You are quite welcome idu. Better days ahead for sure.
I had mediation today and I thought I did extremely well. I was poised and leading.
The only item we didn't agree on was the house finances. I proposed a buy number for her and she didn't like it. She I told her to propose something to me.
At one point during the meeting when the mediator left so we could discuss the finances my W actually showed some emotion. She teared up because she didn't feel she should have to pay her half of the mortgage for the past year.
"She said we were drinking every day and she needed to make a change. She said one of us needed to leave so she left. SHe then said I could have kicked you out!"
I looked at her her and said I was willing to work on things, you left. Why would I leave my home when I wanted to works thing out. I then said this is the consequences for your action.
I felt like I led the meeting. The mediator just took information we agreed upon.
At the end of the meeting I said:
So in closing these are the items still left on the table. 1 2 3
WE were all in agreement. I then asked her how long will this whole prosess take? The short of it-- 5 to 6 months.
I feel great today, maybe Today was my W's wake up call! naaaa
But that's OK
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
As you all know I went to mediation on Saturday and I did well for myself. See post above.
When W dropped kids off on Saturday before she left she asked me if she could call me b/c she needed to discuss a few things with me. hmmmm I thought. A few things? After mediation there was only one thing on the table to discuss.
Satuday Night-
I spoke to our one mutual friend Saturday night at a party. W was up at mutual friends(MF) house a week ago for a playdate with the kids. MF said to W that you are stubborn and unhappy. Told W you are a family person and the life style your living is not who you are.
Part of their convo:
W's father has a beach house and we would all go down a few times each summer. I hated the beach but did it for her and the kids. W says to MF that she missed me this summer not being there and admitted I didn't like the beach.
Then MF hits her with,---You had a great guy and nows he's dating someone else. W was speechless, thought about that statement and started to tear up. She told MF that all she needed was time!
So when MF told me all this Saturday night I had really nothing to say. I agreed with her. Told her I was so happy right now and I'm enjoying my life. BTW I did date OW this summer, but we stopped seeing each other.
Today....
Called W as promised but got her VM. Left her a message saying I am calling like I said I would.
10 minutes later MF calls me. Saying she spoke to W this morning and that if I were to have an opened mind would I be willing to lesson to W? MF told me not to be too hard on W but not to make it easy for her either. She told me W is really having second thoughts but is unsure what I wanted. W told MF I still love him and I find him attractive but GR8 isn't attracted to me physically.
MF told her there were other issues there that make you think that. She told W do you think he's attracted to someone who is b!tchy and unhappy?
So now.... received text from W stating.... Sorry I missed your call, I was in the shower. Is now a good time to talk? During our M my W apologized to me only a handful of times.
I replied give me 30 minutes and I'll call you back.
I am typing this post during that 30 min delay.
I don't know how I feel right now. Part of me is getting emotional, I'm teary eyed as I type, b/c ALL the hard work I have done on myself wore her down.
Part of me has accepted that my M is over and I already move on.
Wasn't sure if this day would ever come but it appears it has.
I have to call her back soon.
So much to think about.
Last edited by gr8 day 2B alive; 09/20/1003:13 PM.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Gr8, I'm happy for you that it looks like you might have the opportunity now to work on things with your W. Just remember everything that you've done for yourself to get to this point. The person you have become and all of your hard work is what has brought you to this point. Continue to be that person.
I hope your conversation goes well. Listen, listen and even more listening to her. Let us know how it goes.
Good luck my friend.
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
Thanks guys, It appears I'm in so called "Control" of the R now.
I'm going to call her back now and hear her out.
I'm thinking we should still continue with the mediation contract.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
