In general...a solid week. The kids started school and the wife and I teamed up on the paperwork, etc that comes with starting school. So it was pretty good.
Lots of flirting and joking going on this week between the wife and I. Can't beat that!
How a month changes things.......but things have changed.The changes are not something I would have predicted a month ago, the results though being that it is time for me to move on.
I got the "I love you, but I am not in love with you" speech again. After this much time I really feel it is time to accept that the marriage is done. It happens sometimes....people just fall out of love that is not to be rekindled. I know it is the best for both of us if I leave. As you all know seeing someone you love everyday without them feeling the same is tough. It is a path I don't want to tread any longer....I would rather be alone than live with someone who doesn't feel the same. We both deserve more than we currently have.
For those that read this....go through the steps. The end goal is worth it...refinding yourself is an incredible experience. Realize there is no greater gift than that....none. Take your time and don't rush to judgment....there will be a day that it will all make sense.
For those that read this....go through the steps. The end goal is worth it...refinding yourself is an incredible experience. Realize there is no greater gift than that....none. Take your time and don't rush to judgment....there will be a day that it will all make sense.
It never is OP.....Looking into your wife's eyes and seeing the pain of hurting you is so intense. My wife said "I see that women want you and I see why they want you, but I don't. I don't know why....maybe my parents or an ex-boyfriend (this recently came to light in a therapy session), but I just don't want you". No hateful statements, but sheer pain and frustration. That isn't a way to live...for either of us.
I know the grass isn't greener....that isn't a delusion of mine. I also will acknowledge the only obvious back step I have taken is doing to much. The bills, homework with kids, cleaning, etc....that is my error. I just got into a way of doing things and can't get out. I try, but when there is a pile of dishes to be done...I do it. That is one that goes both ways though...just yesterday I asked her to do more around the house and she replied "when the mood hits me I will".
Einstein stated that insanity is when you do the same thing over and over expecting different results.....I have done it a lot and I am tired of the same results.
Sometimes we forget that standing is OUR decision...
No one person knows the future, or what it will bring for any of us. What we learn is that we have that choice for ourselves. And it does feel selfish for us to make that decision.
Lost, my friend, I wouldn't trade standing for anything I have faced in this life. What standing gave me, will be carried with me until the day I die.
One of the things I learned was that I needed to get to a healthy mental place so that I could make those hard decisions.
You are in that place... and it is a hard choice to make.
Trust yourself right now, and know that whatever happens, you will be fine....because of who you have become.
I am soo sorry. You know where and how to reach me – anytime dude – any fuc*ing time – day or night man!
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but things have changed.
And change again they could. You already know that.
I can go on and on about your integrity, your strength, you as a person….BUT you already know this too. So I would much rather say – THANK YOU.
Just a simple thank you.
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I know it is the best for both of us if I leave. We both deserve more than we currently have. Looking into your wife's eyes and seeing the pain of hurting you is so intense. That isn't a way to live...for either of us.
The fact that you can get to a place to say this with no anger, no resentment…IMO…from a place of peace, compassion and true love – is what many here are trying to get to. It is your response to this that really shows who Lost is.
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No hateful statements, but sheer pain and frustration.
MLC – the running, the confusion, the pain….
My hope and prayer is that she will eventually take the steps needed for HER.
Personally, I am of the opinion that one day and I have no idea when, she will come to realize what she gave away.
She will come to you and ask for forgiveness
She will come to you broken
When that time comes, I have no doubt that you will continue to be YOU. Compassionate, understanding and loving her unconditionally.
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I know the grass isn't greener....that isn't a delusion of mine.
I would disagree with you here and trust me dude – I hate disagreeing with you.
The grass can be greener – Because it is grass that you will work on! You will plant seeds and water them, those seeds will grow….and with what you have learned and found I have no doubt that those seeds will reap for you a wonderful life.
Stay strong my friend.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
And everyone here does or thinks they do, when the pats on the back come around and the sorry's and good try, you did good, you did your best.
You did your best.
You know?
Did you?
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I just got into a way of doing things and can't get out.
We get tired of this, we get tired of standing, we get tired of wearing our armor up. And then they sling the most painful arrow: ---"I love you but I'm not in love with you."----->
So no Lost, I am not patting you on the back, you admitted to not living up to your goals.
Did you do your best, do you have enything left to burn?
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
