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pinhead #2090826 10/18/10 03:51 PM
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Rob1971 Offline OP
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I still have feelings for her and she doesn't for me,that pretty much gives her the power here..

pinhead #2090827 10/18/10 03:52 PM
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She has no right to talk to you like that and you don't need to tolerate it. If you can tell her that you will not accept that behaviur anymore it may help.

M-48
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Bomb labor day weekend
No kids

Atossup #2090829 10/18/10 03:54 PM
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Rob1971 Offline OP
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Yep but then she starts crying, that's what gets me

Rob1971 #2090831 10/18/10 03:59 PM
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Cause she knows that works. She is doing what works (for her) and you are not.

Walk away if she starts crying, let her cry it out


M39 W41
Two children
WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09
Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10
No longer piecing...Nov 10
Separation Jan 11
EA ends again Feb 11
Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
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this^^^

Showing "Tough Love" is STILL "Love" Rob. Dont enable this behavior. Stop doing what doesnt work. Try something NEW.


Rob1971 #2090847 10/18/10 04:15 PM
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Originally Posted By: Rob1971
I still have feelings for her and she doesn't for me,that pretty much gives her the power here..


If she doesn't have feelings for you anymore, move on.

pinhead #2102828 11/08/10 12:46 PM
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I've not posted for a while, but I'm now 3 months into my sitch, and I'm not ready to drop the rope but in the last week or so I've started to feel a whole lot better and can imagine how life would be without my W in it.

At the beginning of last week, she wouldn't even peck me on the cheek goodbye anymore, the Berlin wall was running down the middle of our bed. She was blaming me for everything from not making enough money, to stealing her friends and not letting her take care of the kids enough. Even the grey rainy weather was probably my fault

So I decided to finally start GAL, joined a meetup group, then W flips accusing me of joining a dating site. It's only meetup.com fgs!! but according to her there were younger women who would pursue me because I was desirable, She's now joined too and wants to come with me. This from the same lady who turned me down for a date 3 weeks ago!!

I've finally lost the misery in front of her, we had friends around the other night and I was laughing non stop (the first genuine laugh I've had for 3 months) The next morning she told me that it would make her feel less guilty about leaving me if I was happier.

She's now all interested about what I'm doing on the computer (totally new) and asking me what I'm doing, holding hands coming up to me and kissing me on the lips, giving me a proper goodbye kiss, making damn sure I know she is wearing her wedding ring and holding me in bed for a good chunk of the night. I've also stopped opposing her moving out, and now she is the one talking in terms of if rather than when she goes. Is this some sort of manipulation on her part? or do all WAS's start to act this way when the LBH finally shows the first signs of moving on?

Rob1971 #2102834 11/08/10 12:53 PM
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Remember how she tagged you? She's trying to see how much sway she has over you. Keep doing what's been working. Keep going out, having fun.

pinhead #2102843 11/08/10 01:13 PM
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Rob1971 Offline OP
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Definitely!!, this whole jelousy thing is ridiculous. Several months ago when this whole thing began, she had no hesitation about going out and flirting with other guys, despite my protests.

Rob1971 #2102869 11/08/10 02:34 PM
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Dude, STOP with the hugging and kissing!! Stop doing nice things for her, stop with the little parties and all that crap.

You are blowing it. Once again, I see someone who comes here for advice, refuses to take it, had the golden opportunity of using the Shack and Awe technique, and they blew it. STOP IT!!

Each time you cave, anything you do becomes less and less effective until it really IS TOO LATE. You are only prolonging the process and playing right into her hands every time.

Just do what robx said and don't fall for her crying.

Oh, and she's "your best friend"....LMFAO!! Look what she did with the husband of her other "best friend."

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