What have we learned: it's NOT OK for men and women to form close emotional bonds with members of the opposite sex other then their spouse. It can permanently alter their lives and destroy their marriage.
Ato, yes she is going to counseling . Thanks for your input. I have been following you for the whole time as hope.
TH,
Yes. I am listening to you.
What have I learned? I learned that I lead by emotion and that is dangerous. I learned that I often didnt respect my wife and destroyed her self esteem. I am not owning her EA, that is hers to deal with and we will, but my CB led her to turn me off and tune in to another.
I learned I need to figure out to communicate. I need to really really work on that with her.
I learned that I should have enforced the boundry of no communication with members of the Opposite sex YEARS ago and should never have encouraged her PA 10 years ago.
I also learned I WONT share my wife with anyone.
and I learned this is more painful than anything I have ever faced.
M:42 W:39 S:9 M:20 T:25 D-bomb: 30 Sep 10 Wife changed her mind: 31 Oct 10 Working on it: 31 Oct 10
It is painful PB. My W is talking and talking and talking. Where as before I would shut her out after awhile because every thought that pops in her head seems to want to come out, I have been activly listening. she did say something last night that I did not respond to(old me) and she started to repeat and I turned to her and said "I'm sorry, I heard you I was just processing it" . I got a huge smile and than I repeated it to her. After alot of time really not "listening" you need to listen and process. I should have learned this after my 1st marriage!! LOL
What have I learned? I learned that I lead by emotion and that is dangerous. I learned that I often didnt respect my wife and destroyed her self esteem. I am not owning her EA, that is hers to deal with and we will, but my CB led her to turn me off and tune in to another.
I learned I need to figure out to communicate. I need to really really work on that with her.
I learned that I should have enforced the boundry of no communication with members of the Opposite sex YEARS ago and should never have encouraged her PA 10 years ago.
I also learned I WONT share my wife with anyone.
and I learned this is more painful than anything I have ever faced.
If you get some time to watch old movies, maybe try to find "Philadelphia Story" starring Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn?
Tracy Lord: Only for the moment, I'm not interested in myself. C. K. Dexter Haven: Not interested in yourself, Red, you're fascinated. You're far and away your favorite person in the world.
Tracy Lord: Only for the moment, I'm not interested in myself. C. K. Dexter Haven: Not interested in yourself, Red, you're fascinated. You're far and away your favorite person in the world.
The thing I like about that movie is the way Grant plays the role. Even when he's standing up to his ex-wife, he's having fun with it
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
