SoAsh...I'm going to give you an alternate reality scenario, and you simply won't believe it, but I'm going to do it anyway.
Lets say that when your husband found out what you were up to, instead of saying "its over", he blubbered and cried, and begged "How could you do this, are we over? Are you in love with someone else?"
You may think if that is how it happened, that you would have said "oh no darling, of course I don't love anyone but you, it was a silly mistake".
But instead, what you probably would have said was "Well...now that its come out (and you are properly blubbering and begging and I feel horrible but at the same time, I know I can make this into your fault), the thing is, I haven't been happy for a long time, maybe ever, and we don't have enough sex for me to be happy, and that is your fault. I'd like a separation to sort out my feelings. And again, just to make sure you know, this is all your fault, not mine (because I feel too guilty to face the fact that it might be me, not you)."
Do you see the dynamic at play here and why you are feeling the way you do ONLY BECAUSE of the way he handled it?
You don't even know your REAL feelings right now. You are just reacting to this crisis...you are not really getting in touch with your deepest truth...THAT is what your IC is trying to tell you.
I received an email from him yesterday that my attempts to get him to change his mind have made him more determined. He said I'm trying to trap him in a loveless marriage. I'm letting him go. Maybe one day he'll call me and give me a chance to apologize and consider giving me another chance but I'm not going to bother him anymore. I hope he can be happy some day again. I hope I can be happy too.
Letting go hurts more than anything, but my struggle isn't helping anything. Reading DB should have told me that. I just felt desperate and did desperate things. If I had done nothing I would have always questioned myself. I was afraid he didn't know that I do love him. Apparently he doesn't believe it or care anyway.
Letting go hurts more than anything, but my struggle isn't helping anything. Reading DB should have told me that. I just felt desperate and did desperate things. If I had done nothing I would have always questioned myself. I was afraid he didn't know that I do love him. Apparently he doesn't believe it or care anyway.
It is EXTREMELY difficult,however it is so necessary if you would like a shot to reconcile.
The sooner the better.
Hang in there, we all made mistakes along our way.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Do you see the dynamic at play here and why you are feeling the way you do ONLY BECAUSE of the way he handled it?
You don't even know your REAL feelings right now. You are just reacting to this crisis...you are not really getting in touch with your deepest truth...THAT is what your IC is trying to tell you.
Do what you want with it. It means nothing at this point. To wear or not to wear? That is the question.
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 09/29/1002:34 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
