CW- Reading about sitches like how your brother wanted the D so badly that he quickly took action adds to the confusion of why our spouses didn't take hasty action. They are with another woman, so clearly they should want out, what the??? Sometimes maybe they can't afford to file but where there is a will, there is a way.
I know I am being rhetorical but I had to say something! Have you thought about it, too? Like how your H didn't push the D through once he filed?
How are your Thanksgiving plans this year and how are you feeling about it?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
damn edit button--OF COURSE you have thought about how your H didn't push the D through! What I meant was how your Brother pushed it through so quickly compared to your h?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I wonder all the time why my H filed right away and then nothing...maybe he thought I'd do the work? Who knows...I do believe that if he had not had a new L take over his case, he wouldn't have even gone gotten the property agrrement going yet...
I think the difference between my brother's sitch and mine is that my brother's M has been stagnant for a long time, they lived like roomates and didn't have any communication at all even over simple things...her texting his friend was the final straw...when they talked, he listed all the things that would have to change and she said she didn't think she could change and didn't believe that he would so he filed...I also think it was a pride thing...he felt she was making a fool out of him by doing that behind his back!
In my sitch, if it had been ME that was having an A, I think H would have D'd me right away...
Thanksgiving...gonna be small. My other brother offered to host this year. It will just be me and the kids for dinner and then SS and his family will drop by for dessert.
I have to admit a "morbid curiosity" as to what H will be doing on that day! Unless things have changed with OW's family, I don't think he will be welcome there!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I have a thought about the slow filing and foot dragging that a lot of the MLCers do.
It seems like A LOT of these guys (and gals) have some heavy passive agressive behaviors that go back to long before bomb drop. In my own H's case, he likes to be the 'good guy' and wants to be seen as the victim. I think it is also why they spend so much time building a case against the LBS before they drop that bomb.
Finally got internet fixed yesterday! Needed a new modem!
Thanksgiving went well! SS and Dil and kids stopped by my brother's house for dessert! Funny that SS chose to come by my brother's rather than spend time at either one of his parents!
I was home when H picked up the kids on Sat. I busied myself cleaning my bedroom and didn't know he had arrived. Heard commotion and thought the dogs were coming upstairs so I walked to the door and about bumped into H. Apparenlty D12 took it upon herself to tell him that we needed to talk about xmas.
It felt weird talking to him in our old room. I kinda tried to "herd" him downstairs and get them on their way...H chatted up a storm and was even gracious enough to share that he almost cut the tip of his thumb off and later mentioned that he was going for a colonoscopy and that I should do whatever I needed to do since the deductible had been met this year and while I still had benefits...wasn't that nice of him?
They finally left! I remember not so long ago how bothered I was that he wouldn't stay for more than 5mins and now I am wanting him to go!!!!
His sister was in town and took the kids and I to lunch on Sunday. She had called H and asked if he'd stop by SS's with the kids on his way to bring them home so she could see them and he said yes and then told the kids he wasn't going to! So, she came to my house and we went out. She told me she thought that he was afraid to see her cause he went to their Uncle's funeral without her. (told her he might not be able to get off work and then took OW with him instead).
This is family that he has not seen for years. They had no idea that we were getting a D until his cousin called here looking for him.
The kids and I put out the xmas deco and put the tree up...thinking I will look for a new tree topper...an angel maybe...was remembering last year wondering if that was the last xmas we would spend together as a family....
Got home tonight to a message from my L to call her! It is never good when she calls! Wonder what is going on now?
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
CW - Glad you solved your internet issues, nice to have you back.
Your H is still happily in replay as far as I can see. Was his behavior towards you the same or friendlier then usual...chatting up a storm and sharing about his colonoscopy?
Hope that the news from the lawyer is not going to upset you...whatever it is.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Welcome back!!!!! I was about to come looking for you! Good news about the paid up deductible on your medical insurance. Hopefully, you can schedule any tests (if you need any) that you might want before January 1st.
Nice of SIL to come visit. She must be frustrated with H too.
