Somehow in our brains we seem to think that if we just find the right words a light will go on in the spouses head and they'll say "Holy sh!t, what have I been thinking!"
Bingo. Me exactly. We're all like this.
Next we look in the mirror and say "Holy Sh!t, what have I been thinking!"
Somehow in our brains we seem to think that if we just find the right words a light will go on in the spouses head and they'll say "Holy sh!t, what have I been thinking!"
Bingo. Me exactly. We're all like this.
Next we look in the mirror and say "Holy Sh!t, what have I been thinking!"
Wii, whatever it is you've been thinking I'm sure it's personal...let's keep it that way
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
^ Haha. Yes we do all have that moment where it's like, What the hell was I putting up with for so long?
Had a lovely weekend. I did not respond to stbx's Fri "living well text" ever and last night he texted me this:
I'm not happy and I never will be. I feel depressed and empty... And love was never the problem. I never lost the love for you.
...so he loves me so much he's D'ing me? What in the world? I didn't respond to that text either. Should I? What would I say? I feel bad that he's feeling bad yet at the same time, he is divorcing me. We have court in four days re: the home/$ which will set the tone for our D.
Advice?
Originally Posted By: brenalim
YOU DESERVE BETTER!! Make a new life for yourself without this A-hole! In fact, join me in my plans for freedom! New Years in NY, Mardi Gras in February, and some place in Europe next summer.
Hey, now. This sounds like a lot of fun. I have never been to Nawleans!
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
If he has something to say why not be a man and say it without mincing words.
...Is what I'm saying!
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
A cute lab partner who's been divorced? care to ellaborate? I'm wondering if someone's been keeping secrets!
What are you studying btw? I mean in class not in the lab
Hehe. Not keeping secrets. I just started this class 2 weeks ago and that was my 1st lab. This guy just walked up to me and asked me if he could use my book and we decided to work together. I had never met him before. But it doesn't hurt to have an attractive lab partner. I am studying for n ursing, btw.
Originally Posted By: whatisis
Leave him be, you've said your piece (I think we all do at some point) and now you need to let it go.
Noted! I do feel better for saying my piece. I agree with you all about how we think we can find the right words and some miracle will happen but well... it doesn't. Oh well. C'est la vie. It's still nice to get the words off our chests.
^ Had a lovely weekend. I did not respond to stbx's Fri "living well text" ever and last night he texted me this:
I'm not happy and I never will be. I feel depressed and empty... And love was never the problem. I never lost the love for you.
Sounds familiar sol... my H says he's not happy about the D either and it's "not what he wants"... Love was never our problem either he says... Loves me SO MUCH!!
These words are empty sol... it's not what he says, it's what he does. He's telling you this stuff b/c he wants to feel better about himself. Be stronger than me! STOP TALKING/TEXTING/ETC HIM!! cut yourself loose! it gets harder as time goes on!!
You have to decide that you're worth it. I spent a lot of time trying to get someone to love me who treated me like crap. When I asked my H for a D... I'd finally made the decision that I would fight for me because I was worth it. I really wanted him to fight for me, but since he wouldn't DO IT (he SAID he would lots of times but never DID), I decided that I would.
You are worth it. Nursing school!?! Congratulations! That is wonderful! Flirt it up with the hottie lab partner!!
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
Exactly - the more you listen to his BS (and make no mistake about it, it's all BS) the further down you will spiral.
All talk and no action - pretty typical for a WAS. As I have mentioned, my H is one of the finest BS artists of all time. Do not allow your H to refine his "art" any further.
People that put their spouses through hell and then decide at the 11th hour to proclaim "this isn't what they want" or very, very cruel individuals. If he doesn't want "this" the person he should be calling is his attny, not you. Actions speak MUCH louder than words.
These idiots will tell you "divorce is my only option but I don't want it" LOL! It's ridiculous. That is equivalent to saying "well, I don't REALY want to blow my head off but I am going to anyway".
These idiots will tell you "divorce is my only option but I don't want it" LOL! It's ridiculous. That is equivalent to saying "well, I don't REALY want to blow my head off but I am going to anyway".
Hilarious! I love this analogy!! It is ridiculous!
When you are happy as an individual, you are in a better position to determine whether a partner enhances your happy life or weighs it down.
So the general consensus is not to respond, right? Should I just wait til court on Friday?
My brain must be f-cked because I feel bad that he's feeling bad. I really do not wish him any ill will. It does confuse me when he says he is living well, that "life is to f-ck up," then tells me he is depressed/will never be happy/love isn't the problem/he didn't lose "love" for me. Is that another way of saying "ILBINILWY?" just with different words?
CG, I remember you posting on here one time about how your ex would not respond to anything regarding the D until it was the night before of which he agreed to a settlment. Madness!
The only reason he agreed to the settlement was if he had not we would have gone to trial. The trial would have included him and his mistress which I supposed he realized would not be a sexy way to start off the weekend!
Your H is guilty. He wants you to feel bad enough for him so when court rolls around he can be the victim.
Until your H says to you "sol, I called off the divorce and I want to see if we can work on our R in a real way" don't listen to his BS.
My H e-mailed me at 6:30am y'day to tell me he hurt his knee. He is in mind numbing pain and he will probably have to be on medication. He e-mailed me while OW was sleeping in the other room. He wants my help, the name of dr's, what meds should he take. My point in telling you this.. don't get sucked in!
Sol, your brain is fine, it's normal to feel bad for them. It happens for a while and then as you move forward you stop feeling that way less and less.
No need to respond to his BS. And wait for what till the Fri court date? What exactly is supposed to take place on Fri?
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
^ As for Friday, I should have clarified -- Friday is the motion hearing (2 days, ah!) I was asking whether I should text him back before that day (regarding his depression/emptiness/"I never lost love for you"- to me). I never wrote him back and feel kinda bad and weird about that.
Originally Posted By: CityGirl
The trial would have included him and his mistress which I supposed he realized would not be a sexy way to start off the weekend! He e-mailed me while OW was sleeping in the other room.
Oh dear GAWD. Seriously? And you are right, trial wouldn't have been very romantical for them. I love how he is constantly texting you with her around. WTH?!
Originally Posted By: ImprovedRomeo
Sol, your brain is fine
This gave me a chuckle. :: Thanks.
It's weird. The timeclock is winding down and a year has gone by but it doesn't even feeling like it. Feel like I've been stuckin a time vacuum for the past year. Like the world has continued spinning, yet my life has been at a hilt/stop. It's weird.
: Thanks.