that way hasnt worked for 3 years - cheeseless tunnel as michelle would say. its still almost zero chance the new way will work either, but its better than zero. im sure it makes you feel good, no matter what you say pubically, that your daughter is on your side (for the family unit), but im not sure that it helps her heal. i think of all the high roads we take, letting the kids realize that its over, and reinforcing that, it the hardest thing to do, when every ounce of your soul is saying "go ahead kid - let her know how much damage she has caused" - do you think your ex knows you are on this forum?
Yep, have no interest in sending any more photos to X. There is also no point of me "letting her have it" either. That won't change anything.
Oh ya, for sure my kids say things to my X about wishing we were all together. As you have probably read I had been out with my X and the kids a number of times but don't do that anymore. It's too hard and me and on the kids.
No, my X does not know I am on here.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
well, at least theres no guy important enough to be introduced to the kids - and that tells you that you have a leg up on the competition in that respect. how do you guys do the holidays?
Ahhhh. I am so very lucky about the holidays. My X is jewish and I'm not. I have the kids for a week at Christmas forever. Of course my X and MIL call us on Christmas.
To tell you the truth there are no conflicts with my X at all on any issue. Even if I want to see the kids more than I do it's not problem.
Not to brag but I am not worried about competition. When I say I do everything with my kids I really do !! So much so that other parents have started to ask if I would take their kids on some of our adventures. I am not afraid to ask for anything, so the kids and I have been very fortunate. My 7 year old daughter has been to a Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood concert. We have been very fortunate to meet both Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift one on one. Btw Taylor Swift is one of the nicest peson I have ever met. I got my 6 year old son into motocross riding so he and I ride dirtbikes together. My daughter is now interested in it so I took her to a race and she got to meet and become friends with the women's world champion.
The kids and I have gone dogsledding, camping, road trips, flying trips, concerts, art galleries, galas, NFL NBA NHL and soccer games. We rock climb, snow and water ski etc. I live downtown in a big city so they also get exposed to every kind of food, restaurant, and culture.
Recently I was able to get my kids U.S. citizenship and to celebrate we went to Boston for 4th of July and all that entailed.
So,.....overall I have the best possible divorce in history and am very grateful to have my kids.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
I just had a nasty exchange with my XH and am so sick of all this crap. We have huge issues with D18, she lives with him right now, but is moving back up here with me, she is a teenage pain in the a**, I love her to death, but she has had issues with anxiety, ADD, being what I think is just lazy and so on...She has been to many, many Dr's both here and there and seems to get no releif when it comes to things she doesn't want to do, but when she wants to do something the problems disappear making it hard to believe they were real in the first place...Anyway, she is stuck down there due to snowstorm and just today can make it up here, so the plan is for her to leave tomorrow, but now she doesn't want to come and is having anxiety...blah, blah, blah..XH calls me and I am just so distraught about so many things so I start saying things like "I didn't ask for this (to raise three kids completely alone), I didn't chose this (to live like we do, which really [censored]!), I am in school almost full-time, work full time, have the kids full time with no break, I just can't take much more, I can't have D18 come up here and cause nothing but problems and anxiety for me and the other two kids" XH says "I don't want to hear all this again, I don't want to hear how you didn't chose this and that you blame me for everything, I have heard it a million times how you didn't chose this or that, you just say all of it to make me feel guilty and I don't want to hear it"
I was just speechless, cause honestly, he deserves to hear it each and every day, cause he is the cause of all of it, he did chose it and he made it all happen, I didn't want a D, I didn't leave, I didn't cheat, but me and the kids are the only ones with consequences to all he did and chose for us. I just said "f**k you, you have no clue what I go thru each day, I am sick of it" He said something about not wanting or having to hear it and hung up!!
I AM DONE!! He says he has heard it a million times, but really he hasn't!! I have kept it all in check and not shared so many things and problems with him regarding the kids, finances, downsizing to a small condo, the company my family owns and all it's problems, etc. I have treated him with kid gloves and sheltered him and now he says that I have laid the guilt on him a million times and he shouldn't have to hear it!! Who else should have to hear it?
I am just venting here, I am so upset and don't know what to do!! I truly can't take much more, I am so good to that man and he can't listen to me vent for 5 minutes? I told him D18 can just stay there and not graduate HS and he can do as he sees fit, I have to get some tough love with her. But, I really want D18 up here away from him, and so I don't have to have contact with him at all!!
HELP!!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
