I've only just begun!

[sandycay]

Well, the botanical gardens stroll was nice. Good conversation. Sat till it got dark on a bench and then went to dinner.

Or what I thought was going to be dinner and I hadn't eaten all day so I was hungry. I even made kids dinner before I went and didn't eat that so I could have dinner with him.

A few things that bothered me, When he pulled up to meet me ( Iwas getting in his car so he could drive us) he didn't get out of the car to greet me. (weird?)

The we got to dinner and they asked to seat us he said " we will sit at a table in the bar section, they have a great happy hour menu". I thought that was weird. Then the waitress asked us if we wanted a menu and he said "no", then looks at me "unless you want a big dinner". Then he ordered a beer and said "I don't drink beer out much becuse I'm on a budget"... hmmmmm So, I just ordered a beer and told him to order whatever he thought was best to eat.... so he ordered a flat bread thingy (which was good) but got one so we split it. Then at one point towards the end I went to the restroom ane when he came back he got up to go and said, (as he was holdig up the bill holder) "I've alreasdy taken care of this".... ummm ok???? Duh ....


Then we got back to my car we are sitting there in his talking.... he asked me if he could kiss me (while we are sitting in the car) awkard!!!!! Then I got out and HE DIDN'T GET OUT OF THE CAR to put me in my car!!!! Also, he never opened the car door for me once. I am not used to that either....even EXH did that for me on most occasions.

So, the pluses are he is very nice, tons of words of affirmations towards me. I think he is more reserve than me... cause I'm pretty out there with the humor. But, I think he really really likes me and I am not sure how to sloooooow it down. He broke up with his GF a year ago and hasn't dated anyone since..... so I want to be careful of his heart. Because he is genuinly nice and honestly I would need to go out with him a few more times before I could call it either way.

Now, I am not saying that being on a budget is a bad thing, but seriously if you offer to meet me at 5:30 for date.... that includes dinner it includes dinner. Take me to McDonald's or whereever you can afford but let me eat! Plus I drove an hour to do that and had to drive an hour back home......

And my makeup compact fell out of my purse into his car so I will have to see him again to get that..... but the timing sucks between distance and kids.

[smith18]

You need to get a better purse.

Kissing in the car is awkward. The last lady I dated, we would both get out (no matter who's was driving) for the good night hug/kiss.

Did you get yourself properly fed after the date? I bet you get a good laugh the next time you dine on a "flat bread thingy".

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Sandy)))))
I don't think I am too impressed. You don't ask if you can kiss someone, and then not get out of the car to say good-bye. You don't tell someone, "We will sit there". You say, "Would you like to sit in the bar? They have a nice happy hour." You don't assume they don't want a menu. Etc.

Lots of mixed signals to me. Maybe he is just socially inept. But, is that a just, or part of his makeup that will nag at you every day?

[sandycay]

You need to get a better purse.
LOL Kerry, you always make me smile!

Kissing in the car is awkward. The last lady I dated, we would both get out (no matter who's was driving) for the good night hug/kiss.

Did you get yourself properly fed after the date? I bet you get a good laugh the next time you dine on a "flat bread thingy".

[color:#000099] Yes, I stopped and bought barbq corn nuts.....color]

[sandycay]

(((((Sandy)))))
I don't think I am too impressed. You don't ask if you can kiss someone, and then not get out of the car to say good-bye. You don't tell someone, "We will sit there". You say, "Would you like to sit in the bar? They have a nice happy hour." You don't assume they don't want a menu. Etc.
Not to make excuses but it was a booth in the bar...just no table cloths etc. Very nice restaurant.
Lots of mixed signals to me. Maybe he is just socially inept. You may be on to soomething here. He's quite brillant so maybe that's were he is lacking. I am pretty sure I could let him know he needs to do those things i.e. open the door, get out of the car and he would. But, is that a just, or part of his makeup that will nag at you every day? That is the question at large. I am kinda ok if I never saw him again... so does that mean I'm just not that into him.... of course, it could be because school is crazy righ now and I don't have the energy to deal with it.

Plus, it really made me miss FFG and the ease of our relationship. I just dont really know what to do at this point... he's a great guy but I just want casual not anything else at this point. So, I guess after Wednesday test, I will have a conversation with him regarding that.

[sandycay]

Time for an update I suppose since I will be coming up on the anniversary of EXH walking out for a 2nd time and me filing. November 9th is the date but finally dates don't matter anymore.

I remember when they did and I dreaded it. I really hadn't even thought about it until matchguy and I talked about how long we had been divorced and such and then it dawned on me the date was coming up.

So, EXH surfaced at a soccer game for D and seemed nice and his normal self. It started raining and I had a big umbrella and he had none,so I was inclined to tell him he was welcome to stand under mine and I didn't think he would burst into flames or anything... he laughed and moved under it. At one point he was talking to me and slipped and called me "honey" which was his pet name for me..... I just let it ride and then he realized what he said and I think it surprised him. Anyway, we both had a good laugh at that. I had told D i would take her to lunch after game and since she has only seen her D once since June he got asked to join us. We drove to lunch place had a nice lunch a few laughs and seemed like it always had and did. Pre-bomb.

