Am I startint to be the WA now? I dont see anything improving in my sitch, as far as reconciling before D. Is it wrong for me to interact with this other woman?
Forget that you've been trying to save your marriage for months. Is this woman someone who's stable? Who's going to be in a good relationship with you? Doubtful.
It's very natural to be attracted to potential partners right now. I struggle with it all the time, especially since physical affection is so important to me. But I'm patient, my vows matter, and until I'm officially divorced, I'll do nothing that I'd regret in the future. Do The Right Thing... (wow, I should change my forum handle to Spike Lee).
I will not do anything before the D that would "hurt" or damage anything. I dont think anyone could be very stable in the process of a M falling apart. But it is nice to talk to someone going through the same stuff. W just texted me asking if I wanted to pick S up from school tomorrow since they are spending the night with me. She gets me so confused yesterday we agreed to wed, now she is back to tuesday. not going to argue, the 2 days dont really make a difference to me. I will get to see the kids sooner!!!!
I am going to move some stuff for the W today, being nice I will be chipper and happy. I told her if she wasnt home I would leave it in front of her garage. SHe said I will be here.... I asked her if she wanted the stuff in the pantry, she said all of it especially her recipes!! I said Ok.
Maybe she will be nice today unlike yesterday. Either way I will be happy.
Helped move more stuff to the W's house. Had a buddy help me with the heavy boxes. Her house was a total mess. I noticed her wedding ring was out on the kitchen counter. Neither one of us have been wearing them lately. Kids were excited to see me. Her thermostat was still bropken, I looked at it, reset it and now it works. When we were leaving, I told S I was picking him up from school tomorrow and he and D would stay the night with me. We jumped up and said I am going to go stay with daddy forever! I laughed a bit, W says "your daddy will always be here".
My buddy and I left, He said this is the second time I have helped you over at the W's house. He said she does not look happy and has a look on her face that she wants you to stay longer. I said you noticed that to? He said ya but she is as stubborn as they come, he knows W pretty well.
After we left W started texting me about stuff I brought over. She said you brought stuff that isnt mine. I told her set it aside or just put it in the garage. She then goes into more texting. I text her that my buddy wants to borrow the pool pass so he can hang out at the pool with all the ladies he saw there today. She started texting back, See you should have moved here. I said Ya "buddy" would have liked that, but he likes the pool and the leasing agents at my place. No response. Then about 10 mins later she said next sunday, why dont we take the kids to my pool together. I said as long as I dont have to go to houston that should be fine.
Another decent day of communication. I did some nice things for her, and she brought up doing something together next weekend. Again our first hearing is in 3 days, will just be myself and not be blah at the courthouse.
Good luck in court, looks like your kids know who the stable parent is. Reading your sich some of it hits close to home.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I have been off the board for a while. My W is not a bad parent, but my kids miss me a lot, thats obvious. I am starting to come to the realization that my W just wants out of this M. She wants to be friends, which right now I have no reason not to be. There is not OM, she has been nice( most of the time) so why be hateful? I do miss some things about her, but at the same time I am not curled up in a corner being a baby about this. What does that say? Where are my feelings of I cant live without her? not really there i guess. I need to really look at why I miss her, bcuz I have not been totally lost right now without her,
I think now you'll really be able to concentrate on you. The focus is off her. Just be prepared for her to try and reconnect at the most inconvenient time for you!
I am doing pretty good right now. My buddy who helped me move said the W's eyes were focused on me the whole time we were there yesterday. Am I trying to mind read through his observations? probably. But he came out and said "bro she isnt over you not even close" I hate to hear that, its ok for the hope factor, but not for the expectations.
W sent me a text about some financial stuff she can figure out herself. I did not reply so she called me, asked about it, I said I would look into it. She then asked to speak to the kids, she asked why I didnt respond to her text, said I am busy cooking the kids dinner, she apologized. S didnt want to talk to her, she said thats ok, D was on the potty said I love you, then gave the phone back to me, I said D is "focused", W laughed and saaid she had clients at 7 and 8 and that is why she called now, I didnt really say anything other than ok. She seemed a bit happier than the last few days, but I dont really pry or ask, if its about the kids, fine other than that we will jsut see how things keep moving along. She just texted me that i need to drop off D at her house.
My reply, looking back through Coach I believe, and replied "cheers!" she sent one right back that said, a beer sounds good. I said "go get one tonight, take a break! she replied "no time....tired" I said Sorry, maybe another time... she then tells me she has another outcall, and rescheduled her 6 tonight for Thursday. I really have no reason to kep carrying this conversation on, so I will not reply any more. What do you think? The cheers comment probably got a chuckle from her, Thanks Coach and she wanted to engage in conversation. I will leave it alone for now, she knows i am with the kids so I will get busy with them!!!
