lol...I got that speech before you told me she wanted a D.
It went something like this -
"We can't get D, we have too much fun together. If we did D whoever we were with would be so jealous of our R. blah, blah, blah"
Yes it is a fantasy. I basically told her in my last email, when she accused me of following her when I bumped into her and my D in the mall, I have nothing to do with your life, I don't want anything to do with your life, except co-parenting our children.
Personally I don't need a "buddy" I used to be married to.
So now it's all dark except for kids stuff. It seems to be working better since most of her other stuff was biatching about me anyway. lol.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
I know my W has a similar view of things. Somtimes I want to show my W this site to show her just how predictable she is.
Her IC told her "research shows that married couple do better emotionally in their D when they stay close friends". So I'm supposed to agree, cause research has shown it will be better for me. "people in your situation often seek separation" rather than a D. The IC is an enabler.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
No, what I said to my H (in full blown year+ A): I'm not going to be your friend. I'm not going to be your enemy. I am going to be nothing to you. You won't ever see or speak to me again.
And I am dead f'ing serious about it. H wants D to be w/whore OW, fine. I am GONE ... forever. Too bad, so sad.
M & H: 40 M: 5.5 T: 7.5 OW: 7/09 Bomb: 9/09 Sep: 3/10 H files 7/10
Her IC told her "research shows that married couple do better emotionally in their D when they stay close friends". So I'm supposed to agree, cause research has shown it will be better for me. "people in your situation often seek separation" rather than a D.
This is total bull poop. Cite those studies. Friendly, civil... sure. No point in starting a war of emotional attrition.
I think your W is misrepresenting what her counselor has told her because nobody..., and I mean nobody who is any good at that job as a family therapist or even just an individual counselor is going to disregard what is happening to you on your end and your need to heal from this and move on with your life, and for that to happen (assuming divorce is inevitable), you need as little contact with her as possible, to clear out all reminders of her in your home, and so on, and that's what a counselor would tell YOU.
See how it is unlikely that a counselor told her that you two should be best buddies?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Oh... and don't even bring up Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: Bruce finally... "moves on" and marries... somebody who looks like his wife looked when she was younger. Too dog gone weird. There are whole tomes to be written about the depth of denial that man put himself through in the name of being a "nice guy".
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I think your W is misrepresenting what her counselor has told her because nobody..., and I mean nobody who is any good at that job as a family therapist or even just an individual counselor is going to disregard what is happening to you on your end and your need to heal from this and move on with your life, and for that to happen (assuming divorce is inevitable), you need as little contact with her as possible, to clear out all reminders of her in your home, and so on, and that's what a counselor would tell YOU.
See how it is unlikely that a counselor told her that you two should be best buddies?
Except that this happened while I was in the room in a joint session.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
To be clear, I think the IC feels there is hope for us. If I decide to cut bait, it will be over.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
To be clear, I think the IC feels there is hope for us. If I decide to cut bait, it will be over.
Did he explain it? Because I would seriously consider a new C otherwise.
She didn't. But I told my W if ever try MC again (unlikelky) I won't go to her.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
