I know how that goes.........cycles........running in circles---feeling like YOU are the one that's nuts (am I right?). How about printing the screen/e-mail and [snail] mailing to him?
Last edited by handlingplanb; 09/28/1005:04 PM.
"Do not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." - James Thurber
Lance, I went to the Dr. again yesterday and she thinks it is the seasons changing. She has seen this in me before, even before the separation. But she thinks that the separation is making it harder on me. She can't give me any more meds and I really don't want anymore, so I guess I will just have to take day by day and work my way through it.
I'm glad to hear from you. I have a question for you. You said that you thought H was in REPLAY. Wouldn't the DEPRESSION stage be the right one since he went to the Dr. on the 10th and was told he needed counseling and antidepressants? You know I heard this from my D13.
Handlingplab, YEP, that's how I feel most of the time. I'm no where near as strong as Lance and the others on this board. I still don't know if H is in MLC.....I'm so confused about all of it. That's another problem if I snail mail it we will be charged late fees and he only pays 1/3 of it as it is and makes 3 times the amount I do, and I can't afford to pay the fees.
I hear you on the late fees....and I'm thankful not to have the financial problems (yet). My H also sees the kids very regularly and I can send mail back and forth with them. Maybe an alternate delivery? And maybe request that he puts his email on the list so he gets the notices too??
"Do not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." - James Thurber
AND - I know how hard it is to focus on YOU when there is so much life in the way---so much to do and responsibility. I know what it is like to feel like you are the only one unable to just "live" and "focus on yourself." It sounds so easy when others say it.....but I do believe it HAS to be done! I'm still looking for the answer to how to accomplish that...and have decided that it is past time to go back to IC. I just need to find the right one.......
"Do not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness." - James Thurber
I have a question for you. You said that you thought H was in REPLAY. Wouldn't the DEPRESSION stage be the right one since he went to the Dr. on the 10th and was told he needed counseling and antidepressants?
When did I say that? I just went back and read the last few pages which correspond to the last few months. It is possible that he is in depression stage. He is still living at moms listening to your inlaws. So I don't know, if he still is having replay antics. Depression is present throughout the entire crisis. So it would not surprise me that he is on AD's. What will surprise me is if he stays on them.
Please remind me, he never had an OW that you know of? You still must not change anything that you are doing at this point. IMHO.
I'm really in a BIG financial mess. H took our truck back to the credit union 1 month after we separated and he never told me. He drove it over 2 1/2 hours to get it there and ruined my credit. When I was notified I asked him why and he said he couldn't afford the gas, which was a big lie. He was living with his step-mother and father for the first 6 months and paid nothing and makes so much more than I do.
A few months later I asked him again why he did that and his answer was "I don't know why." I knew then he was in a big depression. He loved that truck. So finally he started helping make payments on one of our loans and got mad because I didn't thank him right away and said "Oh, that's right, I forgot it takes a lot to make you happy."
With this loan he pays whatever he feels like paying. And then around 3 weeks ago he closes it without letting me know. Don't know if he was looking for a reaction from me or what, but I didn't react but was upset since it is revolving and I had to use it for the first time a few weeks before that to pay for my car to get fixed. I figured I would use it since I was the one paying most of it all of the time and I had NO other way to pay for my car.
Mine doesn't see our D13 regularly, and hasn't bothered with my S19 that he raised for almost a year now. His mother and sister that he is very very close to now after not speaking to them for over 12 years because they were throwing a fit that H was going to adopt my S19 are in the middle of our mess now. So when his step-mother and father backed away from him he went running to them. And they are plain out evil. I saw things that use to put me into panic attacks when me and H would be in their company. And to think I thought they loved me and my son because they pushed me to marry H and even set the date so it would be on his mother and step-father's anniversary.
They talk about everyone and not nice things either. They are now talking about D13 (she over hears them), so she doesn't like to go with H since that is where he goes all the time. And all I had was his father and step-mother for family and of course blood is thicker than water so neither me or the kids have heard from them since H left.
So as I type this it scares me that H is never going to come back because of his family, he will not want to go against them in fear that he will lose them again.
It was a few weeks ago Lance. Maybe on someone else's thread. I forget. LOL But anyway, there is no OW that I know of and he has been on his own now for a little over a year.
He moved from step-mother and father's to an apartment and then to another apartment and now he is in another apartment.
But the other in-laws are running the show now according to D13. Please read my post above.
That's what I'm afraid of to Lance, that he won't stay on the AD's. I know that depression runs all the way through MLC if that is what H is going through but do you think he will keep moving?
I still can't believe he was mad at D13 and that's why he hasn't called her or anything for 2 weeks. When she told me I almost died. First he tells her the phone rings both ways (that comes from his step-mother), who the heck is the adult here?? And this is not any of MLC behavior, he is actually convinced for many years that children should call their parents but it was different for him contacting his parents. He has 2 S's from a relationship from high school and our D13 is so upset thinking he loves them more than her. She said he calls them when she's at his apartment. UGGH!
The part in all of this is what I don't get is that all of a sudden in the middle of May he stops all contact with me and tells our D13 that if I text him he will read but not respond and same with calls. WTH??
So what do I do with this loan thing? Last month I just texted him and put loan is past due and they are going to charge fees if not paid today. So he pays on it and then closes it, which I didn't even think he knew it was still open.
Oh by the way, H's sister and mother said he doesn't need C he has them and H said that is what he told the Dr.......JUST GREAT!
