Awww my stbex took all of our kids and om#7 to her cousins wedding in corpus this weekend and she was nice enough to leave om#7's parked in my driveway so I could take pictures of his pickup parked there tonight. She's the gift that just keeps giving.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I'm going to take pictures of it tomorrow on the way to work just for good measure. I think I will break out the cannon rebel dslr and take some nice portraits. Isn't that romantic!
Last edited by 40andsadintexas; 10/15/1005:45 AM.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Emotions are funny things, the first part of this week my stomache was tied up in knots because of the court date, now I'm kind of down in the dumps because it didn't happen. I know this holding pattern sucks, from early August until 10-7-10 every thing was cool because I was getting to see my kids. Last thursday she found out we were trying to get a Child advocate for our kids and since that time she has not let me see my kids and is back to her old tricks of making them talk to me on speaker phone, not letting them call me, telling the kids how bad I am and that I am trying to take them away from her, no I not I fighting to remain part of my kids life. She should be happy she married a man who gives a crap, many walk away from their famlies without a fight.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
It disgusts me what she is doing to your kids. She is doing perhaps the worst mistake of all - Parental Alienation (see #8 in the quoted list).
The child advocate should pick up on this.
It may very well come back to bite her in court if she does not start co-parenting with you correctly.
Originally Posted By: Top 12 Divorced Parenting Mistakes
1. Leaning on your child for support during this time of pain in your life is unhealthy and inappropriate. Children can not help their parents through the adult task of mourning the loss of a marriage! And loyalty issues will leave a child feeling guilty for siding against a parent or possibly disproportionately angry at a parent for leaving him with this burden. This is the time to lean on family and friends so you are strong enough to allow your child to lean on you.
2. You should never speak badly about your ex to or in front of the children. Although it may be difficult, it is not healthy for the children to take on your adult issues, even if they directly relate to the child. As a common example, a parent should not share with a child whether or not the other parent is paying child support, how much child support or when the child support doesn't come in no matter how tempting it may be. Because your child shares flesh and bone with your ex, any criticism of your ex will also feel like a criticism of the child and will erode his or her self esteem. This is never healthy and is certainly not productive.
3. Treating your child like a buddy and relating to him or her as a peer is a common change that occurs after some divorces. While it may be tempting to commiserate with your child since you have both lost something important in your lives, your losses are different. Your child is not a mini-adult!
4. Mothers of sons and fathers of daughters should be particularly careful that they do not put their oldest child into the position of "replacement spouse", "man of the house", "woman of the house", etc. Children need to feel like children and feel the security of knowing their parent can and will take care of all adult responsibilities.
5. Spoiling your child in order to divert his grief or pain is not a healthy way of dealing with his pain or yours. If you are the parent who has moved away from your child, you may have an even larger temptation to fight off since your time together will be so limited now. It feels important to make that time memorable to your child and what child doesn't love new toys? But more than toys, a child needs to feel stable and safe. This can be obtained through parenting "as usual", despite the changing life around you all. No child wants a toy to replace a parent.
6. Transferring your hostile feelings about the divorce or your ex onto your child is unhealthy, at best. Many children already feel like divorce is their fault when, of course, it never is. Although your child shares blood and genes with your ex, whom you may resent and despise, the child did not choose for any of this to happen.
7. Never discuss parenting time, custody or child support issues in front of the kids. This means no discussions during routine transfers of the children from one home to the other. It means no cell phone conversations with your children sitting in the back seating listening in. It means waiting until they go to bed or are out of the area before making phone calls to discuss adult issues. You probably felt it was important not to argue in front of your children when you were still married with your ex. This is just as important now that you are divorced! Even if you can discuss issues civilly, children should not be privy to them. It is far too common for children to overhear these discussions and feel as if they are the cause of the issue or they are a burden to one parent or the other. Children do not like to feel like a business transaction!
8. Alienating a child from the other parent is an all-too-common, often subconscious tactic that parents may use during or after a divorce. Alienating is a form of brainwashing where one repeatedly insists, to the child, that facts and feelings exist between the other parent and the child until the child begins to agree, whether true or not. When alienated long enough, children may resist any bond with the other parent and that parent may, out of frustration and hopelessness, sever ties with the child. This is the worst no-no any divorcing parent can commit and it has a name: Parental Alienation Syndrome.
