In the process

[ImprovedRomeo]

(((NM)))

You can tell *us* that you're disappointed because we understand and we know what it's like.

I'm sorry you're feeling down. This *is* hard and especially with a little one it's a lot harder but it will get better and life will perk up. You've seen glimpses of it already. You'll be ok!

[sandycay]

NM~ what your feeling is natural. When the business of D comes up it brings bad feelings, but really nothing has changed in your life because you signed the paper.

I don't know if I am explaining myself right. What I am saying is once I knew what was going to happen in my mind we were already divorced because that's how we had been living.

The rest is business so try to keep that in perspective. Your daily life is the same as it was yesterday and you've been through the hardest of the emotional part of this.

I'm not saying that there aren't downer days or moments so feel Blah for a day or so then I know you girl~ you will pull up something sassy and do it!

[flowmom]

(((hugs))) Newmama. I hope that you are letting yourself grieve. You are so awesome at maintaining a good attitude most of the time, but sometimes we just have to be in the suckitude of it all . This stupid legal stuff just adds to the pain of loss.

[awest1217]

It completely stinks and I understand feeling disappointed and not wanting the marriage to be over. You are just like me and have been separated for quite a while, but it still hurts to know it is over and your spouse chose the OW over you. So sorry. From what I have learned, let yourself be mad or sad or anything else. This all sucks and it is all so stinking hard by yourself. I know for me the past few weeks have been nuts with conferences and so many other things that I really need some me time, but that won't be happening for a few more weeks. My next break from work isn't for another two weeks.

Hope things perk up soon!

[soleil]

NM~ what your feeling is natural. When the business of D comes up it brings bad feelings, but really nothing has changed in your life because you signed the paper.

I don't know if I am explaining myself right. What I am saying is once I knew what was going to happen in my mind we were already divorced because that's how we had been living.

What you are saying makes total sense.

It completely stinks and I understand feeling disappointed and not wanting the marriage to be over. You are just like me and have been separated for quite a while, but it still hurts to know it is over

((((Newmama))))

It does suck when a relationship you thought was permanent ends. But life does go on and it changes... I am sending you a big hug.
So when is the D final?

[Mystik]

So sorry NM, even if you are expecting something it still comes as quite a blow when it actually happens.

[newmama]

exactly....thank God for you guys! And Mystik you hit the nail onthe head. But Soleil, Iread your post last night and your words "but really nothing has changed in your life because you signed the paper" stayed with me. I was trying not to break down on my way to work and I thought of those words again and again in a loop. It is true.

I know how this crap goes. Up and down. I know I say one thing and the next day say another. I hate it. But I got through today being really busy at work. I am emailing a different guy as well as the country boy right now.

Here is something about that:
the country boy wants to live in the country and have his own farm one day. When I asked him if he had dated women who lived an hour away he said no but he was open to trying new things. Hmm...yet he wants to stay where he lives and I told him I prefer the city? And we both have 50-50 custody? What is the point of this correspondence? I guess I am curious about meeting him in person. He is 37, looking for women in the age range of 25-41. He has been divorced 5 years, been dating but has had 2 relationships since his divorce. He has sons aged 12 and 15.


Now the other guy is 38, has never been married, just engaged. He said she called it off. He has a 4 year old daughter. He works in the tech field, plays guitar, is professionally trained as a chef, prefers "authenticity" in life, is a "family man," is into smaller groups of close friends rather than a larger crowd at a party, and so far I am finding it rather easy to communicate with him via email. Which can be hard to do. His profile says he is "a few extra pounds" but his face looks cute and I don't know what that really means. His age range is 34-42.

[courageous wife]

exactly....thank God for you guys! And Mystik you hit the nail onthe head. But Soleil, Iread your post last night and your words "but really nothing has changed in your life because you signed the paper" stayed with me. I was trying not to break down on my way to work and I thought of those words again and again in a loop. It is true.

I know how this crap goes. Up and down. I know I say one thing and the next day say another. I hate it.

I just know you are going to handle all of this with class NM! Good for you for recognizing that there will be good days and bad! As I have been told countless times...it is just a piece of paper!!!

FWIW-country boy sounds ok but...
other guy...might be fun but would there be competition in the kitchen?

[smith18]

Kerry-it is great that you have good chemistry with someone but I wasn't kidding about setting you up with ErinGoBragh (what is that Irish saying?). So let me know if you want to see her pic- but you would have to tell me on FB (chatty newmama).

I have not met the lady yet so I am not sure we have the "chemistry". She lives in Vancouver which is a bit of a drive, but she sure does have a lot of things that interest me.

I tried sending you a friend request on FB.

Country boy sounds fun. Does he want to be a dirt farmer or critter farmer?

My uncle used to have the biggest turkey farm in Oregon. It was right next to the I5 rest area near the Canby exit. I used to love spending time there during the summer as a kid. Are you really dead set against the rural life?

Go Ducks!

Go Beavers!

[Mystik]

Not so sure about country boy but the other guy sounds good.