So basically our emails went back and forth. She did not agree with my proposal, I simly said stop being self dealing, its not about money, lets focus on the kids. This was the last email i sent her:
Whats not good for the kids? not seeing their father is not good for them? or living in daycare while you work? Lets not get into a tug of war with the kids as a rope. The past few months we were living together, I left work that I was not receiving a pacheck for to get the kids, feed them and put them to bed as you worked. At the time you were the only one getting a steay paycheck, I did what I had to do for our family. But our kids need both of us in our lives as much as possible, it is not a monetary thing, the plan I proposed is plenty of time with you and plenty of time with their Father. I live 10 minutes from you and the school, so there is not really a road block in their life. We are getting a divorce, they need both of us to get them through this, spending 5 days a month with me is not healthy for their well-being and not for their self worth. What I propose is fair for our kids
While I wrote this and sent this she sent me another email:
Why is it when I try and have a personal relationship with you you still shove me away.
I am not shoving her awau I am trying to put a schedule together for our KIDS. Why does she make this about her. I am going to lose itsoon with her. I mention lets let the courts figure it out, and she does not touch on that. She continues to talk about "our" relationship. Am i being too forward with my wants? I express the kids interest and she goes back to a "friendship" type talk about us. I am not talking about us, I am not referring to us, my emails are about the kids, working a schedule and she keeps this sh!t up. I think I am dealing with an alien this board hasnt seen before, If I am wrong and you have dealt or seen this before, what do I need to do from here?
I have not responded to the last email, and she has not responded to mine. I will leave it until tomorrow but I need some advice here. I am lost on where to go....
That's funny, but... I think you want to convey some respect too
IRL, I am afraid that might sound a bit too much like "I just wanna get laid" at this point in his non-R, and I never liked the whole FWP idea anyway (doesn't work).
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/13/1005:19 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
We obviously cannot come to an agreement. Any further communications need to go through my attorney. Please do not contact me again. If you would like to set up some temporary visitation arrangements before Oct. hearing you can do so with my attorney. I will pick up S every day until the hearing unless other arrangements have been made through my attorney.
My response was this: please forward your attorneys info, glad you have the kids best interest in mind.
Yes I could have left the last sentence out, but here we go with another power play on her part using the kids. She makes me sick, I am really upset right now.
Yes I could have left the last sentence out, but here we go with another power play on her part using the kids. She makes me sick, I am really upset right now.
Hopefully I am not getting you mixed up with another poster when I offer this criticism:
It's not a power play. She already has the kids when she wants and you bargaining. She shut you down and refered you to her attorney.
She has an attorney. If I remember, you decided to do this Pro Se (or Im Pro Per).
She is prepared, and you are just behind the curve is all... despite your assertion that you don't need an attorney. I am thinking this to myself anyway.
And yes, the last line is unneccessary.
All this legal and custody crap is better handled by a third party so you can say the same thing if she breaches legal issues: "I have no idea. I'm not a lawyer, and that's what attorneys are for. Let's let them figure it out".
What do we usually say: No R talk, no legal talk (get an attorney to do that for you), go dim, and keep things cordial.
This battle over visitation is the downside of handling your own legal matters on points where you are not in agreement.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/13/1005:48 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
She's the one leading. She told you what you should have told her long ago.
Get a new visitation schedule ASAP.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Thanks guys, th you are not upsetting me. I am going to contact her L, I have already sent a message to my L about retainer I am going to put a stop to this crap.
I don't play along and she uses the kids this way, it makes me sick and ewill probably make the judge sick as well, this judge does not like games and especially using the kids as the bait.
So much for dbing for my M now, that is over with, all about my kids now.
