Not well at all, When I call the kids tonight, I will have her get on the phone and tell her I am taking them tomorrow through sunday. I am out of town next weekend, and will take them another night next week.
Good, and when you are with them, make sure to take an active interest in things going on in their lives.
It's common in many families for the wife to handle things like putting the kids to bed, taking them to the doctor, registering them for school, etc, etc.
If that has been the case in your household in the past, then here's a 180 for you: you can become a better parent. Not just the fun weekend dad (though that's good too), but if an opportunity to really parent comes up... and you are paying attention.....
It's going to be winter soon, do they have new jackets? Winter clothes?
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/16/1011:34 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Good point TH, and after I left S's school today I sent his teacher an email stating I need to be copied on any communication that is sent to W. Any disciplinary action, good marks just anything. I think I will take them shopping for some new winter stuff.
A thought, should I even tell her I am picking him up? If she knew this she would probably show up earlier and get him, I think I should just get there early and get in line ahead of her, its kinda weird you pick them up in your vehicle and have a # on your visor so they know which child to send out, I have the number card and just think I should show up earlier than her. thoughts???
My thoughts? Boy, I think you should just say you are going to do it. Why can't you get there earlier than her anyway?
Let me explain my thinking. I have never been a parent myself. I have, however, dated divorced women with kids who had custody of those kids most of the time, and the number one complaint about their ex-husbands is usually something like, "He'll let them wear the same clothes every day they are over there, and baths are optional. The kids love him, and he takes them places and buys them toys, but he's just not a good parent".
This isn't always true of their XHs, but I am wondering if your STBXW is "momma bear", and that's why she is holding onto the kids: she's protecting her cubs?
So if they need more shoes, get more shoes. If they need long sleeve shirts, get some. Take an active interest in being "papa bear".
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/16/1011:57 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Honestly TH, she thinks she is Mamma bear and tries to be mamma bear, she just isnt that good at it. The first S she had an A left, and I won custody of the kids and took care of them for 7 months until we reconciled. They were 2 years old and 4 months old at the time, she knows I can take care of them.
This is the second day, and still no call from her L. She knows me well, and since I was seeing the kids regularly up until 5 days ago, I was fine. So she decides to change it up, she knows I am stewing now about this. She is a great player at the game she loves to play.
she thinks she is Mamma bear and tries to be mamma bear, she just isnt that good at it. The first S she had an A left, and I won custody of the kids and took care of them for 7 months until we reconciled. They were 2 years old and 4 months old at the time, she knows I can take care of them.
Oh, I see ... said the blind man. So this changes everything. It's not pure moma bear, is it?
She almost lost them once to you. Now... it is becoming clearer.
I am going to re-read your thread.
Quote:
She knows me well, and since I was seeing the kids regularly up until 5 days ago, I was fine. So she decides to change it up, she knows I am stewing now about this. She is a great player at the game she loves to play.
Sorry dude. I misread the sit, I think. I try to be somewhat empathetic to the STBX while telling everybody to take care of their kids and their own interest.
Yeah, show up early and phone when you are almost there and say you are picking them up and will return them Sunday.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/17/1012:26 AM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
She knows I am a good Dad, she is just trying to control me while we are apart and up to the D, she wants it all to go her way. Like everyone says here are sitches are different and alike. I have been doing a good job at the techniques, but my W uses a different approach, it makes her more vindictive and more controlling. That is my issue with her swing from one spectrum to the other.
I am trying to do the best I can with this, and I was fine with the D, still fine with it, I showed up at court ready to get it moving and now she is pulling this crap.
I called the kids last night, left a message they called about an hour later, talked to S and D for a while, had me on speaker like usual W was in the background sounding pissy, again like usual. D handed the phone back to W, I hear W say if your done talking to daddy say goodbye and hang up, what a example she is of showing the kids good manners.
Ran into a problem with getting kids today, one of our investors are in town from Canada, I totally forgot about our meeting right at the time I would need to pick up the kids, so I have to figure something else out this weekend, find out when they are at daycare and go get them and take them to lunch and shopping maybe.
Spoke to the kids last night, S didnt really want to talk to me, D was chatting it uP! I sent a text to the W about letting me know where the kids are later so I could come see them. Of course she hasnt responded, and I cant drive all over the place trying to estimate where the kids will be in the hopes I see them.
I do not know the W's schedule I just called the daycare and the W is not on the schedule. I could go by her house, but the drama she likes to play she could say I am stalking her or harrassing her. This is ridiculous. If she has the weekend off she might have taken the kids down south to her family's about 4 hours away. She wouldnt tell me, part of her game.
She is running this custody game, and until my L is involved I dont know how to get in the game and start winning. I am told let the L handle this, but for the last 3 days nothing has been done and I want to spend time with my kids.
