In the process

[newmama]

there is NO editing time! How can we get them to change that?

What I meant to say: "is it really necessary to look at dead one" (not LIVE one)

[flowmom]

I hear ya newmama. STBXH never uses the word divorce, never ended our "trial" separation, and never refers directly to the legalities of the legal separation.

And yes, if one is harbouring hope, the lack of clear communication is irresponsible in the part of the WAS.

(((hugs)))

For the online dating thing, I know that on the site that I'm on it sorts some of the searches according to "last time online". Also, people do look at that and assume the person is not available if they are not logging on.

[courageous wife]

and I am not regaining the weight I have lost but damn, french toast with syrup bacon and scrambled eggs sound reeeeally good!

I don't want to gain any weight back either but something covered in syrup does sound good about now! lol

Always fun to catch up on your life NM!

[newmama]

thanks ladies! What a whirlwind night. Here are the bullets:
*S and I went across town to meet mom et al for dinner. Took the wrong exit and drove all around. Still beat them there!

*As dinner went on I was feeling more and more achy with chills and just felt like crap

*I decided to go to urgent care with S along in case I had a bladder infection (not good timing with conferences around the corner)

*I get lost because the freeway was all backed up. I tried to type in the name of the medical center into my Garmin GPS but it only gives me the one 10 miles away! It starts raining cats and dogs.

*I finally decide to head home and pray that I don't get worse over night (vomiting and fever). Suddenly, I find the medical center.

*I accidentally put on the child lock and somehow LOCKED S IN THE CAR!!!! IN THE PARKING LOT! I freaked out and found a parking lot security phone. They came out pronto. My car was a disaster--such a mess. I am sure I looked like some white trash irresponsible mom. S was screaming his head off.

*I sign in to the Urgent Care, bring S with me to give a urine sample and wait for over an hour, even though there were only a few people in the lobby. Turns out that they were waiting to contact my provider or something. Suddenly I smell S and his diaper is poopy! So I check in with the receptionist and tell her I am going to go change his diaper in the car.

*Finally they call me back and ask me to do a pelvic exam! I am a patient that always asks questions so I asked why it was necessary. They didn't find evidence of a bladder infection so they wanted to investigate.

*Wouldn't you know it, a good looking, young, Southern doctor was the one to give me an exam! The nurse saw that I was a single mom so she whisked S away to be taken care of by the other nurses. She said she was a single mom too and we chatted about our kids. I had to wait ANOTHER hour after the exam., but the nurses gave S a toy ball, crackers and juice! And he was sooooo good! Even though it was over an hour past his bedtime. I am so lucky!

*In the end, the doc surmised that I was having a rheumatoid arthritis flare up and told me to take my meds for some relief. Duh...I have been behind on giving myself the shot and I have to eat foodwith the prednisone so I tend to forget about that when I don't have breakfast until school.

We drove home without getting lost, we had more cats and dog rain, we hydroplaned umpteem times. I decided to get myself an ice cream cone at McDonald's. S was asleep. (I haven't gained weight-- when I have a flare up, it raises my metabolism temporarily).

I am so tired but had to tell what happened.
Thank you, God, for having such decent and kind people in the world! I felt very fortunate and now I know that if disasters happen when I am alone with S, strangers will help!!!!

[awest1217]

So sorry you had such a bad night, but it is true that there are many people who are willing to help when you are alone. I hope you feel better soon, especially with conferences coming up.

[courageous wife]

Wow! What a night NM!
Seems that sometimes we have a day like that and then all turns out well in the end...

I remember when the kids and I were flying to CA (first time flying for all of us) to meet SS and H...got to airport and had to get on a down escalater! Kids were only 6 and 4 and we all had our pull behind bags...I didn't know how I was going to get all of us on there and didn't want to send S down by himself first...a very nice lady saw my predicament and offered to hold S's hand going down and then I could hold D's! It is scary to accept help from a stranger when you hear all these stories but there really are lots of good people out there!!!

[Fergie]

STBXH never uses the word divorce, never ended our "trial" separation, and never refers directly to the legalities of the legal separation.

Get me a pair of mouse ears to the club of "Big D Word Avoidance".

STBX hasn't said/written/sign languaged/smoke signalled/etc that word even now.

Must be a WAS thang....

--Fergie

[Mystik]

My H must be the exception because he has no problem throwing the D word around. I'm the one who can barely say it.

[flowmom]

Gosh newmama, BRUTAL. It really doesn't seem fair that you had to go through all that while being so sick. Yes, it's awful that you got help, but it sounds like you were barely in a condition to drive! Glad you got it sorted out. (((hugs)))

You know, if I was VERY sick and needed immediate medical attention, I would probably call STBXH to help me with the kids, even if he had to meet me somewhere. My kids have a father and he can be there for them in the event that I cannot look after them. I'm separated, not a widow.

I know you're super independent, but consider leaning on your WH when the occasion warrants it. You didn't plan on being a single parent.

[Mrs. A]

Hi Newmama-

It sounds like you need some R&R! If you ever find yourself in the great state of Michigan, let me know and I will take you UP NORTH - the most relaxing place in the universe! S would love it too!

Thank goodness you're ok. Isn't it crazy how the forces of the universe put things in perspective just when we need it most? Or maybe the universe is always putting things in perspective, but we just never notice until we're really down and out?

Anyway, still/always love catching up on your life. Also inspires me to GET.A.LIFE. !!!!

Sincerely,
Mrs. A