In the process

[newmama]

The problem with these dating sites for me is, they have to be physically attractive, because their personality can't capture me first. Very shallow sounding, I know

.

NOT at all! I tried doing that in the past, thinking the attraction would grow but NO it didn't. I even tried that out since this round of dating but, nope, I am the same way!

ANd something about me attracts the overweight not so healthy looking guys I am not attracted too....

Hey, many of the men that wink at me are overweight or slobby or not attractive. I am wondering if being a single mom is scaring others away?

I am not that hot, so I guess i can't expect much better, but jesus, just look like you take care of yourself a little! I am by no means thin, but I take care of my self with exercise....

SHUT UP, GM! You ARE beautiful and sexy! Honestly! Remember what your guy friends have told you!

Yeah, the OK cupid seems like Plenty of Fish in the sense that it is about booty calls. Seriously- not too impressed so far.

BUt I am still going to keep "fishing" and just have a profile up on both Cupid and Match because if you don't "buy a ticket" then how can you win the lottery? You know?

I think my new profile might be too boring sounding. I am getting way less attention than when I changed it last.

[flowmom]

Hey, many of the men that wink at me are overweight or slobby or not attractive. I am wondering if being a single mom is scaring others away?

No, you and GM are looking at this the wrong way. Online dating sites are going to have a LOT of less desirable men who have been unsuccessful IRL. And they will approach desirable women because they want to win the lottery Don't take it personally.

Being a single mom...yes I think that is a turn-off to many men. Just a fact of life unfortunately.

[newmama]

So exH and I checked out the daycare close to my work. My first impression, walking in, was "scummy." Is that snobby or what?
Sure, there were plenty of rough looking parents walking their kids in and out. The place seemed drab, too!

The thing was it was a lot bigger than the current place, and S immediately dove into the toys and started playing. They had a "lesson plan" on the wall for the month. Each day had a theme. The paper was scraggly and the themes were written in. The toys were all old, too.

There were a mix of English speaking workers who looked very yound and some bi-lingual workers (again, I am not knocking English Language Learners, but I do want to be confident that the workers understand me and I can understand them).

It was 200 more per month, too! They had a daily report like the current place, and diaper changing procedures and meals were the same, too.

The frustrating thing was that both exH and I (as in the past) had the same impression. We walked out and 100% agreed on all of the same points- he brought his up and it was like he read my mind. Damn him! Stupid Idiot Asshat! (Asshat makes me think of Office Space, haha!)

Also, we operated the same. I do all of the talking and social connecting and then he pays very close attention to all of the details. A system that has worked well for us in the past.

At least it made both of us realize that the current place isn't horrific- I mean it is small, there are language barriers, and it did have an E.Coli outbreak(no matter how mild the strain and the health department didn't shut it down) But we will continue looking.

[ImprovedRomeo]

NM, sorry haven't been keeping up with your thread but good to see you're in good company here. Sorry to hear about grandma.

It's SO important to feel comfortable with kids' daycare and school or you not only won't have the peace of mind when you're at work. You will question your decision over and over. It's worth it to pay extra or drive a few miles out of the way to get that peace of mind. Glad you guys can work together and co-parent. It's sort of the same with STBXW and I, when it comes to DD we eventually work things out in favor of DD.

Online dating stuff...sounds like I'll have to come to you for advice when I'm ready

[flowmom]

I agree that feeling comfortable with childcare is essential. Trust your gut! Like me, you're lucky to have a good coparenting relationship.

[gatsby11]

Hey!

New daycare, hmm? I like reading your descriptions (so i can contrast it to mine!). Hope you guys find a good one.

okcupid is rather... hookup-ey... but i think there are a few gems there! i hope!

[newmama]

speaking of okcupid-I met a documentarist (just made that word up) a couple of days ago. He is working on a documentary about the homeless. He lives in AZ but is moving to my area in 2 weeks.

Had fun, witty, intelligent IM chats. I was intrigued. Tonight I feel like I was living in Pearl Harbor when the US attacked:
BOMB
BOMB
BOMB
BOMB
something like "I am in a bad mood tonight" (from him) to somehow ( I don't know how) I find out:

*he is a recovering addict for 4 years now but still smokes pot occasionally and drinks a beer every now and then

*he was homeless for awhile

*he was paralyzed in his hands and feet from a car accident 7 years ago but has regained most of his feeling/sensation

*he has two kids, 14 and 30 months that he is not allowed to see

*his ex filed a "bogus" restraining order but he left the state and never contested it so he lost access/rights to see his kids until they are 18 (I SMELL A PILE OF ROTTING FISH WITH THIS STORY!)

Oh, but "it is what it is" and he has dealt with it. (poor him- oh wait, his kids might be suffering too!)

Gee could I be leaving something out? His is 35 and his longest relationship has been 8-10 months (2 of them).

the sucky thing is that he is a "Taurus" and I have always wanted to go out with a Taurus! Damn....

[Mystik]

Yikes, I'd run fast NM. That guy sounds like trouble.

[v1olin]

the sucky thing is that he is a "Taurus" and I have always wanted to go out with a Taurus! Damn....

We Taurus are freaking cool! Well...maybe not this documentarist guy! lol

[sandycay]

Whoa, he must have been high to share all that. Sounds like a winner! Not!