9. Putting your child in the middle is one of the most common divorce no-no's. Asking your child questions about the other parent or time spent with the other parent, or asking your child to relay questions and information between parents are all harmful methods of putting the child in the middle. Parents should always communicate all issues privately between themselves and any questions or concerns about the other parent's home or situation should be directed at the parent, not the child.
10. Never put your child in the position of choosing. Most states have statues that require a child to be almost an adult before being capable of choosing where they want to live. Some states never allow the child this choice. This is because a child has natural healthy loyalty toward both parents. Being asked to make any choice between parents - whether the choice is who has custody or whose house the child wants to spend Christmas at - puts the child in the awkward position of shifting their loyalty away from one parent in favor of the other. This can leave them feeling guilty, resentful, angry and sad.
11. Don't make your child's special occasion an opportunity to focus on your marital resentment or hostility. Let your child's birthdays, holidays, school performances, dance recitals and sports events all be opportunities to focus on your child and how proud you are of your child. This is not the time to discuss parenting time issues, child support issues or to berate each other or ex-relatives. If you question your ability to be polite or civil, consider taking turns at special events or limiting your attendance. Often times, though, events will be large enough for parents to both attend at opposite ends of the room, leaving the child to interact freely with both sides of the family without fear of disruption or drama.
12. Although going through a divorce can make a parent feel emotionally needy, this should not be shared with your child through action or word. A child who feels a parent's neediness too much will begin feeling guilty or fearful of leaving the parent when it is time to spend time with the other parent. In some situations, children can feel so guilty that they no longer feel good about leaving the parent at all, even to go to school or to play at a friend's house. This is a huge burden to cast on a child.
1.Lie. - It's critical that you and your attorney trust each other. So why not lie to them? That's really a great strategy. 2.Get your kids involved. - Divorce is unpleasant enough on it's own. If you really get your kids involved and start using them against each other it's easy to make it much, much worse - on you and your kids. So go ahead, get a good custody battle going. Make your kids miserable. (If you pursue this strategy, I recommend saving money for therapy.) 3.Start dating immediately. - If you'd like to make your spouse even less willing to try to reach an agreement, then start dating - and make sure you tell them about it. 4.Raid the bank accounts. - This is a great way to let everyone know that you are the "bad spouse." Cut your spouse off from all your assets and don't let them have any money to live or to hire an attorney. 5.Start making big purchases. - Spend, spend, spend. This one does two things. First, it's just more stuff to try and divide during the divorce. Second, since money is often an issue in divorces in the first place, it can give you just a little bit more to argue about. 6.Don't do anything. - If you really want to frustrate everyone, including your own lawyer, don't do anything. Don't call anyone back. Don't respond to emails or letters or show up for meetings. 7.Don't listen to your lawyer, get legal advice from your friends and family. - This is a personal favorite of mine. I know you hired an attorney to guide you thought this legal matter, but he or she couldn't possibly know as much about the law as your aunt Dorothy who has been divorced 3 times. 8.Hire the most expensive attorney in town. - There are some attorneys in town that won't even talk to you unless you can pay at least a $25,000 retainer. If you really want to nuke all your family's financial resources while fighting with your spouse, make sure you talk to one of these lawyers.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I took one small step toward getting parts of my old life back today. During the summer my membership to the local gun club expired and I did not renew because I didn't care about anything. I sent my renewal check today. I plan on shooting in a IDPA match next month, a small step to getting back on with life but a step. Next year hopefully I wont have child support chewing up 45% of my pay and legal bills out the butt, then I can get a deer lease again, I think the time spent at the deer lease with my kids has formed some of my best memories ever.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I am in a good mood today the stbex just keeps giving the gift of giving, I have great pics of OM7's pickup in my driveway and the kids called me this morning twin2 was talking to me on the phone when he said OM7 is driving the phone went silent then D-10 called back and said twin2 accidently hung up on me!!! the best part I have it recorded!!!
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Does she not see the harm she's doing to the kids bringing OM into their lives?
I hope you get full custody. Your kids will be better off.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
