In the process

[newmama]

ha! I didn't email city guy and he emailed me! Said he was busy over the weekend, etc. So I replied and then he replied promptly.
I replied to his 2nd email promptly as well. Heck, I am not playing games because I really and truly get slammed and can't write for a couple of days sometimes!

But what is this...are we pen pals?

will I meet him?

am I too impatient?

[Virtually_Handsome]

Ah, at that awkward spot where someone has to say.... hey, want to meet?

I don't have a good answer, every time I get to that spot it is, well, awkward!

[awest1217]

Maybe CityGuy is just too busy right now to meet in person. I say give it until you may be ready to say you want to meet in person and ask him. Maybe he is shy and talks easier online.

With CountryGuy, I definitely would not be able to date anyone who is under the belief that teachers do not work hard and just punch a time card. I will admit that I leave right when I can in the afternoon, but that is because I am here extra early in the morning, and I truly feel that I need to get S and S is my first priority, but when I have my students, I am totally devoted to them and give them 110%. So I definitely understand where you are coming from.

[smith18]

Being pen pals is cool. Just make sure to practice safe english. Dont overuse prepositional phrases and adverbial clauses. Dont scold for premature use of apostrophe 's'. And always wear a spell checker when engaged in heavy writing.

[fb2]

"fb2- I guess the red flags for me personally was that he was cheap, he didn't bother to dress nice to meet me for the first time, and his political beliefs were opposite mine..."

Ya, understandable, dress could be a turn off. I for example like very clean and simply dressed and intelligent women with shoulder length hair preferably tied up in a pony tail. And loud colors, perfume, high heals and a lot of makeup and hair styling would definitely be a red flag for me!

On the other hand perhaps he was just being himself ("Country Boy") to set you at ease. Puzzling that he only dates teachers yet complains about their work ethic. My theory is that his kids get a lot of homework, have trouble with Math, he cannot afford expensive day camps in Summer and the teacher is not available to talk to about all this.

I'd go with Kerry's pen pal approach for now. This might serve to filter out the red flag types before you waste your time meeting them in person. And then when you meet them you can judge if what you see is what you expected. You also need more time to heal from the trauma of infidelity. Just my idiotic ideas.

[TimeHeals]

Back when I was dating, I never took anybody seriously if they didn't want to meet. Not that I ignored them altogether if they emailed, but I defintely didn't take them seriously if they didn't want to meet.

For all I knew, they could be obese gay men posing as women, so... email only was a red flag too.

Have I confused you?

[Sassy Rose]

Hey Newmama,

Long time, no see! New name, same initials, have moved over to MLC forum.

So...are you "officially" divorced? How long does that take in your state?

[Mrs. A]

Being pen pals is cool. Just make sure to practice safe english. Dont overuse prepositional phrases and adverbial clauses. Dont scold for premature use of apostrophe 's'. And always wear a spell checker when engaged in heavy writing.

Funniest thing I have read in AWHILE! Thanks for the belly laugh, Kerry!

[newmama]

lol, Kerry! That made me crack up, too!! Wear a spell checker indeed! The worst thing is that when I am emailing, I get lazy about using proper grammar...and being a "teacher" I am supposed to never make mistakes, right? But I do notice if someone CONSISTENTLY misuses the 's or says "your" instead of "you're." I just don't judge them too harshly for it.

I don't know what an "adverbial clause" is! Is it saying "so" too often?

So last night City Guy left me another email telling me about his busy day today of working out before work, and then spending time with his daughter after work. I have told him my son's name and he has only given me an initial for his daughter. Maybe we haven't met because he is really cautious?

His birthday is next week. We talked about astrology briefly- guess we are compatible, haha! He's a Scorpio and I am a Pisces.

I am wondering if maybe he wants to work out for awhile before meeting. I already asked him once and he didn't acknowledge it, so I am thinking of making him ask me. But I will still communicate. MEN out there: YOU WILL eventually make the first move, RIGHT?

He asked me what a long time dream or goal of mine was. Yikes...all I can do is think about the immediate future. I don't want him to think I am shallow or unimaginative but honestly, my goals are to move on from ExH, be the best mom I can to S, be an effective first grade teacher, and be vulnerable again. SUre, I have hobbies that I want to work on but my life long dreams are kind of shattered. I am not being melodramatic- I honestly am afraid to dream big!!! after this trauma.

[newmama]

Sassy Rose, I couldn't find your thread in the MLC forum! I have been wondering what happened to you! I am on FB as Chatty Newmama so drop me a message.

Oh and the paperwork was filed. So yeah, I guess I am officially a divorcee.

Oh that reminds me- I need to set up a 403B Roth IRA plan. So if I go through a financial planner, how much money will that cost me? Can I set this up on my own, or do I need to go through one of those financial planner people?

I guess I can google this. I hate being ignorant but money is just as boring to me as technology so I only know the basics.