I will post the outcome after I get back, It is the first hearing which is just to set temporary stuff, which has almost pretty much been done except for child support and a schedule. After this I believe we go to mediation, we will see.
Ok all, not much to report. Showed up at the hearing, W wasnt even there. Her attorney was there and said they need an extension due to the fact the previous hearing is running long, so I now have to wait until Oct. 7th. I provided my paperwork to W's L and said, it doesnt look pretty. W's L said maybe we can work out an agreement prior to the rescheduled hearing, I was upbeat andsaid Im sure we can. So I sat in the court and waiting to be sworn in(this way) the Judge acknowledges that I did in fact appear, and it cant be a default judgement. As I am sitting there, the previous case petitioner(an attractive 40 something blond) walks in and says "who are you". I said I have nothing to do with oyur case just waiting to get swonr in for my case. She said "oh, you're cute". I smiled said thank you and the W's L overheard it. I was laughing inside, if only the W was there and heard it what a classic outcome it would have been.
So really no step forward or back, another 30 days to DB and be "legally" married. I dont know why the W would not show up, I guess she really didnt need to be there. I have not had any contact from her or to her since those texts from her yesterday. I will need to contact her and see if the kids are spending the night with me Saturday. She is the one who mentioned the family pool outing Sunday, I will not bring it up, if she does, she does.
I think its the truth TH and Pin, I verified it with the Clerk. Plus my W's L is the one representing a party in the previous hearing. I dont think its my W delaying things. It does give her another 30 days til even our first hearing so it wont be final for at least another 60-90 days at the earliest. But again I am not contesting the D, just going to protect the kids and myself, I have come to the truth, she wants a D she can have it and pay for it. What pisses me off is it wasted my whole day, I got sh!t to do!!!!
[quote=dsh4320]I think its the truth TH and Pin, I verified it with the Clerk. Plus my W's L is the one representing a party in the previous hearing. I dont think its my W delaying things. It does give her another 30 days til even our first hearing so it wont be final for at least another 60-90 days at the earliest. But again I am not contesting the D, just going to protect the kids and myself, I have come to the truth, she wants a D she can have it and pay for it. What pisses me off is it wasted my whole day, I got sh!t to do!!!! [/quote]
HAHA ya Pin, what choice do you have at this point. I went to the gym, and sent W a text to have the kids call me before bed, thanks. also i would like for them to spend the night this saturday and I will take them to church. SHe replied with why dont you take them for 2 nights next weekend. I said that means I wont see them this weekend, not enough. She said we can still go to church together, I said thats fine but 2 hours with the kids is not enough. SHe said you can have them the whole weekend next weekend and they will have longer time with you. Me: I understand that, but I can only take them one day next weekend and I am gone the following weekend to CA. She did not reply after that.
She says she wants me to spend as much time with the kids as possible, I am throwing it out there, and she tries to set the pace. Im not going to let her do this. She contradicts herself for 2 reasons, one she is trying to pick a fight and second she is temperature checking.
When she could just let me take the kids one night, I even through out there, hey you could use the break go do something fun!
So I didnt engage in a fight, kept my cool and even suggested she go do something for herself. All 180's.
She didnt bring up the family pool idea for sunday like she suggested on monday. One of my pet peeves with her, short memory and part of her loopiness. She forgets stuff like that but can remember the color shoe laces I was wearing the last time I pissed her off
Anyway she hasnt gotten back to me, there is no schedule in place so if I dont here from her by tomorrow afternoon, I will tell her straight out I am taking the kids Saturday. Whatcha think?
...So really no step forward or back, another 30 days to DB and be "legally" married. I dont know why the W would not show up, I guess she really didnt need to be there. I have not had any contact from her or to her since those texts from her yesterday. I will need to contact her and see if the kids are spending the night with me Saturday. She is the one who mentioned the family pool outing Sunday, I will not bring it up, if she does, she does.
Why wouldn't she need to be at the d hearing that she filed for? Are you missing something here? Did you file for divorce or did she? She did, so I'm assuming she should be there.
Remember what I said previously...
Originally Posted By: robx
...Don't be surprised of some new developments in your situation (with regards to your wife's actions towards you), they could happen any time (and then again nothing may happen), either way like you said, you are embracing being on your own and you feel less stress, anger and tension - that's a small victory right there ;-)
Methinks she may be getting cold feet about this, otherwise why not show up & get it over with, it's what she said she wanted.
It got more interesting tonight. I went with a buddy to watch saints and vikings, blah to the game. On the way, I texted her to remind her to have the kids call me, the phone rings less than a minute later and my little girl is on the phone talking so cute. I talk to her about spending time with daddy this weekend and she got so excited. The W always has me on speaker and it pisses me off!!! you cam tell she is right there next to the phone. So I then talk to S, I ask him to take me off speaker so I can hear him better, he and I talk for a while then I tell him goodnight and hang up. Less than 30 seconds later I get a text from you know who:
W: We have to agree on things. U cant just tell them whatever and expect that to happen/
Me:They need to spend time with me how is this an inconvenience to you?
W:Im not saying they dont. They should be able to see you more than a night here or there. The whole weekend accomplishes that. I have plans with them this weekend, so you can have them next. I think thats fair. And you can see them for a few hours every thursday night and so that when its your weekend you can have them Thurs, Fri and Sat thru sunday morning on your weekends.
Me: Im still going for 50/50 so Im glad you think you can plan there time without talking to me as well. It works both ways Wife. Dont think I am just going to go along with your plan. You did not discuss with me anything this weekend as far as the kids time.
W: I have tried to call time after time but u dont seem to care to answer my calls and u never even answer all my texts(proof I have been dark ) The times we hjave been able to communicate, its short and oyu seem to wanna shove me off. So we are going to implement this plan come next week?
Me:None of your calls or texts have been about a plan for the kids, I will take them this saturday we can start a plan next week that we BOTH agree on.
W: That's cause you always hang up or dont answer so I never get to ask. Im sorry you dont like it, but we are busy this weekend. What day do you leave next weekend?
Me: I am busy we will talk about it tomorrow.
W:Im busy tomorrow W: Its almost 9, what could possibly be more important? W: I have a possible solution if you would tell me what day you are leaving, but like I said you always shove me off.
I did not respond after the last few. The last three from the wife were all about 15 mins apart. It took all my strength not to lose it with her. So I yelled at every play during the game.
She didnt mention plans with the kids this weekend only 3 hours ago with the first round of texts. She knew I was waiting for the kids to call, and I had to text her to get them to call. Is she using the kids to play who has the power? Maybe she is mad that the first hearing was postponed? wasnt my doing I showed up ready to get the ball rolling, Im sure her L let her know this.
What am I dealing with here?
She tells ,e she wants me to see the kids more and then when I am there to do so, she tries to set the rules?
there is no schedule in place since I just moved to my own place from the other place she held over my head because of the "bachelor pad" scenario being bad for the kids. She says seeing them every once in a while. I have been in my own place for a little over a week and have had them over 3 times.
I dont like the way she is going with this, I feel she is using the kids as bait or an excuse for me to taking her interactions.
Her comment above using the guilt factor of me being busy and throwing it back at me that its 9 and what is more important than this?
She does not talk about a plan or the kids most the time when she calls or texts, its meaningless bullsh!t and when she does call and I dont answer she doesnt leave a VM. I would expect if it had to do with a shcedule or the kids a VM would at least state that?
How do I handle things from here? I do not want her to use the kids this way, its immature and it gets me fumed!!!!
