That is that. The anger she yields is just crazy. Did I take the lead here? we still dont have a plan in place which I will put what I would like together and ask her the same.
of course she's angry, ever here the saying "... be careful what you wish for because you just might get it"
Her filing for divorce was her power move, her gesture to the world that she's big and strong and can make it all on her own without you and that her life will be all peaches and cream.
By your own words & descriptions, nearly every time you see her, she is in a state of disrepair, looking like she got a few hours sleep, overworked, tired, beat, drained, etc. etc. But the life she asked for was one to be single from you and not have you around to help and learn to be big girl and live on her own and take care of everything on her own, where previously living with you, you shouldered a large portion of the responsibilities that she never had to get involved with.... until now.
And you on the other hand appear to be living good, thriving, you got your own place, work is good, going to the gym, taking care of yourself, working on your personal development, renewing your faith & spirituality, living a good life and taking care of your children and you are busy as heck but still managing quite well.
I'm sure your wife expected you to fail miserably, she didn't expect you to be succeeding and thriving.
And yes... she will be angry at you, how dare you be so happy and move on with your life in a positive direction when SHE decided to divorce you?! This isn't how she envisioned her plan to work out. You were supposed to be the person struggling, having a hard time with things, you were supposed to chase her, work hard for her, "fight for her" (remember she said it herself) and guess what..... none of that happened according to her original plan.
Keep doing what you're doing, expect another delay from her and reasons why it's taking longer, don't expect them to be valid reasons.
Last edited by robx; 09/10/1004:25 PM. Reason: because I felt like it! LOL! p.s. I never fill in a reason for editing, so I put this in just for $hits and giggles
You see, her lawyer can delay things and doesn't have to tell you squat. He does have to notify your attorney, however, and your attorney most likely can smell BS a mile away.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/10/1004:28 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I think its the truth TH and Pin, I verified it with the Clerk. Plus my W's L is the one representing a party in the previous hearing. I dont think its my W delaying things. It does give her another 30 days til even our first hearing so it wont be final for at least another 60-90 days at the earliest. But again I am not contesting the D, just going to protect the kids and myself, I have come to the truth, she wants a D she can have it and pay for it. What pisses me off is it wasted my whole day, I got sh!t to do!!!!
Tell her the next time you see her that if she doesn't plan on attending the next scheduled court date that she needs to let you know so that you don't waste your time going either.
She did text me again this morning asking about the kids insurance. I told her It will be in effect any day now. I asked if something was wrong. She said no, just in case something happened she wanted the insurance info.
SHe lead into the question today with something that is nonconfrontational. I answered her question, and that was it.
I want to have a plan similar to others. Anyone else who has followed my thread have any input?
Why would she needs to hit me where it hurts? she filed and I am not standing in her way? Thatt is what I dont get?
If you were in a fight with someone, would you hit them where it doesn't hurt? What would be the use of that?
Come up with a plan and propose it to her regarding shared custody of the kids.
No more weekend dad bull$hit.
Tell her what you want, don't be afraid, you never get more than what you ask for.
I don't know what you want as far as a schedule but you need to be clear about it and put it in front of her and let her know that this is what you want.
Do you want an entire week and weekend with the kids and then swap weeks with her?
Monday to friday, saturday & sunday and then she gets the kids for the same amount of time?
Split the week in half and then swap every other weekend?
Monday - Wed with you, thurs - friday with her, weekend for you and then alternate this with her the next week, mon - wed with her, thurs-friday with you, weekend with her, etc.
You need to come up with a plan and present it to her, you're the man, come up with the plan, stan ;-) (and if you have kids, maybe get a mini van)
That is that. The anger she yields is just crazy. Did I take the lead here? we still dont have a plan in place which I will put what I would like together and ask her the same.
So much for her "plans" that she said she already had ;-)
You see, her lawyer can delay things and doesn't have to tell you squat. He does have to notify your attorney, however, and your attorney most likely can smell BS a mile away.
Can someone explain this to me... how is that one L can just refuse to give info that is rquested. Because that is happening in my sitch and I think it's really weird.
Can someone explain this to me... how is that one L can just refuse to give info that is rquested. Because that is happening in my sitch and I think it's really weird.
Her lawyer works for her. The stuff they discuss is protected by client-lawyer privlege.
Your lawyer has tools to get this info when you can't (well, you could if you filed motions, etc), and her attorney knows this, so they will notify your attorney of changes, etc in order to avoid a lot of trips to court.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
as co-parenting we discuss a plan, neither one of us at this point should dictate to the other "how" its going to be. I haven't seen them in 3 days and I am Not going to wait another week to see them. Plain and simple. This is how I put the last text to her to get her to cave.
I am out at jobsites will read all your input later. TH I will explain the L situation.
One of you has to go into to this with a framework or you're not going to get anywhere. That is not one side dictating. It's just saying this is what I think will work for all of us and then listening to her input. Then you can make adjustments as needed. I would also suggest that you do it by email not texts. Texts can get childish and heated very quickly. In an email, you can read and re-read to form your own response so you don't react too emotionally.
So go over what Robx posted about dividing the week, decide what you think might work and write a very business-like email to W. Post it here first. We'll help you get the emotion out.
I like the plan where we split weeks and alternate. That is the plan I will propose. When the kids are with me I will cover any daycare costs and vice versa. There will be no child support ether way. All medical/dental bills will be 50/50. That is what I will propose. I am sure this will be unacceptable to her, but its a start.
TH, i am handling this case Pro Se, I have all the documentation from the last D that never went through. I do not need to pay an attorney thousands of dollars to state to the judge what I can state myself. I have courtroom experience through law enforcement and I have done my research on the judge hearing our case. He does not like game playing and he is usually very understanding of the Father's rights.
The W already has a few marks against her as far as game playing, enrolling S in a school without talking with me about it, taking him to a therapist without my input, and the first postponement.
I have not heard a thing from her after this morning, I started to think a little more about the past communication, she asked the same thing about insurance last week, and the same answers were given. Like I said her inquiry this morning about insurance was her way of initiating contact on something that has to do with the kids and does not have anything to do with the discussion last night.
I am sooooo glad i did not engage in the rest of last night's texts, I was so ready to lose it with her, and it would have got me absolutely no where. I will call the kids tonight to talk to them before bed and text her tomorrow that I will pick them up in the afternoon and bring them to church for second service sunday.
