Doing it my way!

[Lostforwords]

Mach,

You are right as always....I was angry and frustrated....so venting was a much better to solution to a situation with no remedy.

I am not the man who started this journey by no means....could I have handled all this in the past? Definitely not.....and maybe I am finding all this stuff out now is a reflection of what I have achieved. One common theme out of the people who have shared the truth (whether they were negatively involved or not) is that they felt lied to by her and that I in no way deserved her treatment of me. To see that my actions were so powerful that it affected these people.....is statement enough in what I achieved.

So today I close the chapter on the past in my life and start a new one. It will surely hold many new things, but it will be strange new world for me to investigate.

[Cadet]

LFW

The only thing I can think of right now is your journey is still not over and you have not seen the last of your wife.

Even when we say we are done, we are not.
Even when we get divorced, there is more to come.
So we must learn to deal with these bumps in the road, which sometimes cause huge holes in the vehicle that we are riding in.

I know that you are up to the task.
You have learned much wisdom and you will carry that forward with you, down the road!

[Truegritter]

Lost

This is very difficult for me.

I know that my W suffers from the same kind of trauma/crisis.

It is more than MLC.

Whatever the reason for it, they have to become self aware to have any kind of shot at a healthy life.

Until that happens. There is no use in thinking that there is hope for a M to really work.

Their choices are based in a coping mechanism they learned when the trauma occurred in their childhood. When they were a victim.

Not an excuse, just what is.

It was not a waste for you. I can say that becuase I am one of those you helped.

AND

You have helped your W, your kids, and everyone who was witness to your courage, integrity and strength.

I believe you have given the best of yourself to your W without condition.

That is the gift you gave her.

And yourself.

I believe it would not have mattered had you known of all this other stuff ...

You would still be the man you are.

You would still make the choices you made because you made them from your core and you stood for what you believed.

Think back when you were in the battle.

You were not attached to outcomes only you living your choices.

Don't rewrite the testament to that.

You are defined by those choices and they are the best part of you.

Where does this man go from here?

[Lostforwords]

He goes up....definitely up!

[PEI]

^^^ wishing I had a like button

[Lostforwords]

Chronicles of MLC-Crazy stories from the beyond

Basically yesterday was a good day...heard little from my wife which is good and the kids seem to be adjusting to mommy not being home rather quickly and very well (no fighting, back talking, etc...so a good kid day...LOL). So the only real thing of interest was from the OM's wife....and I have to share because this crud is so out there it is actually funny.

After or traditional good morning text the OM's wife started complaining that her fridge was completely empty and she had no coffee. So I told her to come over and grab some coffee...already brewed...so she did. While we were chatting about the day before the OM starts texting her. It appears that my wife and him had no money for gas and groceries (to fill in the blank...the OM's wife offered to help out with extra cash when she had some as long as he kept her on his health insurance...it is her choice). So she runs home to check the accounts to see if she has enough money to buy her groceries and give him some extra. So she pulls up the account....sees that the OM had treated my wife to a night out on Thanksgiving. Therefore using his extra cash. Leaving him very little for groceries and gas for the week for him and his two kids (have to suppose my wife also). So the OM and his wife proceed for the next few hours to argue why she should/shouldn't give him extra money. Of course she was ticked off because she knew they had food when she left Wednesday, had no food of her own, and add to that blowing money on a night out with my wife. So they fight through it.....and end with the fact he wasted money that should have gone to groceries...so she wasn't giving him any extra (which she didn't have). He then calls 30 minutes later and asks her..."Do I have money to go bowling tomorrow?".

I mean how unreal does this MLC really make people. Any grown adult should know that if they blow money (good marriage or not) they shouldn't be asking for more.

Have a good day all....I have some cleaning to do.

[MHL]

So today I close the chapter on the past in my life and start a new one. It will surely hold many new things, but it will be strange new world for me to investigate.

Sorry, I have been MIA on the boards lately.....this really resonated with me Lost. It is strange and different but it is good......good for you and otherthan your kids it is the only thing that matters. Your story as mine and anyone elses is unwritten. We do not know what may come next.

I truly hope that my STBXW will figure out her problems for herself. Your wife too needs to figure it all out on her own.....could be it is starting now. I am not telling you to hold out for her but rather have compassion for her, it is not hard......the feelings are right there below the srface.

Cheers

[Lostforwords]

Ever have one of those life perspective reality check events happen in your life? Things like hitting black ice on the highway while driving 70.....a child disappearing in the mall....events that really make you say....have I been living the life I want....am I happy....am I loved...will I be missed....all in a flash of a second. Well I had one last night

As most of you know....I work four different jobs trying vainly to keep a roof over my head. One job is that I am a bouncer...which for the most part is a very boring job. Occasionally I break up a fight....toss somebody out...etc, but for the most part just sit and watch people all night.

Well last night wasn't boring.....more perspective changing. Last night I was asked by a female patron to be escorted to her car. Her boyfriend was threatening her and she wanted to leave. So I did my job and escorted her from the bar with the BF walking behind me...pleasantly reminding me repeatedly what he was going to do to me. As she walked out the front door (at the end of a hallway) I turned around in front of the door to slow him down so she could get to his car. He told me to get out of the way....then pulled a knife....just him and me in this small hallway and in a blink of an eye....he tried to stab me. I partially blocked his swing (his hand hit me and the knife got caught up in my shirt) and proceeded to subdue him....and while it was handled and I wasn't hurt, I came within a half inch of getting it.

Then to help remind how really close to getting it I was....as he was arrested, the police officers pulled his records and discovered he had been released from jail 5 months ago....for murder. This guy wasn't just some wanton knife puller....he had done this one before.

One of those events that really made me think about what I have been doing with my life!!

[seeking answers]

Lost,

Well, that's a little more excitement than I want to encounter! Thank God you're OK. Someone else better be thanking God for you, too. You realize you saved that woman's life last night, don't you? I hope she realizes that too, and stays away from the guy. Sounds like there will be a forced separation at least. They'd better think twice about letting him go again.

Yep, I agree that this incidence could be a real perspective changer.

[Lostforwords]

Well after a pleasurable 8 days with my kids alone....today I got the pleasure to watch my family leave to go spend the weekend with the OM and his family.

At least I have a lot of work to catch up....an infected leg to heal....and late work...so my mind should be busy.