Sandi - You are the best. You are a great woman and incredible person. Your advice is fairly close to others I know you remember and respect (Greek, Puppy, Lost Rabbit, and a few others). I so, so, so appreciate hearing from you, and you have been in my corner since day 1, about a year ago when I found this site.
I need to read your thoughts a couple more times. I am doing that this time. Reading peoples advice a few times and really digesting.
Thank you so much I can't give you the right words for what I feel
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
I know I'm going to get in trouble for saying this but I'm going to do it anyway.
Please WAIT for God's answer. He will answer you.
I'm not saying that Sandi's answer is wrong. It may be what God tells you to do but wait for God to tell you that. Please.
Don't put a time limit on God. He may answer you today or it may be after Christmas. If you don't hear from Him then His answer may be - do nothing.
The "world's" answers are so different from what God tells us to do. Read 1 Corin 7:12-16 and then pray about it again.
I know this hurts. "False starts"...It is part of the process. Praying and waiting is part of the process too.
GW - I think from what I have read that it's not just about you or the girls it's about what God wants you to do too.
I am not saying wait until after Christmas. I am saying wait until you have an answer from God. If he wants you to do what Sandi and these boards tell you to do God will tell you that. Trust Him!
Sandi – What she fears 1) Security, especially financial. It is the one need that she cake eats from me. It is the one need that OM could care less about. I’ve even read it in person here recently…she is reaching out to him, telling him again about her fears of financial security, and he does nothing to reassure her that he will meet that need and she will be ok 2) The girls. Telling them, not living with them, etc.
GW
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Sandi, And I forgot to answer question about distance. OM lives in southern Texas, we live in DC area. ZERO chance of either one of them getting transferred somewhere together for a minimum of 18 months...
GW
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
I am asking God to help me, to give me strenght, clarity and direction. It is part of the reason I have held off from more of a Sandi like technique the last couple of days, because I am hoping He shows me the way clearly.
I am too,GW,I really am praying for that.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thank you Sandi. You have certainly paid forward to me. I am working on a plan very similar to what you suggested. Your heart felt post was timely, I needed a little more nudging and today I am in pain as the shock has wore off. Working with the 3 whistles man himself...getting my ducks in a row. Thinking best time is Fri or Sat.
And they had better not ban you. You have given so much to so many here that are in so much pain
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
I feel confident that the whistle man will give you the best he has to give. He may be a tough dog, but he has a very caring heart for people who are hurting. I am so glad he's helping you. I think it is a plus for anyone who has him in their corner.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sorry, been a crazy 24 hours cause I took the tough love approach. Lots that I could post, but no time right now. Short version, is I gave her an all in or all out, need a decision now. I took a while and a lot of debate but she said out because there was too much damage done and too much guilt when she looks at me. So I said start looking for somewhere to live in the morning.
Today was rough and she did find 8 places to look at...but now is starting to crack so we'll see. It is the girls and the fact that she is now realizing and admitting she needs professional help but won't be able to afford it on her own.
I calmly stated that she wasn't listening last night. I said end the A with OM and then we can talk about anything and what it will take to move forward or even tread water while you get help...but the A has to end.
That is the very short version.
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
