A new beginning to an end

[soleil]

Hmm... so maybe if stbx sees me with someone in the future he will feel jealous? What do you guys think?

Saw some of my friends last night. It was fun. They were saying how I needed to get out of seclusion and stop hiding, that life goes on. So I guess people have picked on my little disappearance act. LOL. Then my friend told me her boyf "called" that stbdx and I wouldn't last, he said this even before our wedding. Sheesh. Talking to him later he said he always felt my H was too quiet and what happened?, and etc. He asked if I was going to start dating and I said No. He asked "so now your life is ruined since this happened?" and I said No I just don't feel like dating.

It's so rainy here today. I kind of like it. Wish I was at home in bed watching bad Lifetime movies and making chicken soup. Mmm. Now I'm hungry.

[ClingingToHope]

Way back in March 2009 STBXW -- after bomb before final split -- she said the one thing that will hurt is if I find some younger lady who likes to get out and do things like run, swim, ski, etc.

She said that will hurt.

STBXW seems to be the ice queen. She says she wants me to find someone. She wants to be friends.

We'll see.

Have you seen "When Harry Met Sally." Both main characters really struggle when they see the ex with someone else.

I've seen a guy mowing my grass and the same guy driving my car. She says they are just friends. I guess. If I ever see her out with another guy, that'll really hurt.

I had a friend who got divorced. When he started dating, the ex had second thoughts and started to try to get him back. They even moved in together -- they had a son together with special needs -- but it didn't last. He said there are just things they don't like about each other.

I'm rambling.

[antlers]

I've seen a guy mowing my grass and the same guy driving my car. She says they are just friends.

ALL CHEATERS LIE.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Interesting cause I remember you said those same words to me! LOL. You told me that when I said I was thinking about signing the house over to stbx.

Good memory you have there Sol! wait another 5 years things might change LOL

Yeah I don't like it when people say stuff like your friend's bf said. The thing is people form opinions about stuff and to him it's how he saw you. Doesn't make it as if the writing was on the wall. People told us that STBXW and I were a perfect fit for eachother. Yet some people said that towards the end they noticed things seemed different like we were disconnected. I don't think that was the case at all since it was all a big shock to me when it happened.

Yeah dating etc is just too much work for now. If it happens on it's own then great, if not why take on more stress? You'll date when you're good and ready. For now take time to heal. It's like a wound that needs to heal before that part of your body is fully functional again.

How're things with you lately?

[sosadoh]

Hey Soleil- just checking in on your posts. Sounds like we are experiencing a lot of the same general emotions right now/ sensations of the world spinning around you- I think this sort of detached feeling has to do with situational depression and mostly dealing with an emotionally taxing situation/ carrying a wound that heals very slowly. CLEARLY (ha!) I don't have the answers- but it is a comfort to read what you've been experiencing emotionally- know that you are not alone. I think this is a space in life that we will move through, albeit ever so slowly and painfully as it feels like the minutes of your life are just being flushed down the toilet.
The thing that has worked best for me is CARDIO! I've been on ADs before and had a bad experience coming off them. So, if you haven't already, I would try lots of sweating at the gym while listening to really good music.

[soleil]

I think the hiatus from DB was nice in a way. But seriously, what happened? LOL. Here one day, gone the next. I felt like a lot of people were seriously at their wit's ends in their sitches (especially John28-poor thing) when it crashed/got updated so maybe it was a good thing.

This "no contact" thing is working out nicely for me. I have felt better in the last week than I have in a long time. Today I woke up with some icky feelings but all in all, I think I am accepting the reality of this more and more each day. I did see stbx in rush hour yesterday--I glanced over and he was looking at me. I just kept driving. Deleted his # from my phone 2 weeks ago, too.

I had a lovely weekend and went out with friends which was nice. A friend of a friend's has invited me out to dinner and I said yes. That felt like a 180 for me. I have declined so much invitations it's not even funny. Have any of you ever seen Twilight's New Moon? (don't laugh). When Bella keeps getting asked out by the one guy at school but she's so depressed & has declined his offers 100 times and then one day he asks her out again and she say, "Yes. I will go." And he's baffled. That is what it felt like. LOL.

Finally got my car back and that is so nice. My repairs ended up being less than I anticipated. The car guy has a lil crush on me and gave me a good discount, plus asked me out to dinner. I told him I'd let him know. He seems nice but I am not feeling it.

Class & lectures this week and lots of studying.

[ClingingToHope]

Watch the Yes Man with Jim Carrey. It's over the top and unrealistic, but the premise is sound. Say yes to as many opportunities as you can.

[soleil]

I did see that movie (with stbx) actually, CTH. And the idea behind it IS hilarious but could be good (as long as you're not doing anything really dangerous/illegal).

[whatisis]

I once read a book called "F@ck, Yes!: A Guide to the Happy Acceptance of Everything" (1988) The message of the book was that of personal responsibility: embrace life and recognize the consequences, both positive and negative (so a reviewer on Amazon wrote!) I don't remember an f'ing thing about the book myself except that I read it, lent it to my aunt and never got the f'ing thing back!

[ImprovedRomeo]

I think this was the first time the board has ever been down this long. Not sure what happened.

I'm glad the no-contact thing is working out well. It usually does once you get over the initial 'missing' part. The less contact there is the better you start to feel. I'm glad to see that you're making good progress there!

I assume this friend of a friend is a guy...well have a great time at dinner!!

How did your studying go with the lab partner btw? don't think I don't have a good memory