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pinhead #2101582 11/05/10 03:41 PM
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Pin,


I admit I have not read all of your sitch since I had been consumed with mine earlier on and I am now sort of detaching from this site some, but this is my .02.

I know you run as well as write, but what have you done differently GAL and 180's that you didn't do prior to you sitch? Does your W have her own career and have the opportunity to self actualize?

Your W has the responsbility of being a mother as well as a W, which puts a lot of pressure on her and IMO the spouse begins to loose herslef/himself. It also happens to men as well and so I think often times this is the beginning of a WAS in rebelling the "life closing in on me" feeling. Do you both have time to do an independent activity for personal growth? Pin I know you run and write what does your W do? Maybe your W needs to GAL?

The reason why I ask is because in reading your posts I see "family game night" "friday takeout night", etc and it seems rather structured and maybe it feels too confining to her. IDK, however I do know that we only get one side of the story with regard to these posts and I am a firm believer that both sides contribute to the good and bad of a M.

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Hi HIH,

My wife has her own career in retail, but she's boxed herself into a spot where it's hard to advance. She goes to book club once a month, and she does scrapbooking as a hobby. But she doesn't do much other than that. She started exercising some, but isn't very disciplined with it.

Our family life isn't really that structured. W and the girls used to have Movie Night on Friday's, that I usually skipped. I've started joining them. It's not a going out movie night, just DVDs.

W likes to have family dinners, so that's a bit structured. We plan our meals for the week ahead of time to save $$ on groceries.

My biggest 180s have been listening better, exercising, being more involved with our Ds, writing my novel, and church. I've also been reading a lot of stuff I normally wouldn't approach.

pinhead #2101588 11/05/10 03:51 PM
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Oh, and now dance lessons. Swing is fun.

pinhead #2101590 11/05/10 03:52 PM
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Oh, and I'm wondering if the timing of her phone call is related to Saturday being the day I had originally planned on moving out. Might be a last ditch attempt to get me to move tomorrow...

soleil #2101594 11/05/10 03:55 PM
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Stay strong Pin.
I never will understand the WAW who thinks it it the duty of the man to move out in order for them to be happy.
It is so selfish and cake eating.

My ex once told me, "why don't you man up and move out"., then several months later said "it was my choice to move out"
I just could not take it for my own mental health, so she DB'd me better than I did her.

Dane #2101663 11/05/10 05:04 PM
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Dane, you're in NE as well? I'm in the capitol...

pinhead #2101673 11/05/10 05:15 PM
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So dancing is fun so ask her out spontanously ... no planning just go out! I use to take my 1st W out to the local lake to watch the submarine races...they served great sandwiches there blush

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If she was speaking to me, sure I might ask her out. But we would need a babysitter, so it couldn't be spontaneous...

And NO MENTION OF SANDWICHES IN MY THREAD!

There. Got that out of my system.

pinhead #2101680 11/05/10 05:30 PM
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Okay Pin!

Then take your D's to the equestrian show on sat and leave your W and her emotional baggage home. Don't offer to take her let her groval on her own! Enjoy your life with your kids and stop walking on egg shells around her!

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I've been having a good week, despite her frosty freeze treatment. She can come to the show, I don't want to keep her from our girls. But I won't grovel.

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