I new here and this is my first post,but how do you know there is no other man? From my experience unless you have something lined up you wouldn't be thinking this way.
Yes, I've dealt with a bit of that. I ignore it, and make it clear that's not going to be the case by cutting off nearly all communication with my W. In divorce mediation I bring up the fact that in the event of my death my life insurance and social security will need to be split up between my kids with her, along with my then current wife, and possibly (step)kids with her. I said I will arrange for a trust fund for the kids, managed by my father, not her. She asked "What happens if your father dies?" I reply "Then it goes to my brother to manage." I told her I wanted to arrange the custody schedule so that the kids' transitions are mostly handled via the school bus, so we don't have to see each other. When she asks about my social life, I give her nothing, and I NEVER ask about hers. I think she gets it.
The fact that you're even having these conversations with your estranged W says that you haven't established good boundaries. You can't stop her if she wants to leave you and end your marriage, but she doesn't get to dictate how much you'll allow her to remain in your life. You do. Don't let her use the kids as leverage. If you establish clear boundaries, the kids will get it.
I guess the only way for her to start seeing the man behind the curtain is to show it to her. We have always been good friends, just not great as being a husband and wife. I don't want to cut her out of my life other than kids, but reality is reality... you can't be best buddies and then get a divorce. Doesn't work that way for me... Ive been nothing but business for the last several days and I think it has her a little rattled. I however, am looking forward to meeting some new people. It has been awhile and in some ways I can't wait!!
M 06/08 D10, D8 1st S 05/10 I move out Move back 07/10 same bed then me in guest room 2nd S 09/10 W out one week W back 09/10 W in guest room D-bomb 10/10 S - living together No D yet filed
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
