I was only trying to help from many years of studying these things. It is something that once you believe in it, you never go back to pining and trying as hard as you do to please a woman. That just isn't something I will ever do. I know there is nothing wrong with me now. I already know I am a good husband. Not perfect, but I am fine the way I am. I have never seen chasing and hanging in there with women work very well. I HAVE seen the tough approach work to perfection. However, it isn't for the faint of heart.
It is up to you to get to the peaceful place of...
"I really don't want or need this drama"
Once you do you will never og back to the place you seem to keep coming back to when a woman gets flakey on you.
Time to stop blaming yourself and time to start blaming her.
Find peace. you really don't need this drama. Once you prove that to her and let her really really wonder if she can NOT get you back.. is when she will stop it for good. I think she is addicted to drama and now needs some to escape her boredom of everyday life. She then got you to believe it is YOUR fault.. Expert job by her of getting you to fall for it.
i'll tell you what Gucci. If she does not talk to Co about her infidelity I will do what you suggest. I will pull her Co cause its my insurance and I will tell her that she needs to move on or address her lack of morals..
you don't interpret this behavior as a dating lull? and she is lonely and you are the caring ear and faithful friend who will listen as she awaits her next fix? who else will listen?
and do you really buy this line - "the pain she has from hurting me" ?
must be a rather dull pain if she hasn't lost that number yet.
gucci, you didn;t answer my question. Who would I know you as?
As for Rondo, he isn't going to change anything today. Hence I told him to take care of his business and not think too much. As you said he's a big boy. I have confidence that he will choose the right way to go. It may be the screw you approach you suggest, it may not be. But it is way too early for Rondo to be issuing ultimatums. The wound is fresh. He needs to get his own emotions under control. That will enable him to really decide the way he wants to go.
As form his marriage, we'll see how that goes.
Finally, to point out what is acceptable and what is not would really just be a statement of the obvious.
Question for you guys: HYPOTHETICALLY, in an IDEAL sitch on DB... WAS leaves, says they need time, the script and the LBS says they won't stand around while they make up their mind and/or they need to cut off contact with OP if one is involved.
Let's say WAS agrees to this, says they want to come back home, do MC and work on it, then what? Does LBS now keep detaching & keep distance or they go full speed ahead working on it, allowing WAS to come back home? Asking because we hardly ever see this happen and its what everyone wants to happen...
But it is way too early for Rondo to be issuing ultimatums.
that is the second biggest mistake after don't believe anything they say.
IMMEDIATE ACTION! You are screwing someone else. GOOD BYE!
I can't believe you would recommend 1 day of rubbing your forehead over a cheating spouse. There should be no reason why you should give someone the impression that you are OK with someone else enjoying them. unless you are OK with someone else enjoying them. but then why would you be posting here then
it is way too early for Rondo to be issuing ultimatums
I have noticed people on these forums often confuse healthy boundaries with utlimatums and other such controlling behavior.
Healthy boundaries are good. Don't want to be married to somebody who thinks it's OK to cheat on you, then enforce that boundary. It's easy to have principles, but it is apparently very difficult for people to stick to them even when it's the healthy response.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
