Thanks FM, but I didn't see where I mentioned my family can't be there for me...? what did you mean?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
my family is made of bonafide flakes...I am constantly let down by their lack of follow through so I don't even bother asking them for help for anything whatsoever.
sorry if I misunderstood newmama...it was based on the above.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Oh! I am such a dork--I was thinking that you were referring to the trigger moment, but yes, yes you are correct,unfortunately.
Thank you for clarifying
I am spending a lot of time thinking of how the present will shape S' future relationships. Since I can't undo the past I can only give him a loving mother and the best opportunity to connect with his dad. Something in me is thinking that when people have a good relationship with each of their parents, divorced or not, they will have more potential for happiness in life.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I agree, NM. I made a decision that I can be sad about our kids 'losing' their family unit (and I still am sad, from time to time), but it is more productive to put my energy into making sure my kids have the best time growing up they can given the life they have now.
And that also means keeping the best relationship I can manage to keep with their dad so we can do the coparenting thing and give them some 'family' experiences from time to time.
I am spending a lot of time thinking of how the present will shape S' future relationships. Since I can't undo the past I can only give him a loving mother and the best opportunity to connect with his dad. Something in me is thinking that when people have a good relationship with each of their parents, divorced or not, they will have more potential for happiness in life.
Totally agree. Trying to do the same.
Missed your account of Thanksgiving, but will go read it in a sec!
Your thksgvg story-- sounds like you cried because you were sorry/grieving for your pained former self! I look back to February and feel bad for myself, too. I went through hell, as we all did. So THANKFUL that's over, too!
Millionaire Matchmaker-- gotta love it! I missed this week, but thought last week was hilarious with those two millionairesses... oh, I've got TimeWarner On Demand, so I'm watching the new MM now. Ha!
And that also means keeping the best relationship I can manage to keep with their dad so we can do the coparenting thing and give them some 'family' experiences from time to time.
The research seems to show that most of the documented impacts of divorce on children can be prevented by harmonious coparenting Rs. It seems that it's the conflict between the parents that ends up causing most of the damage in the long run. So that is good news for us...there IS hope for minimizing the impact of divorce on our children and the past research isn't necessarily that relevant for those of us whose children have involved fathers with whom we can collaborate with
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Gatsby, hi! I think now I was crying due to a trigger to something in my subconscious that caused me to remember the pain of being rejected and scared and alone. (the pain that exH was inflicting)
Glad to hear you watch MM too! Yeah, I watched the show with the 2 millionairesses. I could not BELIEVE that one brought her best friend-gay make up artist ON THE DATE!
FM and BJ- Yep, we will be good moms for not bashing exH in front of our kids and being polite to him when we exchange the kids. But do not ever think for a second that our kids will be unscathed because that is just not a reality. However, as long as we can do our part to be really good, stable moms who don't introduce them to all of our dates and boyfriends, we can give them the same mom they would get even if we were still married....right?
Well last night I had a fun time and sang Love Shack with another single mama from the group. I had some prospets but no one major...I blame my outfit! Just kidding. It wasn't the best but the new clothes I got look too "business" like for going out. We did go to a dance club to dance afterward. One of the men came along but he was the one who looked like my music teacher so I couldn't be attracted to him--but he was a good dancer!
I think I have gained some weight as well but am avoiding the scale until next week. It could be 5-7 pounds but I will just say to myself "I will continue to lose weight" (that is what I have been doing this whole time--saying that and it works!) and do my modified eating thing I do.
Of course, working out makes it even easier to lose weight. What is my procrastination problem? My gut (har har) tells me it has something to do with the time. "I will find the time to work out" "I will continue to lose weight"
oK I am nodding off but had more stuff to share. It is 8--even though I got6 hours of sleep last night, guess it wasn't enough!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