As we left he said "see ya tomorrow" she had another soccer game...but he was a no-show, no call.... so I did text him the score the next day....no reply, I honestly was worried cause he doesn't say I will be there and then not... so I called around 10 that night both phones no answer, this next day I sent a text "are you alive" I was concerned at that point.... and then he came back with he got short noticed to work, phone was dead blah blah blah.... wha the should have said was I was to invovled in kitty cats to bother with my daughter.... but he chose to lie. It didn't matter, I just want him to not disappoint her anymore.

Since then he has been in very little communicaiton to her... she has opened the door for him and yet he text infrequently and calls infrequently.... I wish he would have more effort.

I have joined match and dipping a toe into the casual dating world...but I have very little time anyway but it's nice to have some adult conversation out of it.... but the weirdos really do hang out in those places.... 1200 profiles deleted already.

I don't know if my profile is lame or what.... I've had 1113 views but only a handful of interest. I was pondering to a friend about this because she asked me "do men talk to you when your out, like grocery store, different places?" I said, "no, not really" When I've gone out with friends...it's men younger than me that approach me to talk. I look around and with woman in my age range... I'm not half bad, I'm healthy, normal weight range, I think I have a decent enough personality. So, I wonder if men have a hard time like I do on match.... wondering if we are on the same "playing field". What I mean by that is I have had 65 year old men with numerous health problems try to email me to meet for lunch.... we are not on the same playing field... you know what I mean? I don't know if I am making sense.... Sometimes I wonder when I view a man's profile am I in his league of dating material and when I am unsure and don't look at it again. It's hard to gauge that through photographs. My friend suggested that maybe I come across as to intimidating. So guys, how does a girl not come across like that?

FFG wanted to come over the day before halloween and give me something from him and his daughter and maybe take my D for the night to go to a Halloween party. I had to write him an email and tell him why this was no good for any of us. I still have a drill of his that he was asking about and told him i would leave it on the porch for him to pickup but then all the sudden he was in no hurry to get it.... so here it sits. I just wasnt' not ready to see the little girl.... I love the kids so much but I couldnt' trust myself not to cry, so I could not do it. If my D is going to spend time with his D, I think I will arrange it through his EXW as to not confuse my D by being around him. She loves/ed him and I think it's better that way.

[BobbiJo]

I SO thought of you the other night...my ex called wanting to take the kids and I for dinner--kids started arguing over where to eat so he said forget it if they can't decide where to eat. yeah, so that's a good reason to bail on a plan? sheesh

Too bad he didn't show for the other game. I hate it when their flakiness hurts the kids.

Guess I am in good company, I have removed 2300 profiles from match! Some say I am picky, I say if I see something or read something that turns me off, you are gone. Why keep looking at profiles of people that I know I don't want to meet?? And I am with you, I like to have the door opened for me, simple acts of courtesy/chivalry. I will offer to pay my half on a first meeting, but if a guy asks me out I do think he should pay the first time. Granted last time I was in the dating pool was the 1990s.

I hear you on the 'in their league' thing, too. When I get a wink or email from a 28 yr old who has never been married, no kids, and he's a good looking/fit guy, I think, Why would he be interested in me? He is probably better off with someone younger who doesn't have kids yet. Guess that is another form of mind reading though...

[sandycay]

Well, exh surfaced for soccer game yesterday. Complimented me on my boots (brown leather riding boots)? Weird?

Sat right behind me at the game which is what he typically does if he shows up. i didn't even know he was in town.

After game, he is hugging daughter and looks at me and says "you guys want to go to lunch" so i said well let me call son (who was leaving the game in his car) to see if he wants to go. So, I got off the phone and told EXH that yes S wants to go and he said "I meant all of us, your welcome to come too". I was going to get something to eat anyway so I joined them at Subway....

I did have to call him later to ask about taking the kids out of country over Thanksgiving so that was a brief convo I could tell he wanted to ask more but didn't.

Oh well, didn't hear from match guy..I'll call him hunter guy as he likes to hunt, but I didnt' really expect to at this point. I don't know if I am brave enough to send out feelers on match yet as I really like for the man to make the first move.

What do the guys thing on sights about a woman contacting you first?

[sandycay]

Hmmm input needed:

Hunter guy text a few times yesterday and said he was going to call me later.... he did.

We talked for about 45 min about different things... then we hung up.

I ask you.... why is he calling me and not asking me out again? Ugh.... I don't get this dating thing. It's been to long, I don't know the rules!

So, I sent an email to another match guy, we will see if it is returned. I don't want to send out to many at once, because my time is precious. I can only juggle so much. LOL

[sandycay]

bump it up!