Just had a major argument with the wife on the phone!!
She asked me for money for the kids, I said I had none to give her as I wanted the kids 50% of the time I pay for my son's school meals and any clothes they needed I would get them.
She went mental!, telling me I cannot do that, how I forced her to move after I refused and how I cannot just sit there in a 5 bedroom house on my own giving her nothing.
I said I can, I have bills to pay, I could ask her for 50% of the mortgage which I'm not, so thats it, it was her decision to leave not mine and now she had to get on with it.
She started shouting down the phone, to which I said, I don't have to listen to this and said bye and put the phone down, she called back tried to be calm then lost it again and again I put the phone down.
She is now threatening court and all sorts, I've told her if she wants me to sell the house divorce me and force the sale, thats it, so she said "so you are not giving me anything", no I'm not.
She isn't happy, but you know what I feel much better to have my say over things, she has been running the show for long enough, well that stops now.
She started going on about the past, what I did wrong.
I agreed, but said that I wanted to work things out, you wanted me to leave, I didn't, so you did.
She then called me selfish, why for not walking away from my family, I think she is the selfish one, I'm not happy so I'm leaving and taking the kids with me.
What happens, happens, I'm not bothered anymore, I'm better rid of her, she was always money motivated!!!
Its a total joke, when she first went, it was "there's a list of the bills, can you pay some school dinner money" and that was it.
Now it's "I want money off you", for nothing specific, I will buy the kids anything they need, feed and look after them when they are with me, but obviously this is not enough now?
It must be to do with reality as set in, she has bills to pay, and its all on her. She keeps mentioning that I'm still living in the house, yes well I didn't leave!!, she is in a 3 bedroom house close to or home, my daughter said the other day that her bedroom is smaller than my en-suite!!!, I guess the dream is not as good as the reality?
She has changed her emotions totally, from wanting nothing off me, to wanting anything she can get, its not going to happen!
The holiday that I'm looking at to the Caribean has probably tipped her over the edge, I'm getting the kids some great presents, then going on holiday, while she will have to get on with the choices she has made for her and the children, and they are not good ones from were I'm sitting!!
So, do I keep playing hard ball and not let her get to me, YES!!!
I actually feel a certain amount of control, if she pushes for the house sale, so be it, sell it, fine, I will still have my kids, I will still have a good job I have worked hard for, and she will still be struggling by, but she "thinks" she will be happy!!!!!
I have the kids tonight, don't know if she will say anything when I pick them up, but I have heard nothing from her all day today.
Do I say something about the phone calls yesterday or say nothing until she does?
I expect she will have an attitude!!!
I'm not bothered anymore, this is the life she has chosen, but I get the feeling she doesn't like it much!!
The car crash might have brought home the fact she is alone now, funny how she contacted me about money the following day of the crash, it might have been just an excuse to contact me, she has never mentioned more money before now, I can bet she didn't expect the response she got anyway!!
Sounds like you've got a great attitude. Keep up the PMA. Remember, you will still have lows with then highs. Sometimes all it takes is seeing the WAS or they push some button.
I would say nothing and act as if life is awesome. You have great kids and you're loving life. Dont talk about the R or get trwpped into talking about it. Just be vague and dont get nailed down on anything. If she asks what's up, just say this has been a great week and take care..as you walk away.
She cant touch you.
You exactly right. She needs to feel the consequences of her decisions (on her own) to their fullest extent. She needs to know what life will be without you...on her own. The only thing she should be able to rely on is you being a good dad.
peace!
Formerly SGfan M:38 W:33 M:8 yrs T:10 yrs Bomb: Dec '08 Separated: 4/18/09 Divorce: 8/28/09 XW Affair began: April 08
Had a call from my wife today about the kids, etc I ended up asking about us!! I know i know!!! Anyway i told her i except its over, it hurts, i miss her, but i'm moving on and think a divorce would be best for us to move on, i accepted i made mistakes, but said i was more content alone, not happier yet! She seemed taken back, asked me how many people i had told, she hasn't thought about d yet, said she was more relaxed to be away from me no arguing, i agreed i was the same ! She mentioned money and i said that she had made a decision and now had to get on with it! She then made an excuse to go, i said fine and put the phone down, not sure what to think of everything going on, do i push to d, for my own sanity, its not what i really want though, or do i just sit tight for now??
