CALL 303-444-7004 to get started right away!

 

 


A Divorce Busting® Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.


A Divorce Busting Telephone Coach
can help you save your marriage singlehandedly!
CALL 303-444-7004
or see Coaching Packages online at the Divorce Busting Store

A Message from Michele
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 8 of 21 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 20 21
Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: Blessed2BeADad] #2083429
09/28/10 12:03 AM
09/28/10 12:03 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,082
R
robx Offline
Member
robx  Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,082
Originally Posted By: Crushed2Death
She said, Oh fine.. I'll go sleep somewhere with the kids then.. smile
I said, If you'd like help packing, I will gladly assist you.
Her response, don't need help thank you. Why would u say that anyways? Are u trying to kick me out?

Should I even bother with discussions like this even though they are not R related? I'm gonna check into those books DB/DR.


"Yes, I would like you to move out as soon as possible."

Starting this month,
tally up the bills,
mortgage, taxes, utilities, you name it and let her know how much she is required to start paying if she continues to live there. Also tally up the time you spend babysitting while she's out bar hopping and living the single life.

She may start to argue, may attempt to make you feel guilty, don't fall for it. You just tell her plain and simple, you made the decision to cheat on me and you want to end the marriage, I'm fine with that, however, you can't continue living here as if we're still married, I plan on getting a roommate to replace you but while you're still here and haven't found an apartment yet, these are the expenses a roommate is expected to pay. I will also no longer be your baby sitter, you will be required to spend the same amount of time that I currently spend with the kids, I won't watch the children 5 nights a week for you. If you have a problem with any of this, too bad, it's just one of the many consequences of cheating on your husband.

And that's that.


"...Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favourite animal is puppies. I like serving the Lord. Hiking, playing volleyball..."
Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: Blessed2BeADad] #2083470
09/28/10 02:00 AM
09/28/10 02:00 AM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,866
S
Steve McQueen Offline
Member
Steve McQueen  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,866
Originally Posted By: Crushed2Death
She said, Oh fine.. I'll go sleep somewhere with the kids then.. smile
I said, If you'd like help packing, I will gladly assist you.
Her response, don't need help thank you. Why would u say that anyways? Are u trying to kick me out?

Should I even bother with discussions like this even though they are not R related? I'm gonna check into those books DB/DR.


See John28's thread for an answer to that.

Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: robx] #2083508
09/28/10 03:29 AM
09/28/10 03:29 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,544
Philly Burbs
G
gr8 day 2B alive Offline
Member
gr8 day 2B alive  Offline
Member
G
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,544
Philly Burbs
Exactly what robx said.
no variance. TCB


Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: gr8 day 2B alive] #2083581
09/28/10 12:31 PM
09/28/10 12:31 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 269
B
Blessed2BeADad Offline OP
Member
Blessed2BeADad  Offline OP
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 269
I think I made a mistake, I sent this text to W

I have decided that you are right. Our marriage is over. I no longer want to be with someone, who doesn't want to be with me, and treats me the way you do. I cannot allow you to continue to disrespect me and this family, with the things you are doing. You are free to do as you please with whomever you please, but you should at least have the decency to leave our home while you do so. It's insulting to our children.

You are right, we both want different things, and I realize now it's not fair for me to discount the way you feel and pressure you into staying in order for me to feel better. I want someone who loves me and acknowledges the many good things I have to offer, someone who respects the sanctity of marriage, and is willing the give all they have and be committed to our family.

I am deeply sorry that you have chosen to leave our marriage, but I am not interested in a friendship with you. I hope you will understand one day. Based on all that has occurred, it would be a great diservice to myself to reward your actions and lack of effort with my friendship. I wish you well in all you do, but it's clear you have no respect for me and likely never did.


