GW. THank you~! I know you are right. NO more falling back into trying and explaining and working it out. I don't know why I get into feeling it is so important for him to hear me and validate me. I guess I felt maybe I could give it one more try to negotiate out of court. WRONG. Back to NC. NO more giving him chances out of fear. No more allowing myself to be bullied and blamed. No more trying to be heard and respected. NC. You're right it is to protect myself and to protect my son. Thank you so much for the validation and support. This is what I needed today. I'm going to speak with the L again in a few minutes so we'll keep moving forward.
Had a good meeting w L. Don't want to share in case H has found this site - but there is much to hope for.
H is going to flip his lid but hey at this point it can only work in my favor as him demonstrating his true colors to the court.
I'm ready to start really moving on with my life. I am ready to really let go. God give me the strength to follow through. I am ready to stop putting myself in harm's way in the R and protect S and I emotionally. Someday I pray to experience what a real, loving M is like.
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
You can do this hun! I know you feel the need to explain and hope he will understand but he wont he is just playing you again to get his own way... Ask yourself WHY, AND WHY NOW AND WHATS HAPPENING HIM TO MAKE HIM SUDDENLY WANT TO NEGOTIATE..
Stand firm and protect S remind yourself that its him you are doing this for not you.. you and S are so worth it.. hope L is coming up trumps for you xx
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Thanks friends. After attending a "parenting after divorce" class tonight I"m on the downside of the rollercoaster again. BAsically there's no getting around it - divorce traumatizes children for life.
And I just worry that the NC makes it even more stressful for S. I know that having parents who argue and are stressed is no good for him. HOwever, it's also depressing for them when parents don't talk at all and the little child's life is suddenly ripped apart and divided between two loyalties. I cannot express my proufound resentment and anger at H for putting S through this.
Besides that, mediation is first thing friday morning and I'm very scared. But, onward and upward!!!Any prayers for my S most welcome. (())
Although my H left me, the other night he literally said I LEFT HIM. Now how did that work? Also, when he filed his motion for 50% custody of S6 (which sadly in my state he may get, especially being the narcissistic liar he is and his ability to charm coerce)and then tried to "negotiate" with me the other night, H said "I gave him no choice but to file his motion" which was full of lies about how I ABUSED HIM. How did that work again?
Pray for me and S. Let go, let God, and RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!
One day at a time, one hour at a time. More critical than ever before for you. Your STBXH is trying to push your buttons with his comments...don't let him succeed
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
I just want to publicly put this in writing...my H was served today with my motion to modify custody and alimony and there's quite a few things in there about his anger and manipulation as well. To protect myself and S I took S to the beach after school. When I returned home, my three trash bins, originally left by the curb, were half way up my driveway and two were turned over. I must say my gut tells me H came over in a rage ... luckily I was not here. I do not know for sure, but I'm glad S wasn't here to find out.
Sad part is, I had to drop S off at H's apt. for his "overnight". Scary stuff. It's taken me two hours to calm down. I'm better now, my parents are coming over here so I am not alone.
Survived mediation. Have no idea how I did since I requested separate mediation. My lawyer tried to fax my motion to adam's lawyer who apparently didn't have a fax???? so it was mailed and received today??? I am very worried about this. I hope it does not negatively impact me.
Besides that I'm all shaken up and scared that my H will get 50% custody. I did my best to describe his anger problems but who knows what the court will say. Panic attacks are back. Luckily a very good friend came over out of the blue with her daughter and hung out with me.
