I am so sorry this is so tough, so intense for you. Like I said, I did not want to live when I first came here. And if you can stand it, I am still 'friends' with this guy, but I have the upper hand. He is not the man I was involved with.
This board, Michele personally, and her works not only saved 'me'; SHE and her works taught me skills that saved my romantic relationship (I'll give you details if you are interested); my relationship with my children; and work and work relationships. I am almost 10 years strong. You can't get more pathetic than I WAS--and I was a s l o w learner. But I built my skills, and I KNOW you can too, because you are a good person.
You are special, Mystik, and you can do this. I just feel you can come through this really strong. And I so know it's hard.
A few years ago, my D23(now) had been through some similar programs. She was hospitalized, the went through some outpatient programs. She's doing really well now. It is a slow road, but give yourself some time.
peace and ALL good, sg
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
You sound alot like what I am going through. I am working the skills, and I want desperately for my H to come back to me, but I know as long as he is with OW then he will not be with me. I am only 4 weeks into this, but I know one thing, I have to take care of me. I KNOW how hard it is dealing with all these emotions. Especially when it comes to our children.
I don't believe my H is thinking clearly and will not, until he really admits what he is doing to himself. I can think pragmatically all the time, but I get in trouble when I let emotion get in the way.
You keep working on you and being the best mom and single woman out there. You don't have to date or even look at another man, but take care of yourself as if you would!
Prayers are with you!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Thanks for the support everyone. Hanging in there, today was another rough day. Overslept this morning but I did get to treatment. Still feeling rather hopeless but trying to get back into the hopeful mindset. I still keep looking for contact from H and feeling down when there is none. Just missing him really bad right now.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
Hi Mystik, just getting caught up. Glad you got your tree, and the sadness about memories is bound to be there every time you see those things, but not as sad over time. You are definitely sounding stronger and I'm sorry your DS was sick...but sounds like he is on the mend!
About the picture....your S seems to "get it." Your his mom, his dad's his dad, and the new baby is his "(half) brother." No OW in there at all....or her other son (she does have another child, right?)
Oh, and I doubt that filing for D will make anyone not want to reconcile in the future-- "What? You wanted to divorce me when I cheated on you, got another woman pregant and left you and our son for her?! How could I ever forgive you for filing for divorce?" see how ridicilous that looks!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
NM, I just keep praying that next year is different, and hopefully H has woken from his fog by then. DS is doing better, I think. His cough is horrendous today and he is complaining of nausea. Not sure if it's from post-nasal drip or the stomach bug lingering.
Yes, OW has another child. But when I think of our family it's just me, H and DS. No other child because I have no other child. It is the OW's child, not mine, so therefore not part of my family. I can't deal with it being part of my family right now. When H returns I'll figure it out then.
I know that if I file for D my H will be jumping for joy. It's the filing for out of pocket support, change to visitation and to have the daycare taken from his paycheck that I fear will impact chances of reconciliation.
New thread: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2112303
