Starting to really feel the anguish. Can't stop thinking about W in the sack w/OM Trying to keep occupied, cleaning house, laundry, anything. Need you guys to pray for me - now!!
Pickle, I am sorry you are in this situation. This probably doesn't help much, but you are not alone. Myself and others are in the same situation.
So far today, I swept the floor, cleaned litter the litter box, started some laundry. All the while wondering if wife is Christmas shopping with OM.
I've been told it gets better - I sure hope so.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
BTW. I need to update my signature. We are not divorced yet -- wife left 10 days ago.
Me: 45 WAW: 45 | M22 | T25 | No Kids Nov 09 W Filed | Dec 09 Separation Mar 17 2010 Divorce Papers Signed | Divorce Hearing Cancelled Moved back home May 2010 PA Confirmed June 2010 | W left Dec 7 2010
Will pray for you. I understand, when my H went to visit OW, I was so distressed that I even ran a red light cause I was crying while driving and got a $520 ticket!
Do not let your imagination run wild. Sometimes, it is not as bad as we think.
YOu can try to be busy to get your mind off it, or again, you can just pull the covers over your head and cry at hoe, sometimes that is also helpful.
But do not forget to take care of your kids.
My D11, early in our sitch, once told me: "You have a problem, Mom, and I know its Dad. Dad has a problem too. Both of you are giving me a problem. You are not taking care of me..."
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
Shouldn't have done laundry. I noticed she packed her intimates, teddy, thongs, thigh highs, garters. That's what's driving me keep busy. How can our spouses treat us like this. For better for worse. Just shoot me.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Sandi posted this yesterday on Kempers thread. You wife doesn't have to chase you,she is off with another man and you are at home washing and folding her laundry.
Quote:
IMO, the only reason a woman would look at another man with interest is b/c she is not completely happy/satisfied with the R she is in with OM. This woman's emotions are all over the place and she doesn't know who she wants. She doesn't even know what she wants. She is making decisions and acting out of her emotions. So, to say she's unstable is an understatement, but typical in these cases.
I know if my H had stopped pursuing me and started showing interest in anothere woman....I would have dropped all interest in OM and my attention would have been completely on what was taking place with my H & OW. He would have suddenly looked more attractive if another woman wanted him. But here is the the most importatnt part....if I had flirted enough to show H I might be interested in making our M work.....and then he dropped OW right then (without much effort on my part), then I think my interest in getting him back might not hold very long. It has a lot to do with the "chase". Being men, you should know that the chase is such an important part of the courtship. If the girl can be swayed too easily.....well, it just takes the wind out of your sail,doesn't it? Much more interesting if there is enough wind to fuel that boat and keep it going.
Keeping a nice distance between you and the woman. Letting her see you once in a while and letting the sexual attraction build.....causing her desire for you to deepen....that's important.
Here's the thing that I don't understand about teenagers today.....and even young adults. They don't appreciate the dating game. They don't play the field. It's like they want a solid committment before going out on a date. Takes the fun of the chase & mystery out of it, if you ask me.
I had some good looking boys that wanted to date me in school, but there was something that was lacking. You see, good looks isn't everything. There has to be a chemistry between the couple, or at least for the girl. I remember going out with a guy who was crazy about me....but I felt like he was my cousin. I couldn't even kiss him. Nice guy, nice looks.....but just no chemistry.
The biggest thing that would turn me off was for a guy to be sniffing around me. Sometime I wondered if I would see slobber dripping off his chin. (lol)....no, just kidding a little. I liked that guy that stood over to the side who wasn't looking at my boobs, but was looking into my eyes and had a little hint of a message there in that look. That was what attracted me to my H. I wanted to learn more about what made him tick!
That old saying about men & women is as true today as it was from the beginning of time. "He chased the girl unil she caught him". Be very subtle, and let her "work" to catch you. _________________________ It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
My Husband actually left me the first time with a huge mortgage and 4 kids in a town with no family and took the money with him as he moved right in with another woman! I know how u are feeling, I had to think about him sleeping in the bed with her ans sharing a home with her while he was still married to me. But when I pulled back and started GALing, it was on!! He went nuts asking where I was, why was I dressed nice, who was calling me since they heard we had seperated.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Wish I knew some single women - I guess. All my friends who happen to be women also happen to be happily married. Some of them are real fantasy material, but I'd never.
No, I've been fighting the thoughts. Posting them helps. I journal a little and vent a little and it helps.
Tonight I enjoyed watching my Penn State girls vollyball team win a fourth straight NCAA title with my S11. Wonderful TV
Now if the Jaguars can knock off the Colts tomorrow and win the NFC south, W will be a distant memory - for at least a while.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
