Oh Johnny boy you are the first person I thought of when he said Montreal. It is an in-and-out trip (wow how fitting is that for him!), left this a.m. and back late tomorrow night.
Btw forgot to say it but good to hear from you, Mike! Now that you are a happily married man we see less of you, but that is a good thing I'm sure.
GRRR! Went to pick up kids at Dan's house and there is a big plastic bag in the middle of the living room with his old work logo and "Stephanie Lastname" written on it in sharpie. So apparently his friend is leaving bags of stuff at his house? And it was right in the open to apparently MIL knows they are seeing each other now since she was home with the kids all day...
I know, don't let it bother me...not sure why it irritates me but it does. So I figured I would write it down here instead of saying anything out loud...
((((BobbiJo))))) Detach, detach, detach.... It doesn't really matter what the bag was... coming, going, whatever.
It irritates you because you still can't understand how he could replace his family, you, with her. The thing is, despite what it looks like, that's not what happened. He was acting on whatever made him feel good at any particular instant. It was never about you, even though he says it was. It was always about him, getting what he wanted... now! In the end, that meant losing you, but really, he lost himself.
So I figured I would write it down here instead of saying anything out loud...
Please pledge that you WILL NOT mention the bimbo bag in any future conversation...
I, BobbiJo, promise to do my best to detach from Dan's personal life. To do my duty to god and my country. To help other people. And to get up and continue to move on with my life.
Hon I know it hurts but to focus on it just causes you to stay in pain and stuck. It is done. Please let go. You will feel so much better when you throw that darn rope as far away as possible.
I like Kerry's pledge. You might just want to add:
"And to get up and continue to move on (and improve) my own life"
Hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks guys. I am already feeling better. I tend to bounce back a lot faster these days. I do think it was the idea of feeling replaced, I mean other than her standing there it was the next most concrete way of saying, Look, here's my name, here's my stuff, in the middle of his house, where your kids live half the time.
I think I am a lot better at dealing than I used to be. I still want to be able to come here and vent sometimes. Because, I don't want to say anything to Dan when I feel like that, of course. That needed to stop long ago. And I can't talk to my friends or family about it, I am just done with that. So, you guys are the last place other than my IC where I can just let things out...thanks for listening.
Back at home now, Nathan is resting on the couch playing a computer game. In 10 minutes we are both going to go rest for 45 minutes before we pick up Sydney from preschool.
