Get a call from the W while I am having lunch with my buddy who is getting married for the 2nd time in Vegas on 10/10/10. Ya I told him he is gay for agreeing to that crap. Anyway I didnt answer, she then sent a text saying its important, so of course i thought something with the kids, I stepped outside and called her. It had to do with health ffing insurance. I wanted to tell her not to tell me something is urgent unless at has to do with you or the kids in trouble, but I kept all that in told her I would handle the insurance issue and left it at that.
Get a call from the W while I am having lunch with my buddy who is getting married for the 2nd time in Vegas on 10/10/10. Ya I told him he is gay for agreeing to that crap. Anyway I didnt answer, she then sent a text saying its important, so of course i thought something with the kids, I stepped outside and called her. It had to do with health ffing insurance. I wanted to tell her not to tell me something is urgent unless at has to do with you or the kids in trouble, but I kept all that in told her I would handle the insurance issue and left it at that.
Why didn't you tell her? You don't have to mean or argumentative when setting a boundary which is what you wanted to do there, it sounded like it anyways.
Sounds like to me, that when she sends a text to you and says its important, important to you means it has to do with the kids, important to her however may mean many different things. So.... you let her know otherwise she'll continue to do this and you will continue to complain about it.
It's ok to ask for what you want.
"Wife from now on, when you text something and say that it's important and need me to call you back asap, you make it sound like an emergency, something that has to do with the kids. An example is this health insurance issue, while important, not something that has to be discussed right at that moment. Important to me means something about the kids, definitely contact me about the kids. As for the health insurance, you could have actually just texted me that this was concerning the health insurance and let me know what it was you needed to contact me about. Please remember this for the future. Thank you."
and that's it.
You're not pissy, moody, angry, argumentative, you're just telling her straight what you want and not holding it in.
Sending a text saying only "It's important" following a call makes it sound like an emergency as if one of your kids was on their way to the hospital. That's nasty. If she can bother to text "It's important", then she can text "Call me about insurance".
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I agree with you both, But you werent behind me telling me what to do! dammit you 2.
She sent a text asking if i was going to not show up tomorrow night like the last 2 times she has invited me, so i guess she is keeping track? I didnt respond right a way, but i sent as long as nothing major comes up I will be there, asked what time? she said we can eat around 7 but you can come over as early as 5 if you want to. I replied Ok, she then asked what I wanted for dinner, I said whatever. I am trying to make it not a big deal, and she seems to want to prepare it like its a big deal. She then sent a text that says if you flake again......I dont know if you will ever get to have my cooking again.LOL I wanted to say, is that a promise? but I didnt, I simply replied I will be there before dinner.
Like I said before, I have passed on 2 invites, and I want to see my kids before I leave for 4 days. I dont think she is trying to be nice for "us" I think she wants to be friendly to make this easier on everyone. Which I am fine with, but she will get the , I am not going to be your BFF speech, and I will enjoy my time with the kids and a free meal
Oh, and the BFF speach. Appeal to her own vanity and shared history if it comes up. Can we be friends? I can be civil for the kids, but just how many of my old girlfriends do you remember me inviting over to the house while we were married?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Thanks TH, I will remember the poison line, and yes I have thought about just that, the W gets very jealous, or used to anyway of what we call "badge bunnies" women that are just attracted to cops. Hell she got jealous because I got a twin peaks mailer, so I will be on my best behavior tomorrow night. She has still been texting me tonight, I havent responded. Asking things like what was that scent I liked we put in the lamp berger around the house? didnt respond she knows the answer, I am not available at this time ")
Remember this (good detachment required), if she gets mad when you callenge her, be amused by it
W: "Why would you say that?" DSH: "I was just checking. A guy's gotta be careful, you know? And I can tell you didn't now. I'm a cop, ya know?". Just all smiles
And if you use something like the poison line, be sure to compliment her cooking in front of your kids
Think of playing with your cat and a piece of string
Again, timing, knowing your audience, etc is important, but the most important thing... playful, confident, and unflapable, and you don't cave into her demands. Cary Grant wouldn't do that
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/22/1001:54 AM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
