Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My god, Future, have you learned NOTHING in your time on here????
I guess not, since I'm not sure what you mean. We currently have a disagreement as to our custody schedule. It needs to be resolved ASAP. Right now I literally do not know when we will be transitioning the kids. Before our argument she asked if we could get together to discuss it. When she called after our argument she again asked if we could get together to discuss it. What am I supposed to say? Refuse? That just encourages her to escalate to the legal system. Put her off? Why?
NEVER accept the first offer to get together. You're BUSY, and mysterious, and interesting -- remember? This makes it look like you're just hanging around, waiting for her call. DBing 101.
Just got back from our meeting. Went well, although sad. W asked if we could keep today's talk to just about the custody schedule. I said ok.
W agreed to 50/50 custody. She asked if we could have trust in each other that if one of the kids needs a little extra time with one of us, that we'd be agreeable to informal "flexing" of the schedule on a per child basis, as in ocassionally giving each other "solo" time with each of the kids. I said ok, but I said I wanted our agreement in writing. In fact, I said if we had an agreed upon written custody arrangement, I'd be MORE relaxed about the schedule, not less, because I'd know I could always fall back on our written agreement. She understood, and said if I wrote up what we verbally agreed on, she'd be fine with it.
She was sad during the whole talk, and I was too. I said I was tired of not having a set custody arrangement, and I was tired of us arguing and fighting about it. She defended us and said "We haven't been fighting or arguing. We've been doing well, up until you asked to change the schedule." She smiled and said "You just have bad timing."
There were long pregnant pauses, where each of us was avoiding talking about our R. We successfully avoided it. W asked if we could meet next week to talk about "us". We walked out together, and when we got to the cars, she reached out and hugged me long and hard. The hug just went on and on, almost stopping, then she'd grab hold again. I finally pulled back and ended it, we said goodbye and that was it. I'm glad we will hopefully be able to get a 50/50 custody arrangement in writing.
The good news is I was nervous today, but not only because of the meeting. A couple weeks ago I ran into a young guy I met at one of my open mic performances. He was very complimentary to me, and he asked if I'd like to play a few songs together. I said sure. We met over the weekend and threw around some ideas, then settled on three songs. We're scheduled to play at the open mic night together on Wednesday. I've got my work cut out for me preparing, and I'm nervous about it. Should be an extremely cool set if we can pull it off. We're schedule to play an old Bill Monroe bluegrass tune called "Love Please Come Home", a very cool Funkadelic song from the 70's called "Can You Get to That" (on two acoustic guitars, no less!), and "Mother" by Pink Floyd, which is beyond awesome. The kid is half my age, and he's into all this old music! Writes his own tunes as well, very good stuff. Word has gotten out, and like everyone I know is planning on going to watch. Not too much pressure! I was considering telling W about it today, but I decided not to.
Now I just need to remember all the words to "Mother". Do you think they'll drop the bomb?
I think I probably screwed up last night, not about my "sitch", as that's fading into the distance, but rather just for ME. W had to come over to drop off some forms for the kids for school. I've been rehearsing like crazy trying to get ready for my gig tonight. I was playing when she showed up, but I stopped and went to exchange stuff. I kept the exchange very short, because I wanted to get back to rehearsing.
While W was in my kitchen, she revealed her latent curiosity about what's going with me by scanning my counter, and zeroing in on a little piece of paper with my song list on it. She says "Wow, Funkadelic?" I tried to make little of it, and said "Just a few songs I'm working on." She said "Do you have a plan to play out at <bar name> any time soon?" I am a horrible liar, and it seemed so silly to purposely not tell her, so I smiled and said "Well... actually... I'll be playing tomorrow night." Her face lit up and she said "What?! Well, um, would you mind if I went to watch?" I paused for a bit, then said "Oh, I guess that would be ok." I smiled and said "It'll just add to the strangeness of the whole situation." I told her about the young kid I'll be playing with.
I wasn't very excited about her going. I feel like it's something in MY life, and I'm not sure I want her invading it. But, she seemed like she sincerely wanted to support me, so I agreed. I even asked if she wanted to hear what I've been working on, and she said sure. It wasn't that I wanted to perform for HER. I strangely felt like I just wanted to plop someone on the sofa as a surrogate audience, and she was there. I'm very nervous about performing, and I wanted to try to play in front of someone. I played "Mother" for her, and made it through without a hitch, so I was pleased. That tune has bloody 5/4 time in some sections! She said I sounded great, and I'd do well, then went to leave. She reiterated before she left "You sure you're ok with me going?" I said "It's ok, I don't mind." She could hear hesitation in my voice, and she said "If you decide you don't want me to, you have to let me know before I get home, because I'm gonna start texting and calling and getting a group together to go!" She asked "Who's going to be going on your end?" I said "There will be a group from work, and a bunch of friends." She started digging a bit for info, but I was evasive. She let it go, and we said goodbye.
I suppose it feels a little good to be pursued, but I don't know why she's pursuing. Whatever. I've got more important things to worry about! Like remembering lyrics!
Damn right it feels good. Dude!! U r fighting for your R/M. She is interested. She is possibly attracted. What da heck is wrong w that??? u did great. Just flirt w the hot groupies and you're golden.
Damn right it feels good. Dude!! U r fighting for your R/M. She is interested. She is possibly attracted. What da heck is wrong w that??? u did great. Just flirt w the hot groupies and you're golden.
I just feel like "whatever" regarding her pursuit. I'm done fighting for my R/M, because it's a losing fight. What I AM fighting for is my own d*mn happiness, and my kids' happiness. Whether that includes her or not, we'll see.
Nothing is wrong with her interest and attraction, but I'm not acting like it's some precious gift anymore. Several other single women are coming out to see me play tonight. Should be a great time.
Damn right it feels good. Dude!! U r fighting for your R/M. She is interested. She is possibly attracted. What da heck is wrong w that??? u did great. Just flirt w the hot groupies and you're golden.
DB seriously needs a "LOL" button/LOL smileyface.
Future, you are doing VERY well. And I know this because of this statement:
Originally Posted By: futureunknown
I wasn't very excited about her going. I feel like it's something in MY life, and I'm not sure I want her invading it.
Last night was awesome. W didn't end up coming. She sent me a text saying she she couldn't get anyone to go with her! Ha! I was relieved.
About a dozen of my friends showed up and we all had a great time waiting until our turn up on stage. The feeling was so fun and supportive, my nerves were virtually nonexistent. The fact that I was playing with another guy took an enormous amount of pressure off me.
Earlier yesterday I decided to change my look, and I went out and got a very short haircut, shorter than I've ever had. Essentially like a military cut, and I got a subtley flashy but cool shirt to wear. When the ladies showed up I got comments like "Look at you! You look like a rock star!" One woman was flirting and hitting on me endlessly, and two others were vying for my attention. Felt d*mn good.
Finally our time arrived and we went on stage. Was a blast. The crowd was cheering and singing along. We ended up doing two extra songs. Folks said we were like father and son up there. As we neared the end of the song "Mother" I got a wave of relief as I realized I was going to make it through the song without forgetting any of the lyrics. My young partner got the crowd rocking with his funk tunes. Really great time.
Afterwards, the woman who was flirting so much had to leave, but a short while later she texted me, saying "You did great, and you looked d*mn sexy up there". A 25-ish year old woman came up to me and introduced herself and wanted to hang with me. Life is good...
