Why do I want a man who doesn't want me? Or have any love left for me? ugh
Here's where you need to be brutally honest. He might, might have feelings for you still. Hidden by the pain he's feeling, but they might still be there. Or they might be nuked. And though it's a romantic Hollywood notion that you can "win him back," it's BS. Don't kid yourself into believing it. He either is hiding his feelings because of pain, or has lost them, maybe for good.
Either way, you can't change his feelings at all. Only he can. You can grow from this turmoil by learning communication skills that will serve you well in future relationships, by working on your self-esteem so you stand up for yourself and your needs.
Once he gets over his hurt and anger, he might realize his role in what happened. The mistakes he made. That's when you would have a chance for him to initiate contact with you. That's when you would make a heartfelt apology.
I'm a firm believer that you learn more about a person by how they handle a crisis. This is your test (and his). How will you handle yourself? You can handle this.
Counselor thinks NOT moving away is a bad idea. I told her last week I'm moving out of the house, but staying in town. She told me I was in denial and grasping at straws hoping he'll change his mind. We'll I'm sure that's true, but this is my decision the time being.
Um, I'm with you here. Your counselor is loco. Why should you have to move??? That's ridiculous. And you are right, it's totally your choice. A new counselor may not be a bad idea.
Originally Posted By: So Ashamed
I can't contest the divorce. We're in a no-fault state, so I can only negotiate on the terms of the divorce, but I can't contest it.
Wait a minute here. No-fault just means there doesn't have to be "fault" stated in order to divorce. That has no bearing on whether you agree or not to what he's set fort his petition for divorce. I also live in a "no fault" state but I sure as hell didn't sign over wht stbx wanted just to appease him and make it go away... You need to talk to your L about this. Now if you are in total agreement with him, then that's another story.
Counselor thinks NOT moving away is a bad idea. I told her last week I'm moving out of the house, but staying in town. She told me I was in denial and grasping at straws hoping he'll change his mind. We'll I'm sure that's true, but this is my decision the time being.
Um, I'm with you here. Your counselor is loco. Why should you have to move??? That's ridiculous. And you are right, it's totally your choice. A new counselor may not be a bad idea.
Originally Posted By: So Ashamed
I can't contest the divorce. We're in a no-fault state, so I can only negotiate on the terms of the divorce, but I can't contest it.
Wait a minute here. No-fault just means there doesn't have to be "fault" stated in order to divorce. That has no bearing on whether you agree or not to what he's set fort his petition for divorce. I also live in a "no fault" state but I sure as hell didn't sign over wht stbx wanted just to appease him and make it go away... You need to talk to your L about this. Now if you are in total agreement with him, then that's another story.
Paging CityGirl!
I didn't fully understand what you meant by contesting. He's asking for the house, which is fine. I can't afford it anyway and it's worth half of what we owe on it. He's not asking for anything else really. My attorney is working on the details with me.
Things keep getting worse. Now he's taking his "generous offer" off the table and leaving me with the debt, the house and the mortgage....or trying to anyway. Talking to the attorney today.
Just when I thought I had things figured out, everything changes. Well, let's be honest, I had nothing figured out really, but these changes just make me more confused and upset about the whole sitch.
He's working off his feelings, which are naturally in flux. Give him the time and space to work them out, while you work on yourself.
With the lawyer, just treat it as a business transaction, and try to separate any emotions as best you can. Don't be "nice" legally in the hopes of earning brownie points to win him back. Get what you deserve legally.