Me:39 W:31 M:8
D6,3,19mo S5
I filed D 07-2010
Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: Blessed2BeADad] #2083582
09/28/10 12:32 PM
09/28/10 12:32 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 269
B
Blessed2BeADad Offline OP
Member
Blessed2BeADad  Offline OP
Member
B
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 269
Her response:

Goodbye.. I'm going to miss you, ;,(


Me:39 W:31 M:8
D6,3,19mo S5
I filed D 07-2010
Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: Blessed2BeADad] #2083612
09/28/10 01:33 PM
09/28/10 01:33 PM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
C
Coach Offline
Member
Coach  Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
Don't budge.
Don't apologise.
Don't rescue her.
Don't make contact unless it's about the kids or household finances.
Let her miss you for real.
Take care of yourself and your kids.
She's testing you.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: Blessed2BeADad] #2083613
09/28/10 01:33 PM
09/28/10 01:33 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,372
S
soleil Offline
Member
soleil  Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,372
Your response was good. Very good. YOu set clear boundaries and let her know your position.

I still never understand how or why the WAS' want to be "friends." It's like a slap in the face/insulting. Truly.

Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: Blessed2BeADad] #2083639
09/28/10 02:13 PM
09/28/10 02:13 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,544
Philly Burbs
G
gr8 day 2B alive Offline
Member
gr8 day 2B alive  Offline
Member
G
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,544
Philly Burbs
Quote:
Goodbye.. I'm going to miss you, ;,(


Give her the opportunity to miss you.

Like Coach said, don't budge, be confident.

It feels likeyour doing the wrong thing but it's exactly what needs to be done.


Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12
Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life!
“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: Blessed2BeADad] #2083672
09/28/10 02:54 PM
09/28/10 02:54 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,082
R
robx Offline
Member
robx  Offline
Member
R
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,082
Originally Posted By: Crushed2Death
I think I made a mistake, I sent this text to W

I have decided that you are right. Our marriage is over. I no longer want to be with someone, who doesn't want to be with me, and treats me the way you do. I cannot allow you to continue to disrespect me and this family, with the things you are doing. You are free to do as you please with whomever you please, but you should at least have the decency to leave our home while you do so. It's insulting to our children.

You are right, we both want different things, and I realize now it's not fair for me to discount the way you feel and pressure you into staying in order for me to feel better. I want someone who loves me and acknowledges the many good things I have to offer, someone who respects the sanctity of marriage, and is willing the give all they have and be committed to our family.

I am deeply sorry that you have chosen to leave our marriage, but I am not interested in a friendship with you. I hope you will understand one day. Based on all that has occurred, it would be a great diservice to myself to reward your actions and lack of effort with my friendship. I wish you well in all you do, but it's clear you have no respect for me and likely never did.


I think you pretty much nailed it.

Now detach, move on, live a great life without her.
This is her loss not yours, if she doesn't realize this well then you know what kind of spouse you had anyways so you didn't lose anything.


"...Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favourite animal is puppies. I like serving the Lord. Hiking, playing volleyball..."
Re: WAW The cold & cruel truth! [Re: Blessed2BeADad] #2083688
09/28/10 03:18 PM
09/28/10 03:18 PM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,246
P
pinhead Offline
Member
pinhead  Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,246
Originally Posted By: Crushed2Death
I think I made a mistake, I sent this text to W

I have decided that you are right. Our marriage is over. I no longer want to be with someone, who doesn't want to be with me, and treats me the way you do. I cannot allow you to continue to disrespect me and this family, with the things you are doing. You are free to do as you please with whomever you please, but you should at least have the decency to leave our home while you do so. It's insulting to our children.

You are right, we both want different things, and I realize now it's not fair for me to discount the way you feel and pressure you into staying in order for me to feel better. I want someone who loves me and acknowledges the many good things I have to offer, someone who respects the sanctity of marriage, and is willing the give all they have and be committed to our family.

I am deeply sorry that you have chosen to leave our marriage, but I am not interested in a friendship with you. I hope you will understand one day. Based on all that has occurred, it would be a great diservice to myself to reward your actions and lack of effort with my friendship. I wish you well in all you do, but it's clear you have no respect for me and likely never did.


It's not a mistake. You did very well.


men don't seek a "mental" connection with other men's wives. they seek a genital connection.

M:46 W:36
M 11y D8 D5
Bomb Drop: Father's Day, 6/20/10
http://bit.ly/bh1dwp
http://bit.ly/aTEpXG
Page 8 of 21 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 20 21

Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

Save Your Marriage! Schedule Online

Schedule a phone consultation with a Divorce Busting® Coach! Call: 800-664-2435 or 303-444-7004