No sex since June, no hug since before Thanksgiving, no "I Love You" since who knows when and when together just bumps on log from both of us. Never any real communication. Family is in town right now and parents and the 2 of us went to lunch. Very awkward siting next to each other. Very obvious no emotion to me. 2 kids involved. bomb was dropped by her in May that she no longer feel love for me as a husband.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Your emotional connection is broken with your spouse, that's clear. If you are going to take action to restore any sort of relationship, you need to take action yesterday, in my humble opinion. She's still living with you, you still have a good chance, its so much more difficult when they leave. Get Divorce Busting, Divorce Remedy pronto and the Five Love Languages.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
What & Where? I am so scared because I loge her but she seems bothered by being stuck with me......
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Try Amazon any other bookstore, or this website for Michelle Weiner Davis' "Divorce Busting" and "Divorce Remedy". The Five Love Languages are by Gary Chapman also available at any bookstore.
You have my sympathy, my walk away spouse is not exactly friendly to me either and he is distant at best. It's hard place to be. Just keep in mind you can't change her or her mind right now. You can only change yourself and your behaviour.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
New Years I received no Hug Kiss of a Happy New Year.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Out of the blue after not attending Marriage counseling for over a month, my wife emailed me today at work and told me we have a meeting scheduled for tomorrow morning. Any clues?
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
My wife told me last May she wasnt sure if she loved me anymore. Chaos of all sorts ensued. We have been going thru Marriage and Individual counseling since August. Things seem to be getting worse. I feel I made some of the changes suggested in counseling and some I stumled over. at this point it feels like it is all up to me and not much is being done on her part. My parents just finished a 2 week visit over the holidays and that is wehre the above posts started. So I am just not sure. I kinda backed off recently with attempting to hug and saying I love you. We have not had sex since June. I need physical contact to feel loved and there has been none.
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
First off, interesting post name that you used. Based on what you have posted it seems to me that FEAR or “scared” if you will is your biggest issue right now. Is this fear understandable? Yes. It is though something that you will need to get a handle on if you have any hope to save YOURSELF in this process.
People have suggested that you purchase Divorce Busting and Divorce Remedy. I suggest that you pick these two books up immediately.
I also suggest that you come to some realizations pronto, and that is that right now YOUR W wants out or at least that what it appears like to me. Does that mean the it is “over”? Not by a long shot buddy. What I am about to say to you may not make sense right now…but I want you to remember this….
YOU Scared determine when it is over! That’s right YOU!
Quote:
she seems bothered by being stuck with me
OF course she is bothered….accept it. Know that right now only YOUR ACTIONS can change things.
Quote:
New Years I received no Hug Kiss of a Happy New Year.
So what….no kiss or hug. F*ck it. Man up dude. Are you in this for the long haul?
Can you do me a favor and list some of the complaints that your wife has about you. Also give me a little more info. Any kids, how long have you been married? Is another person in the picture? Are you guys in a mountain of debt?
Also, take a minute and write down what YOU want in YOUR life.
Breath buddy…breath…
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
18 years, known each other for 20. 2 kids 13 and 10. no real debt and about o retire after 20 years in the military. No other person as far as i know.
she is sick of me being hurtful, mean and doing and saying mean hurtful things. May seem easy to change but it has been a long 8 months since she dropped the bomb in May.
Tonight I came home from work and she told me she is done, tired of hurting the kids and herself. I have said some very mean evil things over the holidays and that lead to the final straw. So It seems to be mostly my fault. We are military stationed over in Germany so that makes it hard for her to just up and separate or leave, plus middle of school year as well.
Tomorrow we have the marriage counseling and more chat this evening but it appears i will not be swaying her opinion. Now my question is, do I make the changes anyway in hopes it could salvage or will she take the attempts as my last ditch effort? Either way, I suppose it truly is my last ditch effort huh!
Me - 39 yrs old Wife - 39 yrs old Married - 18 years Together - almost 21 year Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10 Bomb Dropped in May 2010 Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
