Thanks Pin. I know what the odds are. I have been fully prepared. Nothing can shake my faith and resolve. You should have seen her face when I firmly said that I am fighting for my family with or without her.
The fear was gushing out of her ears. I was very calm.
The OM situation is not what it seems. I will have to think this through.
I was thinking (before Robx post) to text him and ask if he liked the dinner and if he would mind if I asked his W out.
I have to be a bit careful. It's all the same industry we are in. My own reputation can be at stake too.
Cucci, I have always valued your opinion despite what you may think. I stuck around and learned a lot and when I move out the dogs will come with me. If that is what it takes to keep my family intact.
Thanks Pin. I know what the odds are. I have been fully prepared. Nothing can shake my faith and resolve. You should have seen her face when I firmly said that I am fighting for my family with or without her.
The fear was gushing out of her ears. I was very calm.
The OM situation is not what it seems. I will have to think this through.
I was thinking (before Robx post) to text him and ask if he liked the dinner and if he would mind if I asked his W out.
I have to be a bit careful. It's all the same industry we are in. My own reputation can be at stake too.
Cucci, I have always valued your opinion despite what you may think. I stuck around and learned a lot and when I move out the dogs will come with me. If that is what it takes to keep my family intact.
Interesting, this talk of reputations, you, your wife, and this fantastic Mr.Z are in the same "industry" (I hope you guys aren't selling manure), yet 2 out of the 3 of you aren't so worried about "reputations" considering they are going out on dates in public. Me thinks you are afraid to pull the trigger on this one and it's that same fear which has paralyzed in most of these situations to date.
Text him, ask him how he enjoyed dinner with your wife, see what his response is. Ask him if his wife knows that he's been taking your wife out to dinner and then ask him what restaurants his wife likes to eat at ;-)
If he's willing to risk his reputation and you aren't, it seems to me that this may be part of the allure and attraction between the two of them, maybe your wife likes the fact that he's risky that way.
W went out of her way with dinner last night. I got a "good night" and "have a nice day" this morning.
This situation is irritating me now. I am going to start looking for a place to live and hold off with the Mr. Z issue for a day or two.
I want to see if there is any follow up between them. I have her bugged like a Soviet embassy. If there is any chatter, I will know about it.
That's why it took me by surprise. There has not been any chatter with them before and even before this event. No personal e-mails, texts or calls. All e-mails were business and all 3 of them are working on a same big project.
I just think I need to get out. I feel awful leaving my pets.
Pookie, I know you feel bad about the pets, but the sanity you will gain from having your own space is priceless. I couldn't imaging having the constant bombardment of being in that kind if pressure cooker everyday. I think if you decide to get your own place the change of perception for you will prove to be very valuable.
Now that many vets are gone I’m not sure how much help is left here. I will update my sitch because it took a turn to the worse.
I a light of what happened over the weekend with Mr. Z, I decided to put a foot down. Although Monday W was home early, very nice and chatty and took me out to dinner, I was not going to just let this “date” thing go. I was all smiles Monday, we had good time, talked about holiday season and what to get each other for Christmas.
Tuesday.
W texted around 5 to tell me that she is going to happy hour with coworkers. This has never been an issue. Tuesdays are their staff meeting and often they go for a quick drink. However I was still annoyed by Saturday events and did not answer the text.
An hour later when I got home she called. First my cell and then the land line. I did not pick up. Then minutes later she texted again and this what went down from that point.
W: Please call me. Me: Is something wrong? W: No. Are you home. Me: You are not? What do you need? W: Nothing. Got it. Me: Good, then go check your email.
I had just finished a short and to the point e-mail and sent it to her. I said “I am not your dog sitter, housekeeper, maid, and extra wallet and your number 2 choice for companionship. You have no shame to text me in anticipation that I will do anything you ask while you carry on with your affairs with married men. I am feeding you cake by the truckload. You surround yourself with people who have no respect, honor or dignity. You have became one of them. How sad is that.”
At that point I left the house and went to eat out. While waiting for my meal she started texting again.
W: Read your email. Maybe if you’d leave or buy the house and stop holding me hostage I could be more clear to you. Now, if I’m nice I’m confusing you and if I’m not I am a b**ch. Me: You have been free as a bird and obviously living as such. You’ve had no obligations or responsibilities. Start behaving like an adult so I can spend my evenings shopping for a new home. I can’t wait to move out and take Mrs. Z for dinner. BTW I am not home so you should think about your duties. W: So, psycho boy, you have a serious problem in your own head. You want to add more men to your list? (She listed some guys from her office) This has nothing to do with them. Me: I won’t waste my time debating semantics of your morality. Your actions speak louder than your words. Have a nice evening. W: You don’t know my actions and they have nothing to do with you. I did not reply. W: Actually they do. They confirm that I don’t want to be with you. I presume you are not coming home. The dogs are fine, I’m home. I did not reply. W: You really think that I’m doing something wrong and it’s directed at you. She was all over the place so I replied. Me: Don’t try to read my mind or pretend to know how I think. My feelings and thoughts are mine just as your feelings and thoughts are yours. You can spin yours any way you want. W: No presumptions in my text. Really??? I decided to end all communication. 20 minutes later W: We’re are not friends.
Whatever. I let her keep steaming and decided to sleep at the hotel.
I have to move out, but I do have faith to continue DB.
Such a bad timing now that a lot of vets are gone.
Gucci - you can hit me with “told you so” but I still need some direction even when the immediate action is known.
Pookie, while I'm no means an expert it seems to me you know the path you need to take now. It seems to me like she has heard enough of what you think about her actions and now she is going to have to see you do something about it. The communication back and forth with her only expressed how you felt verbally. She might never change, but the path you seem to be on doesn't seem like it's yielding the results you want.
Pookie, while I'm no means an expert it seems to me you know the path you need to take now. It seems to me like she has heard enough of what you think about her actions and now she is going to have to see you do something about it. The communication back and forth with her only expressed how you felt verbally. She might never change, but the path you seem to be on doesn't seem like it's yielding the results you want.
