Of course, communication was a biggie. If he didn't want to talk about something, he just didn't, period.
So, when he'd dismiss you like that SOA, what would you reply back to him? What would you do?
Go in the other room and pout. I didn't want my friends and fam to feel badly about him, so instead of venting to them, I went online and started playing games, and then one thing lead to another....
Sometimes I would ask him to tell me when it would be a good time to talk about whatever it was I wanted to talk about. He never did. I tried not to nag. I hated to nag.
I didn't want my friends and fam to feel badly about him, so instead of venting to them, I went online and started playing games, and then one thing lead to another....
Sometimes I would ask him to tell me when it would be a good time to talk about whatever it was I wanted to talk about. He never did.
Ssss...ouch. Yah. That's what I did too. Withdrew and hid. But unfortunately, withdrawing when someone dismisses you only helps to perpetuate that kind of cycle. Oh but I agree that no-one wants to nag. And no one ends up listening to a nag either. But - everyone has a right to stand up for themselves and ask to be heard if they're upset about something.
Have you ever read any good books on self-esteem SOA? Before I started therapy and came to this board, I actually loathed the idea of them. But once I started reading... I couldn't stop. It helped me regain my self-esteem so much. (don't get me wrong... I still wobble a lot and flub... but I'm miles ahead of where I was a year ago) I'd be happy to suggest some if you're interested?
Last edited by FindingMyVoice; 10/13/1010:10 PM.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
SOA, your H sounds like my stbx. He never wanted to talk though to a complete extreme. You are welcome to read the first thread I posted if you like.
It's very frustrating when you walk to talk to someone and they won't hear you out.
Did you end up hitting the gym after all?
No, I didn't hit the gym. Ended up on the phone with mom til too late and I knew if I hit the gym that late I'd be up all night. I know, excuses excuses. Unfortunately with my schedule today, gym won't happen til tomorrow morning, but I promise tomorrow it WILL happen.
I didn't want my friends and fam to feel badly about him, so instead of venting to them, I went online and started playing games, and then one thing lead to another....
Sometimes I would ask him to tell me when it would be a good time to talk about whatever it was I wanted to talk about. He never did.
Ssss...ouch. Yah. That's what I did too. Withdrew and hid. But unfortunately, withdrawing when someone dismisses you only helps to perpetuate that kind of cycle. Oh but I agree that no-one wants to nag. And no one ends up listening to a nag either. But - everyone has a right to stand up for themselves and ask to be heard if they're upset about something.
Have you ever read any good books on self-esteem SOA? Before I started therapy and came to this board, I actually loathed the idea of them. But once I started reading... I couldn't stop. It helped me regain my self-esteem so much. (don't get me wrong... I still wobble a lot and flub... but I'm miles ahead of where I was a year ago) I'd be happy to suggest some if you're interested?
Wondering if I should have responded to this email sent to me on Sept 28th. I didn't. I thought it was the right thing to do. Now I'm questioning it, like I question everything:
"I have not and will not reverse my decision to dissolve our marriage. Your efforts to change my mind have only further convinced me to proceed with the divorce. Please, recognize the severity of what you've done and except the consequences. If you care for me in any way whatsoever you will comply with my wishes. It is not fair for you to attempt to trap me in a loveless marriage due to a technicality of your violation of our marriage vows. You should trust me when I say that divorce is a safer alternative to remaining together in our situation.
Please, do not contact my family and drag them into this. It will not have the results you're seeking.
Also, I cannot continue to live this way much longer. I would like to keep the house. And I know that you have the option of moving in with your sister in (another state). I'm not saying this has to happen over night, but, I strongly encourage you to pursue that option so we can minimize the difficulty of this situation. My attorney has informed me that you do not have to respond to the court by the deadline if you agree to a marital settlement agreement. If you simply fail to respond to the court by the deadline I will still stand by my generous offer and acquire all the debt as long as you move away.
At first no. My husband spoke to her when she came into town to support me. And instead of telling him we should try to work this out, she nodded her head at everything he said, and took her job to given to her by my husband, to convince me that there is no working this out and that I should move away, very seriously. Now she wants him to give me another chance and she wants us to work this out, blah blah blah. Also, she keeps comparing this to when my father left her. I love her and I'm sure she meant well. Now the best she can offer me is that I won't hurt this much forever and that some day I will feel happy again.
