Then again, he IS an engineer, he could just be clueless in that way they often are, lol.
Hey! I resemble that remark!
An extra band practice sounds fun! I am trying to convince the guys I am attempting to sing with that we should put in a little effort after the first of the year, and do a friends and family barbecue. We shall see if my prodding succeeds. At least one of the guys seems for it.
I wanted to comment on the dating lots of guys. That's kind of what one of the women I was dating was doing. I messed up her plan, to a degree. But then I guess another guy messed it up more, since she decided to go that direction. But, in a moment of rationality, I realized that's kind of the point of dating. We aren't looking for someone that we have to convince to like us, are we? And we don't want to have to be convinced to like them. They doesn't mean we don't enjoy a bit of pursuit and pursuing, but I think that's just part of the fun.
I have two dates this weekend! Imagine that!
The first is tomorrow at lunchtime, with the woman (P-46) with my favorite profile so far. She lives about an hour away, so it won't be exactly convenient if it goes further, but it isn't impossible, either.
The second will be a third date with L-55. We seem to have good conversations, but not even a hug after either of the first two. I didn't want to force it, but I made sure I allowed a reasonable opportunity on the second date. I think the third date will be telling, as far as figuring out the attraction on both sides.
And, might I say, it's good to be off of probation!
Ummmm....isn't the GUY supposed to initiate the hug (or kiss or whatever???)
I don't know! It's a fine line, right? Between pushing too hard, and getting it just right.
There have been three first date kisses.
The first I thought was a hug.... well, she had other ideas.
The second was one of those that I think was surprising to both of us. Sitting on a sofa in a nice lounge/bar, just talking, arm around her shoulder, looked at her, and..... It actually might have been a good thing we were in a public place. Mucho chemistry, no question. (That was the woman that had the plan to date lots of guys.)
The third one was after an after dinner walk (hand in hand) around the mall. I think I initiated that, but it seemed reasonable after the hand holding.
So it's not like I avoid it. It's hard to reconstruct for sure, but I would say that as I got close enough for a hug, she got in her car. But it's also possible I read it all wrong. We are planning on dinner and a movie Sunday, so I think I should know a lot more after that.
Well..... One the second date with the woman with the Chemistry, she told me some rather interesting details about activities at the nearby miniature golf course, in here younger days. At the same time saying that such activities had to wait a while, since once they started, there would be no more talking!
So, after dinner, we got to the parking lot, and I thought there might be activities right there next to the car!
I think that when there is that chemistry there, it's pretty hard to ignore. Which makes me think it really isn't there with Sunday's date. Or, she is a bit reluctant to show it, which is certainly a possibility.
kml...if you wanted something serious with the guy, you know that you wouldn't have made out with him! It sounds like you were looking (are looking) for a fling so making out in the parking lot is allowed with that kind of relationship.
Well I must say this...in hindsight, the guys I have dated since June- the ones who are "into" me contact me the very next day or the same night! One of the guys waited a few days and I wasn't into him but he was also dating multiple people and just told me. I told him the same. So he still made the effort a few days later. Zoobrew was hot and cold and that seemed to match his comfort level. Meaning he admitted to being confused about what he wanted and his pattern of communication matched that.
SO I am thinking that when they are "into" us, they contact us pronto!
Guys, I feel for you because women are told to not pursue and not come on too strong. So you do have to be the ones to initiate the contact and see how we reply.
If you don't think that's fair, well heck--we don't think it's fair that we have to be the ones to give birth! (lol)
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
But, WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING FOR THESE MEN WHO ARE JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU????
I don't know your patterns, but if this is your pattern then please look at it carefully. After being rejected by my STBXH for years, I figure I deserve to be with a guy who is willing to pursue me. I dated a guy who became increasingly distant and it was awful. Fortunately he ended it pretty quickly, but I should have first. I deserve better. Now I'm with a guy who's totally into me, and who wants to be my boyfriend . It's LOVELY to be mostly free of that anxiety that I associate with a lot of courtship situations that I've been in. All you have to do is REJECT all the flaky, unavailable, not-that-into-you guys and make room for a decent one who thinks you're the bees' knees.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Man, now I feel like a total slut for kissing in the parking lot for five minutes with that guy. I'm obviously way too easy!!!!
I guess I'll be the dissenting voice here. I'm a "choosy floozy" or a "fussy hussy". It's a rare guy who I'll feel the chemistry with, but when I do it's hard to hold back when it's mutual. Sometimes I feel like I should be a good girl and "take things slow" etc. But realistically I am a passionate woman, and I like to be with passionate men. So it's not surprising that things go in that direction sometimes. Things got pretty passionate with my current boyfriend by the second date (not intercourse, just teenager-like messing around on the beach)...but that didn't stop him wanting to be with me and waiting while I dated the other guy exclusively for a month.
I'm not advocating first night kissing or nookie or anything else. But I guess I'm not a "rules" girl. I believe a lot of stuff in the "why men love bitches" book, but I adapt it
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
SO I am thinking that when they are "into" us, they contact us pronto!
When a guy has been really into me, not only has he contacted me, but I haven't had to read his mind about his desire to continue seeing me.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Flowmom, I think you have it about right. And it lines up with what I've seen. When the chemisty is there, things move along.
We decided our first date had to count for at least two, since we would't have kissed the way we were kissing on a first date. Or course, we sat and talked for four hours, so it was long enough for two dates!
You want to knwo the funny part? Physically she wasn't what I think of as my "type". But that didn't seem very relevant. Whatever it is, it was definitely there.
