Do I let her know my plans (moving out when, where, etc.) when asked.
Eh, you don't have to. You could be vague and say "I'm still looking for places, found a few, nothing concrete."
Oh, my advice is to check on Craigslist for month-to-month rentals or subletting.
As for the "friend" thing, I hear you loud and clear. It's amazing when your heart gets torn out that they still want to be "friends." So I am on board with everyone else here -- be friendly, not friends. There is no need to act bitter -- it does neither party any good and will make you feel worse. Act "as if."
It's amazing when your heart gets torn out that they still want to be "friends."
It is amazing indeed. I guess it is a self serving thing. "See, my ex is still friends with me, I did not hurt him that bad."
It's killing me that my W is now nicer than ever. We have had so much fun lately. It feels like dating again. We have so much to talk about and can hang for 6 hours in a row with no silence.
Before even having a 45 minute dinner was painfully long and silent.
Not too long ago she would come home only to sleep. We did not talk for days. She was totally detached, distant and had nothing to say to me.
Now when she's home she constantly pays attention to me. Interacting with our pets, doing my laundry and generally acting like all was okay.
That is all happening while she is waiting for me to move out. She is celebrating her freedom in a very strange way. Since I walk around all in smiles while still burning inside she might think that it's not all bad for me. How could they do that is beyond my understanding of human behavior.
I don't want to feel anger or resentment. I need to get out as soon as I can and go dark like I've never have been before.
I'm sorry that it finally came to this, but you handled everything with such style. I hope that everything else goes as smoothly as that last blow.
I agree with Ris though, she really does need to miss ya to understand what she was asking for. Sometimes the reality is just too hard to imagine clearly. It's easy to glorify the situation.
Good luck to ya, Doodi
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
Smooth is what I want. It seems that every time I took tha advice from here and implemented it, somthing positive happened. It may all be in my head and how I see things, but the R with W has gotten better and better.
She has not lied to me at all anymore. She is totally transparent and sharing all of her thoughts and doings. I'm the one with the big secret - this place.
I need to continue the DB and it includes removing my physical presence.
My W and I were like newly weds weeks before she left me (calm before the storm). She used Craiglist as well to find a room in WH then she dropped the bomb and left the next day.
Smooth is what I want. It seems that every time I took tha advice from here and implemented it, somthing positive happened. It may all be in my head and how I see things, but the R with W has gotten better and better.
She has not lied to me at all anymore. She is totally transparent and sharing all of her thoughts and doings. I'm the one with the big secret - this place.
I need to continue the DB and it includes removing my physical presence.
Work the plan. Either way you will be in a better place.
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
My W and I were like newly weds weeks before she left me (calm before the storm).
Why you still holding onto this? I explained why she did it.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
My W and I were like newly weds weeks before she left me (calm before the storm). She used Craiglist as well to find a room in WH then she dropped the bomb and left the next day.
We are far from being newly weds.
I explained to W the other day that I respect her choice and although I don't want the house I understand that she needs some help to make it sellable. I said that we can discuss those details some other time. I had already offered to replace the boiler the same morning and was not going to back offf from that promise.
I also said that I want to be able to look back at all this some day and say that I did everything right and kept my integrity, respect and honor.
This was the beginning of all the fun we have had lately. She was very happy inside to hear that. The crazy woman who was running around the house taking pictures of it and thinking that I was going to burn it down the next day has crawled into a hole for good.
I see my W acting almost like normal. This is not to say that she will come back to me, but I am not pulling and I'm standing proudly out of her way.
Coach, Still trying to let go. I went rock climbing with my boys yesterday and took pictures, put them on Fb. Who knows....Also, decided no acknowledgement of b-day since she has let go and I am in the process it would be counter to what I told her last week.
