nice to hear from you, I have not read the book, dont feel I need to for this R lately. I forgot to mention, I ran into a woman I dated before the W, she since got married, 2 kids and is also going through a D. She just sent me a message on FB saying it was good seeing you, and that you look great!!! Good for PMA, but just gonna lay low for a while.
Pin call me ignorant, but your reference to the script, was that intended to be about me or the W?
I was referring to your wife. At least from what I've seen so far, most WASs aren't big on changing anything about themselves except where they're going to live and whom they're going to sleep with. Exceptions are duly noted however.
Isn't it weird how once you've started making your changes, losing weight, getting in shape etc. that women start to notice you? I've had more flirting directed at me in the last month than I ever remember. I just need to stay focused on more GAL, not Get A Sandwich...
Ya I gotcha. I have not ever really let my physical appearance slip too much, but I did lose about 20 pounds of bad weight, started tanning again, and keeping up with the shaving of the head and just looking and being like I am taking care of myself.
It probably goes through their head, why cant we do this while things are normal, why does it take a bomb to wake us up? its like you go back to the loving an imperfect person perfectly. People get comfortable and lose the urge to always look and feel their best.
The girl I dated before the W, I actually ran into a t church, which was very strange. She lives 40 miles away and showed up at my church? we bumped into each other in the hallway? We are both going through a divorce?
I start to think about this, W is showing me all the things i dont like about her, and it makes it easier. Like many here, my W still has her own issues to deal with
Yours and mine too
Had an unpleasant interaction with mine today, and I have been practically bouncing off the walls and putting nothing but huge smile lines in my face
When you feel really good about yourself, when you feel really happy, and then there's... well, you know
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
Ya I gotcha. I have not ever really let my physical appearance slip too much, but I did lose about 20 pounds of bad weight, started tanning again, and keeping up with the shaving of the head and just looking and being like I am taking care of myself.
It probably goes through their head, why cant we do this while things are normal, why does it take a bomb to wake us up? its like you go back to the loving an imperfect person perfectly. People get comfortable and lose the urge to always look and feel their best.
The girl I dated before the W, I actually ran into a t church, which was very strange. She lives 40 miles away and showed up at my church? we bumped into each other in the hallway? We are both going through a divorce?
I feel good TH, I am starting to feel, yes I have flaws but all in all Im a good guy. I think people just get bored in their lives. Was I getting bored in my M? ya but I would not just pack, leave and file in a month. I wasnt happy either, maybe my W did me a favor and pulled the trigger that I was scared to pull. W is still very cold tonight, I texted her and said I am taking the dogs for a walk, will take about 30 mins can you have S give me a call? she replied: K
Exactly 30 minutes later phone rings and its S. He is asking what I am doing, he gets upset when I told him I was walking the dogs. W gets on the phone and tells me what he is upset about. I said I heard him. S gets back on the phone and says he wants to stay with me. I told him that he needs to get to bed and be good for mommy, I told him I would see him tomorrow, W and I have no plans to see each other but I am going to make it a point to see the kids, one way or another.
again Pin it goes back to people get to the point of "void" in their M's. They feel they dont need to be that person, who their spouse fell in love with. I go back and forth on this, the advice is to look, feel and well be what they fell in love with. I understand the point in doing this, but at some point do you have to do this every couple of years or face another bomb? That is why I have revisited my first sep over and over, and I have said I am not going to do this every 3 years with the W. Things get tough and she starts packing.
THis is the difference, she needs to see the true meaning of worse in better or "worse" that is not my job to teach her, coach her or hold her hand in the education and realization of what a Marriage is. Sometimes I want to smack her upside the head with the books and research I have done. She needs to find this on her own, if not she will deal with this in her next M, R or whereever she leads her life to.
So the whole night, the girl I dated before W has been texting me all night, she got my number off of my company website. Any way I have been talking with her about her own sitch, I have been using what I know and have learned here to give her some guidance. She is a gorgeous 30 year old woman who works for a doctor. She said she has felt unhappy for 8 months, she left and that she just has no feelings for him anymore. i told her that she really needs to stop and think about things.
She said they have tried counceling they have spoken with elders at their church, and nothing has changed. Am I treading on water that should be left alone? Her D is finalized in 2 weeks, I have my first hearing in 5 days. She wants to meet up and just get together again, am I doing something wrong here? It feels good to have a conversation with a woman, who 8 years ago we had some chemistry, but at the same time I am still married. I fight with the fact that its only talking, but I am attracted to her, any thoughts from those who have kept an eye on me over the last few months?
Nope, that is why I have talked to her about what she is doing. not encouraging her to be or in fact go against the M. I have passed on a lot ofwhat I have learned here to other people.
She could be telling me just what she wants to at this time, I am not going to get in the middle of their sitch, and will not try to discourage her M, I am actually trying to help her with her M.
Again I dont know if he is fighting for it, she said over the last 3 months he has kept the kids for one night, in that he pawned them off to his parents so he could go out. I am not trying to judge but when I have my kids, they are with me, I do not pass them off to someone else, I embrace my time with them, d things with them and not focus on anything but them.
