Saw things clearer once you're in my rearviewmiror

[newmama]

Oh, I see your point! Well then, you are in SoCal, so doesn't that mean there are tons of towns and cities nearby?

But don't forget that QUALITY TIME doing what SHE wants to do is awesome in her eyes! No matter what you are doing.

I don't know how the weather is for camping for you guys down there....

If S was older and I wanted to go out of town, I would take him to the beach and stay in hotel, then check out the nearby activities/mini golf/restaurants/museums in that town. We could do some major storm watching- I am sure he would love to watch the waves slam up against 101 and crash onto the street!

[soleil]

IR, get on Travelocity and find out some good deals leaving from your area. Go some place new, a place you wouldn't even normally think of going.

How is your new girlfriend, err bike...

[ImprovedRomeo]

Thanks NM, Sol- just wanted to do something semi-local I'll figure something out.

Sol, if the bike could do a couple of more things I think it would be a perfect girlfriend It doesn't give me sh*t about anything, no drama and always ready to please

OK so Thu is a holiday at DD's school and so STBXW emailed me suggesting DD could go to the daycare at xyz place. I responded, albiet a few days later, saying if she doesn't want to keep her maybe I'll have my neighbor watch her since DD enjoys playing with her kids or I could bring her to work or bring her to the said xyz place. I did't hear back from her until DD was in bed tonight. She called me while driving to find out what I was doing and then says she can keep DD tomorrow too. Surprised I asked if she was off tomorrow and she said yes...well ok then why didn't she offer that in the first place? I didn't ask but I should've. So while DD's half asleep we're trying to figure it out and then of course DD overheard the conversation so she said she wanted to go to the xyz place and with mommy. OK not a big deal, so I tell STBXW that she can meet me tomorrow morning at 7am to pick DD up and then bring her to the xyz place in the afternoon and I'll pick her up from there after work.

Then a couple of weeks ago I'd asked her if she wanted to keep DD on Thanksgiving since we'd been alternating the holidays. She just reminded me that it was my week to keep DD but she can keep her if I wanted her to. Umm no- so I cancelled my plans to be out of town. Tonight she wanted to know what I meant by us alternating the holidays and if I still wanted her to keep DD and if so which days. I told her what I meant by alternating holidays- come on like she didn't know? So she said 'what days do you want me to keep her?' I said 'well all that could've been figured out but since you said it was my week I'm keeping her now'.

Funny, she said 'where do you want to meet tomorrow morning to exchange DD at 7am?'. I said 'well I don't know where you'll be coming from but it'd be easier for me if I met you at xyz place'. Her tone became defensive 'from home obviously...that's fine I can meet you at xyz'. LOL

[whatisis]

Thanks NM, Sol- just wanted to do something semi-local I'll figure something out.

Sol, if the bike could do a couple of more things I think it would be a perfect girlfriend It doesn't give me sh*t about anything, no drama and always ready to please

That sounds like my Turtle...even when I forget to feed him he doesn't give a sh!t. If I forget to turn on his basking lite he just gets up on his bridge and pretends it's on...is that not perfect or what! (Either that or his brain is the size of a small pebble but hey...who knows. Maybe he's just incredbily intelligent because he just acts as if until it is...brilliant DBer, my Turtle). Sometimes he goes dark on me early in the evening when he goes into his little margarine container house I made for him and ignores me.

Anyway, I just wanted to take a minute to say how wonderful it is to see the way you are progressing through this thing Romeo. You've come a long way, baby! It's great to see how you're taking care of you and, at the same time, taking care of others on this BB. Vroom Vroom, the open highway lays ahead for you, my friend.

[soleil]

Funny, she said 'where do you want to meet tomorrow morning to exchange DD at 7am?'. I said 'well I don't know where you'll be coming from but it'd be easier for me if I met you at xyz place'. Her tone became defensive 'from home obviously...that's fine I can meet you at xyz'. LOL

LOL indeed. Glad to hear you just let it roll off your back. Also happy to hear your new girlfriend is a gem!

That sounds like my Turtle...even when I forget to feed him he doesn't give a sh!t. If I forget to turn on his basking lite he just gets up on his bridge and pretends it's on...is that not perfect or what!...brilliant DBer, my Turtle).

Your turtle sounds awesome, Wii!

[kat727]

Sounds as if you are doing well. Your bike may be helping you with that. I hope Thanksgiving works out for you. I always hate having to do that to the kids but I remember when I was flying all the time, we just celebrated as near the holiday as possible. It's the thought that counts.

kat

[ImprovedRomeo]

Awww wii it's the only nice thing you've ever said to me in all these years- must be your cold But seriously, thanks! I have definitely improved but I continue to clean out my closet...who knew there was so much crap in here- hey how come we didn't divide this sh*t up in our divorce settlement, I'd better call my damn L But looking back I think the fourt things that helped me were (hopefully this might help others here):

1. Getting out of the victim mode. Yes I was done horribly wrong but how long will I continue to be a victim? feel sorry for myself or want people to feel sorry for what I went through? Yes it was absolutely horrendous but feeling bad for myself is only productive for so long after that it wasn't changing a damn thing. I was treading water. My dad is very compassionate yet a man made of steel and I always looked up to him for that. I want my DD to see me as a strong man. I have to show her that you can bounce back from even the most difficult times in your life. Life is tough but it's tougher when you don't stand up to it.

2. Not being a martyr. This isn't a Hollywood story. If I did I would give STBXW way too much power over me. No one, especially one that hurt me will ever get the privilege to control my destiny.

3. Realization that I'm not a perfect person, husband, dad or a friend but I'm complete and whole and I will always try to be the best I can be. I will make mistakes but I will learn from them and try again. I will extend the same courtesy to others. I'm compassionate, loving and caring to those who treat me with mutual respect and love.

4. Laughter. It has amazing healing powers.

I'm persistent and hard headed- once I decide on something I will almost always attain it. When STBXW left me last time I was hell bent on winning her back, I was persistent, I didn't listen or care what anyone including her said. I even told her during our separation when she wanted nothing to do with me 'you know me when I want something I always get it'. And I did. This time...no more. I've realized she can't give me what I want i.e. trust and honesty. I'm not the one to give up on people I love but when people give up on me so easily it's time I moved on.

I try to help others here just as others helped me in my time of need. I'm just paying it forward. However, I know from my own experience that you can't make anyone get somewhere until they do on their own. I could turn blue talking (and sometimes I do like right now lol) but it won't do any good to those who are just not there yet. But they will get there sooner or later and that's when my words may make some sense. I know because I was in their shoes for a long time.

[whatisis]

Amazing stuff, Romeo. It will help many DBers who read it...of course, it did nothing for me cuz I like things written in picture form on buffalo skins...but that's just me.

[OldFool]

Go back and read your first dozen or so posts. You've come a long way!

Do you remember me saying there was a valley you'd have to walk through and there was no shortcut, but one day you would emerge? Well, it looks like you have. That doesn't mean it's all a bed of roses on the other end, but it's proof you can survive (even when you think you won't).

[luvless]

I'm really loving this last post Romeo.

I screamed to me that I need to make a change. I've been treading water and I need to swim.

Thanks for the inspiration.

Luv